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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take my children on a long haul holiday?

62 replies

choccywoccywoowah · 12/04/2017 03:17

I graduate next year. It's been a bloody long slog that (if I'm truly honest) has at times left me on the verge of a breakdown. I have been achieving A+ on the whole, but lowest grade has been an A- so I am fucking proud of myself. Over and above 1st class marks.

I want to celebrate by going on the holiday of a lifetime. Only been out of Europe twice in my life. Me and my partner have only been on one holiday (to Tenerife) in out 5 years together. Do I would love to all go to somewhere further (maybe Caribbean, Australia, East Asia). A family member told me that I am selfish as it's me that wants to go long haul and 'there is nothing for children in the Caribbean.' My 2 and 4 year old are full on outdoor lovers so I honestly can't see how Tenerife is more child friendly that other places. Give them a pool and a beach and they are loving it. Also SIL will be coming too.

So am I being incredibly naive and/or selfish for considering taking my children on a long haul trip?

OP posts:

IHeartKingThistle · 12/04/2017 03:24

Of course not!

Original poster

choccywoccywoowah · 12/04/2017 03:28

I wouldn't usually doubt myself but another family member agreed with the selfishness sentiment in that it's too much travelling for young children.

OP posts:

GrinAndTonic · 12/04/2017 03:29

Of course not. Lots of people travel with young children.
I would say the main thing to be concerned about are the flights and how you and the DC's will cope on them.
My grandparents decided to start travelling when they were in their 50's and 70's (big age gap) and took me with them from age four.
Travel is good for you.

Dogsandbabies · 12/04/2017 03:36

I asked the same question and got mixed responses. I took the risk and flew with my 4 year old to the US for a 6 week road trip. We loved it! It was a great holiday and she saw and learnt so much. Everyone told me she would be bored of the road trip and that I am selfish. They were so wrong. We enjoyed our time together, relaxed and made everyone else jealous with our great stories and fun adventures. You know your kids best so trust your own judgement.

Original poster

choccywoccywoowah · 12/04/2017 03:44

It's just confusing as Tenerife is up to 4.5 hours flight, so not exactly short. Average flight time to Caribbean is 8ish hours so not a huge amount of time more.

What a funny world we live in when a parent is accused of being selfish for wanting to take their children on holiday to the Carribean. I also don't see what is inherently child friendly about the likes of Tenerife.

OP posts:

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent · 12/04/2017 03:50

I would feel verry sorry for the other passenges if DC begin to get bored. .. which given they can't take an iPad on board to watch movies is now a certainty.

KingIrving · 12/04/2017 03:51

I would go to either the Caribbean . I had one of the best holiday ever with DS1 when he was 9month in Santo Domingo and we stayed at the Barcelo Bavaro. Water nice, calm and warm. And it is not too far. Don't go to Guadeloupe or Martinique or Curacao. Jamaica, Santo Domingo or even the Isla Margherita are way prettier.
Second choice would be Thailand or Bali, again lovely warm water (avoid Semyniak in Bali, sea too strong and rough).
Or Maldives, and jump from the bedroom into the lovely warm sea.

I live in Australia, and the trip is very long, even with the entertainment system. And the water here (Sydney) is freezing most of the year. And Australia is very expensive and there aren't that many beach hotels . The weather is sometimes crazy and we just had the wettest March in half a century. Can be very hot one day and you are at the beach in bikini (last Sunday) and on Monday, jeans, wool jumper and jacket for a walk on the beach front at 5pm.

I have been 20+ times to Tenerife from when we were living in Spain. You are not selfish, kids don't need a structured entertainment. Water, sand and palm branch will be the best fun ever

esk1mo · 12/04/2017 03:55

my DP went to various islands in the Caribbean as a child along with his younger brother. he loved it, even the flights were fun (movies etc). you can get smaller planes to smaller islands too from the main islands. his family would rent a villa with private pool too so lots of fun. his maternal side are all from the caribbean though so more of a reason for them to go, but he still talks about his holidays there to this day.

he also went to disneyland many times and never mentions that!

Original poster

choccywoccywoowah · 12/04/2017 03:55

At the end of the flight to Tenerife, I had 4+ passengers come up to me to comment on how good DC had been (not bragging...well ok I am a little bit as it was so lovely to hear such comments). I downloaded cartoons on two different mobile phones, and had an assortment of snacks, crayons, books, small board games etc to ease boredom. I also wrapped little gifts such as felt tips, little toys etc for them to open at various intervals. Plus, I opted for night time flights so they were asleep for the majority of the trip. I feel completely confident in controlling my children sufficiently so that they will not disturb other passengers.

OP posts:

GrinAndTonic · 12/04/2017 03:58

There is more to Australia then Sydney.
If you want beaches then try the Gold Coast, if you want rainforests then go to Cairns, if you want to art and culture then go to Melbourne and if you want the outback then go inland.

I agree about Seminyak, it's full of drunk Australians and is very touristy. Ubud is much nicer and quieter.

Thailand is lovely. If you go in September it's the low season and the weather is not too hot and the rain is minimal.

Original poster

choccywoccywoowah · 12/04/2017 04:00

I have no idea on where to go to be honest. I just know that I want to go somewhere amazing, and completely different to Europe. I went on just one holiday to Spain as a child (age 2) so I want my DC to experience much more than me.

OP posts:

sofato5miles · 12/04/2017 04:11

Sri lanka? We had an amazing time when our littles were 4 and 5.

emmyrose2000 · 12/04/2017 05:35

The family member sounds jealous, TBH. I bet they'd love nothing more than to be jetting off somewhere themselves and are jealous that your kids will have that wonderful opportunity.

Travel is wonderful for children (and adults!). DC1 had his first long haul trip at 17 months. He slept most for most of the flights, and thankfully that has pretty much been my DCs' MO for all travel since then.

My kids love travelling and seeing new countries/cities and I think that's stemmed from being able to do so from young ages.

ChangingStates · 12/04/2017 05:47

Go for it! Took my eldest to Gambia when she was 2, Jamaica when she was 3, then Thailand when youngest was 1.5 and eldest 4, since then have also been to India and Indonesia. We don't like all inclusive so all of these have been a mix of beach huts, home stays, small hotels etc and often travelling to 2 or 3 different places within the country. All of the holidays have been amazing and my kids have really loved them. Book and enjoy!

BoomBoomsCousin · 12/04/2017 05:54

All holidays are selfish in many ways. Especially ones that involve flying. Having a toddler on board isn't more selfish unless you are expecting strangers to do childcare.

It's not at all unreasonable to go. I found holidays abroad a bit of a drag with kids until they were about 6/7 - they didn't seem to get more out of it (compared to a holiday in the UK) and I didn't feel I could really appreciate the location. But you seem to have managed Tenerife so I assume you know you'll have a good time. Enjoy yourself planning and talking about it loudly and in great detail in front of family member !

SallyGinnamon · 12/04/2017 05:56

If you know your DD is ok in the heat that's fine.

In contrast to the positive stories above it was awful with DS when he was 2 and 3. He couldn't deal with the heat so we spent most of the time in an air conditioned hotel room. He also fell ill so we ended up having to track down doctors both times.

He was never ill in blooming UK hols with the NHS available!

imip · 12/04/2017 05:59

Oh dear God - not selfish at all! I'm about to embark on a 10.5 he flight tomorrow with a 10, 8, 7 and 5 yo. They travel pretty well. Our family live half a world away and we've had to do 24 hr flights a number if times. I don't really dread the flight, they behave pretty well - I just dread the jet lag. We usually need to sort out the dcs sleep routine before our own.

smellsofelderberries · 12/04/2017 06:02

HUGE congratulations!! Don't listen to anyone else, book your holiday, it sounds very well deserved! We go long haul at least once a year. I'm Australian, DH is British, that's just the way our life is.

imip · 12/04/2017 06:02

Oh, we've just been to LA, Las Vegas and Arizona. I have to say, Arizona was amazing. I had no preconceptions about it, I was focussed on my dsis wedding in LV, but Arizona was amazing. Deserts and canyons - cool!

Gennz · 12/04/2017 07:56

Of course YANBU. We live in NZ O just about everywhere is a long haul flight away. Took DS (then 20 months) to the UK & Italy last year and had such a great time we're going back this year. It was fine (we do a 1 night stopover in Singapore which helps). Do it! Australia is fab (so is NZ!!) and congratulations

Donthate · 12/04/2017 08:04

Best holiday I have ever been on was to Bali. My DC loved it. I haven't been to the Caribbean islands but have been to Mexico, that was fab too but we did lots of travelling and was pre DC.

Go where you want and have a great time. You deserve it!

eurochick · 12/04/2017 08:08

You can take tablets on the vast majority of flights. The laptop ban is fairly limited.

needsahalo · 12/04/2017 08:10

I was a long-hauler in a pre-children life. I would take them long-haul now if I intended to do something other than beach/pool and a couple of days out. Otherwise, I don't see why you need to travel the further distance when good weather is pretty much a dead cert in Spain/Greece/Portugal/Italy etc. in the summer months (and it's hurricane season in the Caribbean!).

2014newme · 12/04/2017 08:11

No yanbu.
Mauritius is good fir kids and cheaper than the Caribbean. I love the Caribbean but it's so hot hot hot you'll be spending a lot of time cooling tge kids off inside with aircon which isn't the best fun

edwinbear · 12/04/2017 08:14

We've always flown long haul for holidays. We've taken small children to the Maldives, Mexico, Dubai etc with no issues at all. There have always been plenty of other children on the flights too. There will be lots to do in The Caribbean assuming you choose a family friendly hotel, which I'm sure you intend to do.

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