To think post natal wards are absolute shit?

[SprogletsMum]

I had ds2 this morning and have been put onto a full 4 bay ward.

2 of the 3 other women have been quiet most of the day but one keeps ringing people all day long. There has not been a single minute of quiet all day.
I've been awake since 1am and I'm shattered but she just won't shut up.
I'm going home to the other 3 dc for some peace and quiet as soon as ds2s 12 hours of obs are up.

The lack of pain relief is astonishing. The lady next to me when I had DC3 cried and moaned all night in pain after an EMCS and being given only oral paracetamol. I couldn't believe it! I really couldn't.

I had this after DS1 as well: only allowed oral paracetamol the day after an EMCS. The whole experience was utterly traumatising. No sleep for three nights. I was brought breakfast the morning after the delivery but I couldn't sit up to reach it and the nurse wasn't allowed to help me sit up. Fortunately DS1 was really sleepy after all the drugs in labour because I couldn't have looked after him. Then I had doctors coming by to examine DS1's genitals because they thought they were bruised and assumed I was abusing him. I was too addled and confused to understand what was going on, I thought they were telling me his nappy was on too tight. I hope they all felt stupid when they finally realised his genitals were darker than usual because he's mixed race.

I know I ended up with PND but thinking back over it all I suspect the whole experience gave me PTSD as well. 14 years ago and thinking about it still brings tears to my eyes. The other three stays in the postnatal ward weren't that much better either.

My experience was awful all three times. The worse 'care' I had was after my first baby died. The 'bereavement midwife' was terrible, including cracking jokes about crematoriums etc. Her conduct definitely contributed to my PTSD, which I still live with 11 years later.

My other two experiences of post natal wards were your common or garden shite - noisy, hot, lack of staff, rude staff, staff who didn't listen, no food or water etc.

I agree that no other patients, esp those who had undergone major surgery, would be so utterly neglected as a matter of course.

Expat I've hesitated to post this but I think we have experience of the same hospital, I remember we spoke on here when we were both pregnant and we were using the same hospital a couple of months apart. Not a stalker I promise

I've spent the years since feeling like it was just me and I must have done something to warrant the treatment I got. No pain relief, no food, etc. I never did find the kitchen to get breakfast!

I just wanted to say that I'm sorrry it happened to you too but I'm also relieved that it wasn't just me. There was also building work going on while I was there and DD's cot was vibrating from the drilling all day, the noise was unbearable.

I have to do it all again there in August and despite it being 9 years ago I'm still terrified of being in there at their mercy again.

My experience was fairly decent, especially compared to some here but things could certainly do with improving. I'm glad MN are picking this up as a campaign. Sadly the chronic underfunding of the NHS is a deliberate act by govt and doesn't look like it will improve any time soon.
Anyway, I ended up on a 6 bed bay at about 2am after a long, slow back to back labour. Felt so vulnerable when DP was told to go home and after the midwife from labour being lovely and helping me wash etc it was a bit if a shock to be left alone with my baby with no one telling me how to look after her, when to feed or anything. Was exhausted and hungry but managed to sleep as there was no one else there when I first arrived. Beds gradually filled through the night and it got noisier but not unbearable. It was how I was treated by the breastfeeding woman that got to me a bit as she was really quite horrible when I said I hadn't been able to feed baby since first feed, one she hadn't woken (no one told me I had to wake her) and two I couldn't get her to latch.

There is a definite attitude of come on you silly girl get one with it from staff generally. Quite dismissive and makes you feel pretty shit when exhausted. I was ready to be discharged mid morning but couldn't leave until late afternoon as there was no one on the ward because they had all been pulled to deal with births.

General issues were lack of food at appropriate times (though at least they brought it to our beds!), lack of staff and lack of understanding that this is a very vulnerable and scary time for a lot of women.
I just generally felt overwhelmed, unsure, exposed and vulnerable and couldn't wait to go home.
Due DC2 in August and hoping all is ok so I can get out fairly quickly again. It does seem to be that the longer you stay, the higher the risk of a horrible time. So sad that so many women end up with such traumatic experiences. It is so wrong!

I was in UHW Cardiff by the way so if anyone is going in there then it was decent for me 4 years ago, hopefully it will be this time too.

God yes the pain relief thing. I was fortunate enough not to need any, but a family member (who is a doctor) had a crash CS at 35 weeks and had to raise holy hell to get pain relief, including ward staff who told her she wasn't in pain and didn't need any.

Oh and I've remembered that a friend wasn't expected to empty her own catheter bag post section. This must have only been a few hours post section if she still had the catheter in but ffs she deserved basic tasks like that to be done for her.

I was also told off like child because I ran out of nappies - my dh was on his way in with more but the Midwife went off on one and made me feel like she had given me the last nappy in Edinburgh.

I went without meals for a day as I didn't realise they didn't bring it round, then was told I had to go get it from the other end of the ward but most of us could barely walk after sections.
Also only had paracetamol/ibuprofen.. as soon as I got out I took my own supply of diflocenac which I'd been given in my last section abroad. I was finally able to move around!

I had no sleep for 3-4 days due to induction, had an EMCS and was then put on a shared postnatal ward. I had a drip that wasn't set up properly and set an alarm off next to me every sodding 5-10 minutes all night, waking me up repeatedly (and probably everyone else on the ward). The night shift couldn't work out how to fix it and then the first person who saw me in the morning managed to sort it out. It was honestly like they were deliberately torturing me by waking me up over and over; I got so tired I was hallucinating and had PTSD flashbacks if I heard any kind of beeping alarm for a year afterwards.

I was scolded in the morning 8 hours after my EMCS for not taking myself to the bathroom when I still had a catheter in and couldn't even stand up without two people helping me. I constantly had my partner or mum in the hospital with me for the next 3 days because otherwise I had no help to go to the toilet, bathe or look after my baby, and I literally couldn't stand up or reach to pick up my baby without assistance. I couldn't even manage to shower or wipe myself after using the toilet for the first couple of days and it was my family who ended up having to help with that. It was utterly degrading.

I was refused any painkillers aside from oral paracetamol, which was frequently hours late and we had to chase up repeatedly.

The default food in the hospital was practically inedible and involved no vegetables and very little protein or fats, unless you ordered off the special menus for Halal / Afro-Caribbean patients (which still weren't great but at least had some nutritional value!) After no food during my 2 day induction I wasn't offered anything on the postnatal ward for about 9 hours; thankfully I had a stash of biscuits in my bag and ate those. I am lactose intolerant and the only breakfasts on the ward were cereal with cows milk or toast that was already buttered, and the only snacks available were heavily dairy-based; I only found out when I was leaving that they had soya milk I could have been offered but the staff serving breakfast seemed totally unaware that it was available. My family started bring me food in the end.

The shared toilets were constantly covered in blood, wee and dirty toilet paper. There were often bloody tissues in the sink as well. Thankfully I got moved into a private room with its own bathroom because it meant my relatives could stay and do the nursing the NHS should have been providing, and those rooms were at least clean.

My experiences in the antenatal ward for my induction were broadly similar, but with the added bonus of a lady in the bay next to me who was either on the phone or had ten visitors 24 hours a day. I desperately don't want to go into hospital again for my next baby; it was hell.

Yanbu, I had the same experience, one callling all day long!

Is this walking up to get your own food normal in other wards?? I don't have tonnes of experience with staying in hospitals but when I have done on other wards food has always been brought round, why is it any different for woman who have literally just had surgery (sections) or had their fannys ripped open by an exiting baby?? Never mind the fact that we have to leave our babies behind aswell while we're off getting food!

And the pain relief thing, to be honest last time I took my own in, tramadol & co-dydramol because there's no way paracetamol would even touch a headache for me, let alone pains after giving birth!! Again any other patient who had just come out of having surgery would've given morphine or other strong drugs, not some paracetamol & told to get on with it! It's so disgusting & im dreading this time round in June.

After reading everyone's comments on here I think I'm going to have the balls to say treat me properly or send me home right now where there's people who can!

I agree with some of the experiences here. Postnatal care for my first was poor - not intentionally, but poor by design. I had a less than traditional family set up for my first, as a single mother. I was on the ward for five days, partners could stay 7am-9pm or some such, but family were restricted to two hours a day. I had my mum as my birth partner, no partner, I was 19 and petrified and had never actually held a baby before giving birth to my own. I had quite a traumatic and long labour, and pre-eclampsia. Sadly despite the fact I'd had an epidural and catheter, despite the fact I was very obviously struggling to know which end of the baby was which and what to do with it, my mum was only allowed in for the strict two hours a day.

There were signs all over the ward insisting that you don't leave your baby, at all. As a result I couldn't get food from the dining hall as babies weren't allowed in and I didn't have a partner to leave the baby with. Visiting time for my mum didn't coincide with meal times. Sonfor three days I ate nothing. At one point I wheeled the baby to the door of the dining hall and begged the server to pass me my meal, and was refused. Showering and washing was exactly the same. I wasn't able to shower or wash for three days after birth, and I'm sure you can imagine how that felt. I made the best of baby wipes and the curtain.

None of the midwives had time to notice my distress, and no one seemed bothered that my lack of a partner caused serious logistical issues when it came to simple things like having a pee or shower, or eating.

This was almost 18 years ago now and I would hope that things have improved for mums who are going it alone.

I should add, I've had three babies since. I had a similarly awful experience in my second labour (unmonitored induction where I can within about 30 seconds of having to deliver the baby alone on the floor of my side room as they didn't 'believe' I was in labour and wouldn't even examine me, let alone call my husband or allow me a paracetamol) but for babies three and four I became much more bolshy. I'm certain that my picture was on the staff dartboard, at points, but I was insistent on getting the birth and discharge I needed. In the first pregnancies I was powerless, like I had to bow to the greater knowledge of the medics and put up with whatever treatment came my way (because they were busy, and it's free, so be grateful). By my fourth I was openly challenging - never rude or aggressive, but equally not accepting or doormat-ish either. Not easy to achieve when you're feeling hormonal and vulnerable at the end of your pregnancy, but sadly necessary.

I was lucky with dc1 as was in MLU, it was lovely, quiet with caring, fussy midwives. My midwife stayed after her shift had ended, to see me through to the end of labour. The lovely midwives were the same ones giving postnatal care.

Dc2 I was expecting to go to MLU again but when I rang to say I would be coming in, I was told unfortunately all the midwives had had to go to the main maternity hospital in the near by city because the were short staffed. This meant I also had to go to the baby factory, as it was already known.

It was a brand new central building that had caused the closer of 3 maternity across the county and even with the MLU they were still 10 beds shorter then original hospitals had provided.

Dc2 labour was brilliant though. But I got on the postnatal ward at 5.30am, I got settled and just wanted to sleep as I knew this would be my window of opportunity, whilst dc2 slept off the birth. I got to sleep sometime after 6. Only to be woken just before 8 with the main lights been turned on, curtains opened and told to get up and go to the breakfast room. I think I said something about i'd pop and get some toast later(something you could do in MLU or they brought it to you) as I was trying to sleep. The midwife was quite rude, I had to go now, or not eat at all. The breakfast area was awful, one huge room with with long tables. Everyone looked half dead, and lots had drip bag things attached.

Some midwives were nice, but there were a few with attitudes, like we were all just useless nuisances, you could hear them talking at the nurses station in the corridor complaining about some of the women being needy ect...

I was lucky again, as was in a two person ward, and the mum next to me had just had her 4th. The midwives ignored us, as they told us we were the nice easy room with experienced mums in.

That mum left and unfortunately I ended up with someone who's whole family and extended family all piled in, kids running about, loud loud men laughing and joking, curtain bulging with all the body's, kids playing with curtains. I just wanted to go home, I was tired and getting more and more stressed. They said I could go, so started getting ready then a doctor came and decided dc was jaundice and needed tests but didn’t say when.

It was hours of waiting before someone came and did tests, then said the results would be back in about an hour, they weren't, just felt like we were forgotten. Dh had to go and chase them up a couple of hours later. I just laid quietly crying wishing I was home.

My birth and recovery was so straightforward, yet I still hated it. God knows what it was like for the many women who had had surgery/traumatic births ect, this thread show how common across the country these experiences are. It's so sad.

Some people's experiences on this thread have actually made me shed a tear. For them and what they went through and also as it's reminded me of how awful it can get so quickly when you are your most vulnerable and in need of TLC. They are disgraceful and heartbreaking.

One other thing I just don't get is how in NHS hospitals the baby equivalent of cold callers i.e. Bounty are allowed to actually harass and ingratiate themselves upon new mothers. If there were matrons around still or someone properly in charge of a ward this surely wouldn't be allowed?
I fortunately escaped this but have one or two friends who felt really pressured to buy a package whilst recovering from sections, struggling to breastfeed / soothe grizzly newborns / go to the toilet blah blah. Well they did feel pressured until their husbands arrived and told them to fuck off.
It seems so inappropriate to me.

I'm getting myself really worked up about having another postnatal experience like with my second child. It also makes me so glad that despite a truly agonising labour I got to avoid a c section and days of hell. Am almost contemplating raiding the savings for a private hospital so I don't have to sit in tears behind a hospital curtain wishing I was anywhere else.

My post natal experience was grim. My PND had started during my 36-hr labour and all I could do all night was sit and weep. The only time any of the staff took notice of me was to tut at me for trying to BF, roughly grab my breast and shove it in the baby's mouth and then close the curtains again. I hadn't eaten since my waters had broken almost two days previously but the only way to get breakfast was to go to the breakfast room and help yourself, but I didn't know that and I was attached to a catheter anyway and was still wobbly from the epidural. I had to wait until DH arrived later with a nasty service station sandwich. Discharged myself as soon as I had eaten. My night on the post natal ward broke me. Never again. Never, ever again.

The nurses actually laughed at me for not knowing about the breakfast room.

My DD was born too quickly and with the cord wrapped round her neck and had a suspected infection so we had to stay in the hospital for five days after I gave birth. The first night on the postnatal ward was absolutely horrific - from the woman in the bed opposite deciding at 3am to watch Eastenders on her iPad at top volume (the nurse told me it wasn't her job to police the ward when I asked her to ask the woman to turn it down) - total filth covering all the floors and blood all over the toilet floor - no help when I was desperately trying to breastfeed and sobbing when I couldn't - no food apart from what my DH brought in. We were luckily able to get a very expensive private room which we stayed in for the following four nights and it was the best money we could have spent. Writing this has made me angry all over again and reading everyone else's experiences - even angrier.

'I've spent the years since feeling like it was just me and I must have done something to warrant the treatment I got. No pain relief, no food, etc. I never did find the kitchen to get breakfast!

I just wanted to say that I'm sorrry it happened to you too but I'm also relieved that it wasn't just me.'

No, it sure as hell wasn't only you! Fucking horrendous. I'd brought my own pain relief in after a similar experience (forceps birth) with DD1. Got told off for leaving my baby to go get some food - not all of us have a person who can be there 24 hours/day - and no, I never found the breakfast kitchen, either, but lunch and dinner was a trolley at the far end of the corridor. And then trying to get out of there! I think getting the Midnight Express might be easier. Filthy. Too hot. Staff treated us like a pain in the arse.

Another special snowflake, I see, expat.

Eh, LDR? The reason people are there 24/7, in wards that are not designed for that capacity, is because of the lack of staff and caring - which must have been in place when the ward was designed. Further, that expectation leaves a lot of women in a lurch - they don't have a partner or 'support person' as it's called in some areas to be with them 24/7, so they get even less care and it means still others have zero chance of ever escaping an abusive partner or being able to bring it up to the staff.

So, no, I don't agree with having a visitor of any sort there 24/7 in ward settings. This entire thread is indicative of how disruptive that is to recovery of many women.

It causes a lot of problems because the wards are not designed to accommodate that sort of occupancy (not to mention infection control), it's an excuse to cut staff even more, it leaves women who don't have someone who can be there all the time in the lurch and it subjects women who have an abusive partner to their presence at all times (and many, many, many of these partners are not nice people).

RAH, TheLady. It's RAH. I hope it's improved in the last 8 years since I had DS. I guess it was a slight improvement. When I had DD1 nearly 14 years ago, one patient's partner locked himself in the patient toilet. He was finally extracted some time later, meaning we could not use the toilet, which you didn't want to much anyway, it was filthy, and had been in there injecting drugs.

Either you think people are 'snowflakes,' or you think that there is a broken system that is causing problems for them. It can't be both. And I think it is extremely hypocritical to call other people 'snowflakes' then complain about your own experience.

Liverpool Womens - shocking. Just beyond shocking.

I would imagine prison would be a breeze compared to the treatment and care I received on their post natal ward.

I got lucky with DD2, straightforward birth so I discharged from the delivery suite, but it shouldn't be a matter of getting lucky. A lot of those wards are dire. There's a thread on here, couple of weeks old, IIRC, from an OP in a postnatal ward after EMCS and with her baby in SCBU about being able to keep her curtains closed. Lots of 'it's for your safety to have them open' tosh and a few 'You're not allowed dignity and privacy as it's free at the point of service! You should be grateful, if you were in Africa you'd be dead' types of posts.

I have added pain relief to my list in my head of things to pack!

I also tried to discharge myself and was told I couldn't or I would have to leave the baby behind, luckily DH insisted they phone my consultant and he discharged both of us with no problem.

Everything was just such a hassle for them, everything was just too much bother.

I'm not sure how you can go and get food from the other end of the ward and not leave the baby. DH wasn't allowed in until visiting so he would have been no help with that either.

I keep wondering if I should transfer my care to the big new hospital but I really like my consultant.