To not invite in unknown child

[FlippedUpRightSide]

Yesterday meeting a friend who's moved about 40min drive away. When she comes we often go to the park etc but have lunch at mine first, not always but mostly it's convenient after the drive.

I text 'meet park just after lunch?', she'd be in area earlier for shopping she said from 10. But then she said her son was brining a friend. If relevant I have 4 kids, she has 2 so a house full anyway. I presumed then if brining a child I'd never met she'd sort out lunch and meet us at the park. She presumed I'd have him round to feed as I often do. I don't mind the feeding, I'd happily bring a picnic, but I never invite unknown children I've never met. Over the years I've been well and truely burnt with some horror stories of kids who hurt my younger ones/ trash the house/ are argumentative. Her son is a bit of a handful (though I like him) and does tend to be friends with some boisterous boys. If I don't meet kids first I don't have them round anymore. My house is no palace, it's more the ones who shove the toddler and paint the walls that caused the rule! Locally is not unusual behaviour! My children aren't saints, but aren't violent or distructive.

Who is bu?

Not OP's situation I know, but am I the only person who has a veritable scene of unknown children wandering in and out of the house? You don't really get to keep track in the same way once the DC are older.

"I sent text asking to meet at park after lunch

She said she was in the area from 10 and her child had a friend with them

At no point did she say they needed lunch/ wanted to visit prior to park, though it has been done before.

So I went out before the park presuming from her text that she wouldn't be thinking of bringing the child to mine just because she was in the area. She presumed the text was enough to imply she'd lunch here"

I'm not the only one

But later in thread, it's all a bit clearer

"I texted early am to meet at park at 1pm as nice day, she texted to say yes and about bringing friend and being on the area early due to shopping. Only two texts"

I'm not a flipping mind-reader

I texted early am to meet at park at 1pm as nice day, she texted to say yes and about bringing friend and being on the area early due to shopping. Only two texts
Well if they were the only texts sent then she is being unreasonable because you've offered a time & place and haven't agreed to any changes. The friend is irrelevant (though while I don't think it's necessarily a huge deal having an extra kid, it's OP's house & politeness would suggest the friend saying 'is it okay if...') Friend sounds like she's agreed to after lunch in the park. Just because she's telling you she's in the area earlier doesn't mean you should have assumed she was changing your plan to lunch. OP is not in the wrong on this issue (in my terribly humble opinion)

OP, your friend was chancing it.
You've never been to her house for lunch !
I'm with you all the way.
Don't give it anymore head space.

YANBU OP. You said "after lunch". Clear.