To think it takes a special kind of arsehole to fuck up wheelchair access?

[CatThiefKeith]

Apologies in advance for the rant, but I've had a particularly bad couple of days with arsehole parkers.

Yesterday I took a lady who has a history of strokes and heart attacks to hospital, where she got some fairly bad news. Our local hospitals disabled bays have one yellow box between every two spaces, and you drive or reverse in, depending which side the wheelchair user needs to get out.

Got back to the car with a very emotional lady to find some Arsehat had parked right over the box on my passenger side, leaving a 4ft gap next to his car where there was no box. Had to leave lady halfway down the car park, pull my car out with the hazards on, get her, get her in, reverse back into my space, then take the wheelchair back to customer services. Wanker.

And now today have taken a different lady to a mobility aids clinic and some utter twat has used the dropped kerb/wheelchair access as a fucking parking space. Both of these fuckers had a blue badge themselves btw.

To top it all off this afternoon took my favourite sweary nonagenarian for afternoon tea in the village and 3 fuckwits had parked over drop kerbs or across pavements. Tossers.

I think all new drivers should have to volunteer to take wheelchair users out and about before getting their license, just so they can see what a monumental pain in the arse it is when ramps are blocked. AIBU?

I just cant see the difference between 2 people who both NEED to use th bathroom because they may wet themselves/poo themselves. Its basic human compassion to me, label or not.

People can have illnesses without being registered disabled. My friend with a the gut condition isnt registered disabled.

Someone who's on crutches would struggle in the ladies in my local pub. Ive seen them use the disabled loo.

I can only speak for myself but theres no way that id use a disabled loo. If somebody has a need to use a disabled loo in that moment then I trust them using it because they need to.

Dustbin day is a special kind of frustrating, even with a floppy, grabby, autistic 7yo in a Mac major. I ended up complaining to the council about that one.

Also complained to various stores, m&s included about the shite they put in the middle of aisles, particularly when it's towers of pink bubbly and champagne glasses. Utter nightmare.

There is no such thing as "registered" disabled.

But the difference is the length of time in which you are affected.

When there are adequate facilities for all disabled people, when people can be trusted to think of others, when people can go shopping without having to go home again because someone has been selfish and used a blue badge space cause it's raining, or think not to park over a dropped curb, or don't pop in the accessible toilet because it's closer, I will happily share the facilities provided for me in law with people who need them temporarily.

My friend had to register or something and go through all kinds of crap at her workplace over it to prove she has an issue and they need adjustments. It was a paperwork nightmare gathering her evidence etc. Still in progress and no closer to getting resolved.

I dont dispute that there needs to be better disabled facilities.
But i cant get over the idea that you'd happily deny somebody who has a temporary need form using them just because other take the mick and the system isnt ideal.
If someone has a temporary need, they have a need. I work in a school and students are allowed to use the disabled toilets around school if theres a temporary need (get a pass because we know which kids are alwayd allowed access). Its much kinder than making them walk across to their year group area.

A temporary need (say someone with two broken legs who physically cannot use a regular toilet) is not the same as a temporary want though (wanting to use the disabled toilet because you are embarrassed that you have a stomach bug). The person with a stomach bug does not need accessible facilities, nor do they have a long term disability that would make such provision a reasonable adjustment.

maisy can you really not tell the difference between someone having to experience a one of episode of humiliation due to a temporary illness and someone facing it day in day out for their whole lives?

I might shit myself once in the queue for the loos...better that than me and everyone like me, decides they should use the disabled access loo and hence force someone else to shit themselves in public continually.

It might only be you once. But if you add up everyone who has had a stomach upset in their lives it means there is almost always going to be someone clogging up the loo ahead of the people who actually need it every day.

Surely that isn't actually difficult to understand?

CatThiefKeith, I know it isn't the same but I had to do it every time I went out, well he did occasionally move his car but it was a lane that people used as a short cut so you would get people speeding down the lane and I would suddenly be there in the middle of the road with a double buggy, it was bloody dangerous.

My husband is disabled so I know how difficult it is and I don't think it has to be a competition. My kids were in a double buggy for a couple of years so it wasn't a short term problem.

BeyondUser24601, there did used to be Registered Disabled, my husband still has his card. Don't remember when it stopped.

I have one too granny, sorry my point was that it isn't a compulsory register and a disabled person isn't magically not disabled if they chose not to "register" their needs with adult services. As in, it's not registering in the same sense as registering a birth or a death, it's a social services thing

(Ah, I know what I mean, even if what I write gets a bit jumbled )

Afternoon all,

We've had a number of reports about posts on this thread which veer pretty close to being disablist.

We don't allow disablism – not only is it against our Talk Guidelines, we also think that such posts don't fit with Mumsnet's basic philosophy of support and advice for all parents.

Our This Is My Child campaign has lots of information about the ways that people can make life a bit easier for disabled children and their parents. Mumsnet's aim is to make lives easier – please do take a look, and think carefully when posting.

Many thanks

oh yes those people who park right behind you, even though it s o BLOODY CLEAR THAT YOU HAVE A LIFT AND A SIGN.
I have had to stand with dd in the pouring rain waiting for people to come back.
now days I advoid taking her out alone , but sometimes I have too. so it means Ihave to leave her to move the van, (not nice seeing she can't talk and is very vulnerable.)

by the way I just said if you can walk you have more options, it want a them and us thing sorry if it sounded that way.

can you really not tell the difference between someone having to experience a one of episode of humiliation due to a temporary illness and someone facing it day in day out for their whole lives?
Yes, I clearly can. I've never said it was in any way comparable.

What I have said is that if due to long term illness or short term illness people are about to poop themselves/wet themselves then I think either can use a free disabled toilet. Because not using it means soiling themselves. Illness or not, if you have to go now, you have to go now and you haven't got time to be squeezing past a queue to the front and then waiting for a cubicle.

If someone is going to be sick and the disabled toilet is free, should they just be sick in the queue waiting/be sick on their way to the non Disabled toilet or should they just be sick in the disabled toilet? Based on what people on here say, they should just vomit all over themselves lest somebody decide 'well throwing up was just temporary and using the a nearest loo is just so Inconsiderate'.

If the men's toilet has no baby changing, but the disabled loo does why shouldn't a guy use baby changing facilities? And in some cafes near me, the only baby changing is in the disabled loo. But hey, they shouldn't be used either because that's also crap. (I think separate family changing space should be available but it's not always possible).

nothing to do with 'who has a condition that lasts the longest, who suffers the most, who 'wins' some sizing up of need'. If there is a need, there is a need. It doesn't matter if it is long term or short term, A friend with cerebral palsy has let parents with vomiting children go in the disabled loo (shock horror!) before her on occasions because you know what, sure they're not disabled but their kid is wrenching and dribbling sick and the ladies loos are the other side of the department store and not next to the cafe.

Clearly some people on here think that people should suffer avoidable embarrassment and discomfort purely because "well some of us have a condition that's awful all the time". Good for you, let's not show compassion to anybody else because it's not as bad as x y z

Yep, I would never help someone out because I am arguing here that a person who has a choice should take the option that is not the accessible toilet. I am completely without compassion.

I'm a nasty, entitled, disabled person. Bad Beyond!

🙄

I don't doubt that there is a long way to go in terms of disability access etc. I've seen friends try and navigate the system and they've had appointments left right and centre.
I just can't get away from my basic view that if somebody has a need short or long term, then I wouldn't want them to be embarrassed, suffer or be humiliated just because I have an issue with the system as a whole.

I'm a nasty, entitled, disabled person.
I haven't said that!

What I have said is:
I have total sympathy for people affected with disability. I've watched my friends deal with all kinds of rubbish,
Short or long term need is a need in my eyes (to me it's not a comparison of who has it worst)
If the baby changing facilities are in the disabled loos, then there's no issue in my mind of people using them, especially when often there's no changing facilities in the men's toilets.
I can't get my head around wanting to watch somebody else suffer just because I think they've not got it as bad as the next person. My friend with a tube isn't probably as bad as somebody with a stoma bag. Somebody with the runs there's and then, isn't as bad as somebody with a digestive issue, but I wouldn't want any of them to suffer,

Gonna say it once more for luck.

Not wanting to ask if you can skip a queue because you have an upset stomach is not a need, not wanting to shit in a public toilet is not a need.

Thinking your right not to have to ask to skip a queue comes above people's life long disabilities is unbelievably arrogant and self serving.

That is the exact scenario you described upthread - not someone who couldn't get to the public toilet, not someone who is dribbling sick everywhere.

If you've got the runs and NEED to get to a loo fast then you aren't going to stop and get past everyone and hope there's a cubicle free soon. That's my point. Sometimes when you have a bug, it is a need to go. It's not a want.
Last time i had diohera i was legging it to the closet toilet in my house hoping to make it in time.

If it's just feeling a bit meh and I might need to poop, then I'd be totally on your side with this. That's not enough of a reason.

"Friend of mine had just got over a sickness bug with the runs. She jumped up needinh the toilet badly, queue in the ladies so went to the disabled becasue it was better than pooping herself"

...

"I wouldnt want to have diahorea in a communal bathroom, least of all have to announce it to everyone as I queuejumped. How awkward and embarrassing"

Friend of mine had just got over a sickness bug with the runs. She jumped up needinh the toilet badly, queue in the ladies so went to the disabled becasue it was better than pooping herself

That's my example. My friend had been ill. She thought she was over it. She had part of her coffee and jumped up and legged it to the loo.
Yes. It was better than pooping herself.

If it was just that she was feeling a little rubbish then she wouldn't have done it, but her concern was getting to a toilet quickly to avoid soiling herself,
.

Your friend chose not to use the ladies because there was a queue.

Even if there is no queue, I cannot use the ladies.

Your friend is selfish and exactly the kind of person this thread is about, and you are arguing that they are right.

Yes, it would be awful. I wouldn't like it, but that would happen if the nearest free toilet was the ladies. E.g. 1 person in front, then It would be embarrassing to saybut preferable to pooping myself.

If the nearest free toilet wasn't the ladies or there was a large queue with no sign of a cubicle being free, then go to the nearest free toilet,

You just apologise and tell the people in the queue that you're sorry but you need to queue-jump. It isn't hard, I've done it myself in the past.

It is not, and never will be, an acceptable reason to choose the accessible toilet.

My friend chose not to use the ladies because she was about to poo herself with the runs so went to the nearest free toilet.
Should she have just had an accident waiting for one of the cubicles to become Vacant?

I'm in no way minimising your condition. I have friends who must use disabled loos. But none of the, would begrudge somebody with a sudden onset of the runs using the disabled loo if it was the nearest free cubicle.

Yanbu at all! I was out running this morning and the amount of drivers that park 3/4 onto the pavement is outrageous. I could barely squeeze past yet alone a wheelchair user, people would be forced to get around them by going into a very busy road. Fuckers don't care though because god forbid they may have to park a bit further away and walk!