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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have four large dogs in the home with my family?

314 replies

fallingdownasteepsteadyslope · 10/04/2017 18:40

We have 5 children. Wasn't particularly planned as we have two sets of twins. Our oldest two are 9, the middle child is 7 and the youngest two are 4. We have four large dogs (three are what we consider giant breed).
Our 7yr old has made friends with a new girl in the class. We invited her over for a playdate but new girl's mother is refusing to let her come due to our 'big beastly dogs'. She's seen all of them as we take them on dog walks. She then said I was irresponsible to 'have so many dogs and so many children because one of the children will get bit eventually'. It set me off thinking, if you saw me in the street, would you think I was ridiculously irresponsible and 'a inadequate mother'? BTW, this mother has four dogs of her own, three cockerpoos and a cav.

OP posts:
Evilstepmum01 · 11/04/2017 08:27

Op, I am desperate for a playdate at your house! Sod the judgemental twats, you have 4 of the gentlest breeds and you have control!
We have a large vizsla and we used to have a collie. People used to bodyswerve our pack because they are large energetic dogs. And vizzie was mistaken for a ridge back!
I used to say stop and speak, they're the softest dogs ever, fab with our kids. Don't judge until you've spoken to us!
YABU not to post pics of your beautiful pack tho! Grin

GloriaGilbert · 11/04/2017 08:56

I love all your dogs individually, but I think your house must be complete mayhem and if I were you I'd accept that it's not everyone's cup of tea.

BringMeTea · 11/04/2017 08:59

Pics or it didn't happen. Grin

DressMeUpInStitches · 11/04/2017 09:00

Erm user humans can be lovely and sweet but they too are also animals and capable of horrific things.
So maybe people should judge the dog by their owners judgement?

Coffeetasteslikeshit · 11/04/2017 09:09

Your house sounds great OP. The other woman sounds a bit strange, if she's got 4 dogs herself surely she should be fairly relaxed about yours?

WaitrosePigeon · 11/04/2017 09:09

But anyway. Each to their own. I am sure you all love trying to get rid of pet hair every fekin day. Must be so rewarding.

I don't do that. My Yorkshire Terrier has hair, not fur. It doesn't shed Smile

MardAsSnails · 11/04/2017 09:10

Someone with 4 dogs can't judge you for having 4 dogs. Even if hers are rip off mongrels smaller breeds. I've said I'm not going above two again, but thats because i know my blood pressure can't cope with the stress of an additional mutt.

Refusing her daughter permission to come over is one thing. Comments like that are another altogether.

I'm a dog person, not a child person. To answer your actual question, if I saw you in the street with your entire clan, I'd assume you were babysitting and / or dog sitting. Then I'd laugh about the sheer quantity of shit you must deal with daily and be glad it wasn't me (3 large breed dogs is enough for me, never mind 3 giants and a large one!). And the food cost! DH wants a Great Dane to add to our pack. He can Fuck Off.

But I wouldn't judge. Unless you lived in a 2 up 2 down. Then I might judge a bit, then realise that maybe shit happens and it wasn't planned that way, and go back to being glad the shit and food costs weren't mine.

Oh and to those posters saying bigger breeds can cause more damage - you should have seen MILs leg from a Lhasa Apso deciding he didn't like her. 27 stitches. People assumed bull breed.

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 11/04/2017 09:14

Yes, of course Havana is entitled to her/his views, as we all are, but expressing these views on some threads can and has lead to some great upset.

ComputerUserNotTrained · 11/04/2017 09:28

I could see where the other mother is coming from; my observation is that many people who aren't that great at pet ownership don't recognise their limits and over-extend themselves. But she's got four herself Confused

I'm not saying op is an irresponsible owner - I have no idea.

ItsNachoCheese · 11/04/2017 09:28

havana odfod your getting tedious in your posts. Its like you want to be reported and banned. You have an opinion in that you dont like dogs which is fine but no need to get snippy with posters that do

TinfoilHattie · 11/04/2017 09:37

I saw a woman in the Tesco car park with three black Newfoundland dogs which are the size of a Shetland pony. They are massive animals. Appeared to be dopey as anything and very docile but still - huge. Unless they live in a castle or something I would raise eyebrows at three animals that size in the average house, even without kids.

I would be more concerned about the behaviour of your dogs rather than the number of them. Four well-behvaed and properly trained dogs is much better than one jumpy, snappy and bad tempered one.

Nanny0gg · 11/04/2017 09:54

if only people i.e humans managed to get the same respect as dogs/animals. That would be good wouldn't it?

You start with respect but actions can make you lose it.

See?

UppityHumpty · 11/04/2017 10:06

OP and the others who can't see the problem here are deluded. Ever been bitten by a St Bernard that was 'playing'? My brother was and is now scarred for life and has restricted leg movement.

You will end up ruining a child's life. It's perfectly acceptable for you to want to take that risk for your kids - but tbh I agree with the other mum. I would never let my kids play at a house with 1 large breed let alone 4.

SparklyPantaloons · 11/04/2017 10:10

I have a relative who keeps 5 giant breed dogs along with three children in a tiny three bed terrace. It's absolutely vile, stinks to high heaven. It's noisy and chaotic, dogs aren't trained etc. I shudder just thinking about it.

I'm sure yours are much better kept and better behaved, however I still wouldn't send my kid over to yours. She was really rude about it though, should have just politely declined.

SparklyPantaloons · 11/04/2017 10:12

Oh and I should add I absolutely love dogs myself! Would just be wary of a small child around 4 big woofers.

MardAsSnails · 11/04/2017 10:22

But Uppity, its fine for someone to not give permission for their children to play at someone's house due to the dogs. It's not ok to refer to 'beastly dogs' and calling her an irresponsible and inadequate mother, because she chooses to have big dogs.

There is also no will end up ruining a child's life. It's a possibility, not a certainty. And it's the other woman's right to not expose her children to that risk, but she is extremely unreasonable to be so judgemental and harsh to the OP - her attitude is atrocious.

My MIL suffered permanent scarring and still has a limp 18 months later from a small breed, and this was a dog she had been dog sitting for every week Day for 3 years. A child could have been much more seriously injured. It is not just giant breeds that can cause damage. But by your (and many other posters) thoughts, that dogs would be safe because it's small?

Where is the line between acceptably sized dogs and too big? The woman in question has 4 dogs herself, including 3 cockerpoos which aren't exactly small.

kali110 · 11/04/2017 10:26

Dogs do smell and make the owners home smelly too. People with dogs don't realise, but as soon as you walk into a home with dogs you can just tell as the smell is quite strong to those who haven't become accustomed to it.

Why do people always say this? I can't smell anything when i go to my friends house!

kali110 · 11/04/2017 10:27

MardAsSnails i have a scar from a dog too, it wasn't a large breed. I'm not going to say that they're all bad.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 11/04/2017 10:35

I have a relative who keeps 5 giant breed dogs along with three children in a tiny three bed terrace. It's absolutely vile, stinks to high heaven. It's noisy and chaotic, dogs aren't trained etc. I shudder just thinking about it

Keeping a large amount of animals in a small house is a ridiculous idea, and potentially dangerous. But OP has already said that they live in a large house with lots of outside space so it's not the same.

UnbornMortificado · 11/04/2017 10:35

In 12 years of medium/big dog and child ownership, I have had one mishap.

Not a serious one but still my fault as I was supervising. DD1 age two had took fo following old boy about. In the blink of an eye (I was in the room, sat next to them) she stuck her finger up oldboys bum.

The poor boy just looked shocked, he didn't react but I wouldn't blame any dog to react to that. I think most humans would react tbh. It was me and fault and I hold my hands up to that. But I agree with PP who said it's a case of not putting dogs in that situation with children who might hurt them

Since that incidence, I started being more vigilant and DD's are 11 and 4 and have been brought up to respect animals.

Dragongirl10 · 11/04/2017 11:02

Op..that lady was incredibly rude and l think you should be very glad she is not bringing her daughter!

If people don't like dogs fair enough, politely decline..

If it was my DD l would want to meet you a couple of times at home, before dropping her off for a playdate, as l would with any other parent.

Some people are rather extreme in their reaction to family dogs, as this conversation clearly shows, but that is no excuse for being so rude to you. You clearly have the space, time, knowledge and commitment to have 4 large dogs at home.

I have a large friendly Vizla, some of DCs friends are very nervous and a few parents will not let their DCs come to play, but have only ever been polite about it.

Personally l think all parents should visit the homes they let their Dcs go to for all sorts of reasons ...the dogs being only one concern!

YellowBlinds · 11/04/2017 11:17

Men, I personally think its more irresponsible to have 5 children than 4 dogs.

DressMeUpInStitches · 11/04/2017 11:22

Aren't most fatal dog attacks seen in the news from medium/small dogs like staffies?

Whenever I see a dog attack in the news I can put money on it that it won't be a large breed dog.

Reactivedog · 11/04/2017 11:25

The NSPCC says that one child every week dies at the hands of a human in the UK.

Reactivedog · 11/04/2017 11:27

The stats for dogs are about one a year but so low that the ONS doesn't classify them separately.