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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP ate DD's sweets

92 replies

myusernameisnotmyusername · 10/04/2017 20:40

DD had some sweets given to her at nursery. We said she could have a few then put the rest away. DP has eaten almost all the rest. I think this is not very nice and he can't seem to see a problem. When I was a child we kept sweets and ate a few at a time and no one took them. AIBU to be pissed off with him?

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 10/04/2017 21:22

Has no one ever nicked an Easter Egg, and replaced it ?

No, never.

And I wonder how chilled out you would be if it was your stuff that was taken.

Just because they are children doesnt mean its ok to steal from them. Have some self control ffs.

OffRoader · 10/04/2017 21:23

I thought everyone did this Blush

My kids don't need most of the sweets they get, I'd rather they didn't eat them all. They'll get about 5 Easter eggs each next weekend (4 & 2) no way they'll be eating all of them.

Any child devastated because their parent pinched a few sweets from their party bag needs to learn a bit of resilience surely? It's just food Confused

Itaintme · 10/04/2017 21:23

I've never just taken my kids sweets ,Easter eggs or party bag tteats. They are not mine to take.

Rachel0Greep · 10/04/2017 21:25

I remember a thread on MN around the time that I joined about a man who couldn't allow a small child to enjoy whatever was their little treat, I think it was a yoghurt or something, without taking a huge spoon of it for his greedy self. It upset the child but of course that didn't matter to greedy guts. Hmm
YANBU OP. It's a horrible habit.

OffRoader · 10/04/2017 21:25

I also give their old toys to charity without their knowledge, so shoot me.

Itaintme · 10/04/2017 21:28

Next time you get that nice box of chocolates for your birthday don't moan when your kids scoff the lot without telling you.You have taught them its ok to do that.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 10/04/2017 21:28

Ha! I would do this. I would replace, I suppose, if I didn't think the child in question had had too many sweets lately.

lazyarse123 · 10/04/2017 21:32

Not quite the same, but when my daughter was about 3 she had an injection and i promised some chocolate buttons and then completely forgot. Two years late she asked me when she was getting the buttons. Memory like an elephant.

Ellieboolou27 · 10/04/2017 21:33

Pyong saintly parent Grin

jammyjay · 10/04/2017 21:36

I probably would have eaten them too but I'm nearly 6 months pregnant! Actually I would have eaten them anyway!
Sorry not helpful.

Itaintme · 10/04/2017 21:38

So what would you say if your DD asked where her sweets were?

Asuitablemum · 10/04/2017 21:39

It depends on why. I often say to my kids that they can have the rest of sweets another time and put them in the cupboard. They never remember, and as I don't want them to eat lots of sweets I don't remind them. We don't eat them either as no desire to. They just sit there until they're either thrown away or eventually used for a treat or something. So he may just think it's better for her if I eat them and she won't remember. If kids were older/would remember or bought them themselves then it's different.

PyongyangKipperbang · 10/04/2017 21:39

Pyong saintly parent

Says who?

No, just the kid who had this done too often to forget the crushing disappointment of being told to "save" some chocolate or whatever and then going back the next to day to no chocolate and a vague promise of it being replaced which, if it was, was never with whatever I had to start with but some cheap crappy stuff instead.

That kind of stuff stays with you. Its not the chocolate, its the fact that your parent cares more about their own wants than your feelings or possessions.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 10/04/2017 21:40

Taking things from kids isn't ok, is it.

Greedy twat ex would also help himself if I got a box of chocolates for my birthday. Obviously I would have been happy to share.. But when I'd found the box 90% empty a few days later, he couldn't understand the problem. "I'll buy you a new box". Not the fucking point, mate. He'd eat loads of the kids easter eggs and Christmas chocolate, and they did notice.

Its just a shitty message, isn't it.

Different if you've got an Easter egg for your kid, and replace it before you've given it to them I suppose?

Whatsername17 · 10/04/2017 21:41

My dh does this. Dd is 5 now and told him off herself the other day which I actually think shamed him a bit because he replaced what he'd ate. Dd has a treat box as the grandparents are ott with buying sweets. I don't have an issue with him pinching one or two as there is generally more sweets than dd will eat, but it pisses me off when he clears the box out. The stupid thing is, we've raised a polite and kind kid; she'd happily share if he asked. I've already given him the Easter Egg warning. When dd was 9 months old she was given 11 Easter Eggs from family. DH and I both ate them that year as she was way too little. DH seems to think that set a precedent! It will take dd several months to eat the ridiculous hall she will get this year but she understands ownership now so dh will have to get a grip. This year he will get to eat dd2s eggs though as she is 11 weeks old and his family have insisted on buying her chocolate HmmConfused.

angelikacpickles · 10/04/2017 21:48

We do this all the time. I don't get the outrage, My kids get far more sweets than I would ever want them to eat (and they eat plenty!) I wouldn't eat them the day they get them, but they get put away and then weeks or months later DH or I might eat them.

Crumbs1 · 10/04/2017 21:48

Your still keeping score of a few marshmallows from a long time ago? Is there an issue with forgiveness here?

Violetcharlotte · 10/04/2017 21:50

My Dad used to do this all the time! It's only a packet of sweets. I'm sure she gets plenty.

Ellieboolou27 · 10/04/2017 22:11

pyong my mum used to eat the ears off my chocolate bunny almost every year until I started secondary school Shock
I don't need therapy for it Smile, it sounds like in your case it was s bit more to it than the pinching sweets.

Op show all the responses to him and I'm sure he'll be deterred next time or replace the sweets Grin

BrutusMcDogface · 10/04/2017 22:14

I think as my kids get older and start to understand ownership (as described by a pp) and don't forget what treats they've been given, it'll be different, and we won't eat their stuff, because it's a very good point that we should try and teach them to save things for later. I'm not too good at that, myself Blush

My dp ate some of my dd's Christmas chocolate and thinking about it, she was upset, despite it being replaced...I told him off at the time but hope it doesn't show her she doesn't "matter"; she knows she does as she is told and shown on a daily basis. I'm pretty sure she's secure and feels valued and loved.

mummarichardson · 10/04/2017 22:18

Just chalk it up to a big fat life lesson 'sometimes you have to share and you don't always get what you want/expect.'

DisneyMillie · 10/04/2017 22:36

Don't get the big deal unless she never generally gets sweets or it's something very special. It's all just food here.

Dd seems to accumulate masses (school / Easter / xmas / Halloween / parties etc etc) - all just go in a drawer - which she can get something from if she asks. She rarely does. If I fancy something I'll eat it and she wouldn't care at all. We throw an awful lot out every so often and I'll give it to other children if they're over to play and want a treat.

(Our stuff goes in there too - I equally wouldn't care if she eats mine).

We're not very possessive of any of our things though in our family - we'd all share anything.

mummarichardson · 10/04/2017 22:38

It amazes me the level of incredulity about this when there are kids in the world who don't even get a meal everyday... he took some of her sweets, she's 4, get over it.

PyongyangKipperbang · 10/04/2017 22:39

Just chalk it up to a big fat life lesson 'sometimes you have to share and you don't always get what you want/expect.'

That isnt the life lesson at all.

The lesson is 'Dont leave any treat to save for later because your greedy father may help himself as he is selfish and doesnt care that its yours' Not a life lesson any child should have to learn imo.

TheCakes · 10/04/2017 22:39

Loving the outrage on this thread 😂