More of a WWYD - another chickenpox one!

[Silversun83]

My BIL's one-year-old DS had chickenpox last week. Therefore there is a good chance that their six-year-old DS will come down with it at some point soon, and as it is infectious for two days before the spots appear, there is obviously no way of knowing when they will be infectious.

My MIL is having a family gathering on Easter Sunday. Now, the thing is, neither I nor our 10-month-old DD has had chickenpox before. Too risky to go? I'm sure somehow we will be made to look the bad guys if we don't... But I don't want to unneccessarily expose myself or baby to what can be a horrible illness!

I think unless you have particular reason to be concerned eg known immune system problems, you can only avoid people you know to be infectious. Not those who might be. Otherwise you could never go to nursery or school or soft play.

Understand the concern, Dd2 has terrible chickenpox right now, but life must go on...

You personally, I would go get vaccinated. Your DD I would let catch it. For her it is most likely to be nothing more than feeling poorly for a few days (read: most likely! For all those about to blather on about it being high risk for many and the unknown etc). But for you? For you it will be hell and like you're dying for 2 weeks.

Yes, the chances of something serious happening is very small, @Wando - most likely the OP's child would be poorly for a few days, and itchy and miserable, nothing more. But there is no way to tell in advance if that is going to be the case, or if the OP's child could be one of the very unlucky few that has serious side effects of chicken pox - which can be fatal for a very small number.

For that reason, I would hesitate to advise letting a baby catch chicken pox, if it could be avoided. And that's despite the fact that all three of mine caught it, one after the other, when ds3 was newborn - he had chicken pox at 5 weeks old. But that was unavoidable - we had no idea he'd been in contact with someone who had it, and once one of them brought it into the house (ds1), they went down like ninepins.

You are right about how horrible chicken pox is for an adult, though. I caught it aged about 25, from a child I babysat for - I didn't even go close to him, just checked on him from the door of his room, and I still managed to catch it - and it was awful. I felt really ill, and the itching was unbearable! If I'd had the option of a vaccination, I would have taken it in a heartbeat!

Yes, I am planning to get the vaccine, especially before we start TTC for another DC and especially as DD will be starting nursery next month. But I can't get it before Sunday! Especially as I have looked into it a bit already and apparently there is a national shortage of the vaccine at the moment (our local private clinic has no supply for example).

I know we can't avoid the unknowns of soft play etc and I know it's pretty likely that DD will get it at some point but there is likely an increased known risk by going on Sunday.. Would you chance it?

I probably wouldn't risk it, you can get dc vaccinated in a couple of months and yourself earlier, so neither of you may catch it. I had it as an adult and got pneumonia, was v ill

Not sure how many people read this thread in the first place or would be interested to know the resolution but I'm always overly invested in threads to the end so thought I may as well update.

So, in what I am now referring to as Poxgate, we didn't go and everyone else had a lovely time... And yesterday the 6-year-old came out in spots. So we had a lucky escape though it was a shame we were the ones who had to miss out (there was no question about that!). I'm sure they were all gossiping about us yesterday so I am feeling a teensy bit smug. Though I just hope there was no-one else there who didn't want to be in the vicinity of a pox-infected child. And I know, I know you can't hibernate for three weeks on the chance you might be infectious but I think you can take caution.. I don't think it was very responsible of them to go to soft-play a few days before for example!

Phew, good to hear. Hope you can get the vaccine sorted soon. I got ds done in London but that was 3 months ago

Good move my DH had never had it and dd1 brought it home from school and he really suffered badly, couldn't breathe or swallow, spots everywhere much worse for him than both dds