There is a woman on the train with me...

[NotAlice]

Who is literally reading her book aloud.

She started mouthing, then very quietly, almost breathing the words and now she's whispering quite loudly.

She's sitting opposite me and wearing noise cancelling headphones.

It's quite annoying, but also I sometimes find myself accidentally reading aloud and would be mortified if it was me.

Her book is quite racy.

AIBU to somehow let her know??

[OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow]

Send her a note saying "we can all hear you Nora"

[FairytalesAreBullshit]

Buttercunt

That reminds me of a funny story about a couple of packs of butter being found in a cubicle on a ferry, with two finger marks inside the butter. Quite resourceful using Flora as lube!

[YoureAllABunchOfBastards]

I can't believe I have googled - it comes up with an erotic novel called The Siren - is Nora a writer, do you reckon?

[MuggaTea]

quick google suggests it could be "the siren" ?

www.google.co.uk/search?q=book+nora+zack&oq=book+nora+zack&aqs=chrome..69i57.5292j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

scared to investigate further ...... my poor google history.

[FlaviaAlbia]

Any paper with you? I'd pass her a note I think...

[QueenieGoldstein]

Find out the ending of the novel and tap her on the shoulder to say "Nora moves to a commune away from Zack due to his penchant for making pig noises during sex"*





*Disclaimer no idea if this is the real ending.

[silkpyjamasallday]

I wouldn't be able to hold in my laughter if I were in your position. Or I would be squirming imagining how mortified I would be if I were her! I get worried people can hear the music I'm listening to with headphones on trains and get really worried they would judge my taste in music, reading a steamy book aloud is toe curlingly cringy

[Stormtreader]

Or a note "Could you read the last page again, I wasnt listening. What did Nora say?"

[That1950sMum]

Just googled "The Siren" and found this little gem
“She seemed like the type of woman who'd help you forget about your headache by setting your bed on fire.”
Do I get a prize if train woman reads this line?

[NotAlice]

Oooh YoureAllABunchOfBastards I think she might be!

I just googled the Siren and I think that's it, and I've found it online for free!

www.free-best-ebook.com/romance/1812_2.html

Now do I click right to the end and tell her what happens?

[SouthWestmom]

Is it The Siren?

Bored, stick in a care for hours

[NotAlice]

1950s I'll send you a copy myself

We're at a horsey bit. She just said "gelding"

I'm scared.

[QueenieGoldstein]

Well manicured hands are never a good sign

[Scabetty]

Silverdragon1 I am pmsl

[SpuriouserAndSpuriouser]

That is simultaneously mortifying and hilarious!

Please go with Queenie's suggestion!

[Jeaniusly]

This is hilarious!

What a way to be entertained for free on the train.....

It happened to me once on the tram. I couldn't stop laughing but no reaction from the dear reader. Once I caught her eye I put my finger to my lips and mouthed I can hear yooooooo with another finger to my ear, that stopped it. LOL. Was funny.

[IloveBanff]

Can't you tap her to get her attantion and mime "Sssshhhh" at her by putting your finger to your lips?

[punkpuffin]

Surely she must realise by now?

[NotAlice]

We just stopped at a big station where almost everyone gets off, but not train lady. Looks like she's with me til the end of the line. She went quiet again for a bit when the train stopped and people were jostling past but maybe she was, like me, looking at the man rolling his little dog in a granny trolley down the aisle.

I do love commuting. One day, I'll afford a car and all this will just be a memory.

I wonder who Nora will shag next.

[QueenieGoldstein]

Mortimer, he is the older friend of Zack who helped him develop his share portfolio. It'll be disappointing for Nora and she'll go into a fantasy dream sequence about Zack and his "well-manicured" hands.

[IloveBanff]

Now look here, OP, you're getting my dander up now! PLEASE tell her! I want to know how she reacts. Come on! Get on with it!

PLEEEEEEEEASE

[beargrass]

I know a PP has already said it, but I also used to work with someone like this! She was mad as a box of frogs. Told us she needed to make all her weird noises and chat to herself so she could concentrate. Fine - BUT NO-ONE ELSE COULD!!!

If you live in the same place, you gotta go ask her if she knows she just did that, OP.

[NotAlice]

WE MADE EYE CONTACT

I looked meaningfully down at the kindle then back at her, she looked quizzically back at me

I made a weird hand gesture that was meant to be a cross between "I can hear you", "you're speaking", and "take your headphones off"- she gave me a startled look

I then pointed jabbily at my ears

She took her headphones off and said "excuse me"

I was all set to say something like "I'm awfully sorry and I'm sure you haven't noticed but you seem to be speaking out loud"

I actually said "aah, err, nora"

[QueenieGoldstein]

ah er Nora!

Brilliant

[NotAlice]

(she's stopped now and the poor woman looks mortified. I feel terrible. I could have just waited the 15 mins til final destination and she'd never have known!)