To have four large dogs in the home with my family?

[fallingdownasteepsteadyslope]

We have 5 children. Wasn't particularly planned as we have two sets of twins. Our oldest two are 9, the middle child is 7 and the youngest two are 4. We have four large dogs (three are what we consider giant breed).
Our 7yr old has made friends with a new girl in the class. We invited her over for a playdate but new girl's mother is refusing to let her come due to our 'big beastly dogs'. She's seen all of them as we take them on dog walks. She then said I was irresponsible to 'have so many dogs and so many children because one of the children will get bit eventually'. It set me off thinking, if you saw me in the street, would you think I was ridiculously irresponsible and 'a inadequate mother'? BTW, this mother has four dogs of her own, three cockerpoos and a cav.

Can I come and play round your house?! Your dogs sound awesome!

"Genuine question: why do you keep such big dogs? Is it a protection thing? What do you like about them?"

With that mix of breeds? Lol, not likely...2 of those are likely to sleep through a break in, the other 2 might helpfully point out where the good stuff is. They're not exactly guarding breeds.

You have a large house and lots of space. That is fine then. I have been in ordinary sized houses with lots of dogs and children, and they are chaotic as there simply isn't enough space for everyone.

I wouldn't want to go to a house with huge smelly dogs never mind send my child, why would you want so many huge dogs?

The parent may be scared of dogs. Or the child may be scared of dogs. My youngest would be overwhelmed by so many dogs (even though we have a giant breed myself!) She would only be happy if she could meet the dogs in a controlled way and play away from them.

I wouldn't think you were irresponsible Or an adequate parent, but I wouldn't let my children go to your house to play. I'm wary of large dogs and I wouldn't choose to put my children in that situation.

She's being completely unreasonable, bearing in mind she has 4 dogs of her own! Size of dog isn't really indicative of likelihood to bite and, while I'm no expert, I would think from their breeds that yours are likely to be gentle giants. My grandmother's yorkie, on the other hand, vicious little sod...

My dad would have sent me on the play date, insisted he need to stay and then spent the entire time playing with the dogs
It's not like you've got 4 trained snarling guard dogs

I just had to google otterhound-gorgeous!

Some people don't like dogs that much.
If you have lots of space and they get enough exercise it's fine. You're not being irresponsible.

If she didn't have four dogs herself, I could understand her being uncomfortable setting her child to a house with a lot of dogs. That wouldn't make her comments okay, but some people are rightfully nervous of dogs.

But given that she has 4 dogs of her own, she sounds a total idiot.

And i would trust yours over here any day

Please can I come for a play date? Those are fabulous breeds! And YABU for not including pictures.

They do live indoors yes. The reason we have them is because we love them. We have more than enough room, can afford them and adore them. I would agree @WaitrosePigeon but for that very reason, our vet asks us to come in every month for a general peace of mind, physical and mental check (He's lovely!). It will sound like I'm boasting but our dogs are beautifully trained. We've spent a lot of time and money on training them because I've known from the very start that people would have apprehensions due to their size. I suppose I keep such big dogs because I see them as 'proper' dogs (no offence intended) as I was brought up with three Great Danes.
We got our greyhound as our first dog and she is the most gorgeous lovely dog ever but I still had the urge for something a bit bigger that would like walking for a bit longer. Our Otterhound and Old English Sheepdog are wonderful for this and I jog and run with them every day. Our St Bernard was a DH dog and as I had chief choosing over our Otterhound and Old English Sheepdog's breed, he decided it was his turn.

How ignorant and hypocritical of her when she has 4 dogs of her own. I'm struggling with the rational that your larger dogs are more likely to bite someone than her 4 small dogs.. do only large dogs bite then? I think that's what I would be asking! In my experience the larger the dog the more docile they tend to be.. stupid women!

It's your business how many children and dogs you have. (You definitely seem to have your hands full, though, op!)

But if you are having someone else's child round then you must be very cautious.

When my DD(7)'s friends come round I lock our dog away. (She's only small - a bichon cross). But not all children like dogs and especially if they're not used to dogs, they could react badly and hit out at the dog or pull their fur etc. So you're better safe than sorry.

So if you are planning on allowing 4 big dogs around someone else's child then uabu but if you lock them away when you have visitors then uanbu.

I'd send my children, no problem.
She was completely unreasonable to refer to your dogs as 'beastly' and sounds completely ignorant to me!

All mumsnetters are welcome! Honestly, if she'd have asked to come round and meet the dogs first I'd have welcomed her with open arms.
As @tabulahrasa says they aren't exactly known for being wonderful guard dogs and I've known an incredibly vicious Westie. I understand being overwhelmed but if she'd even have asked to have the dogs out of the house, then I'd have been fine and sent the older girls down to the lake with them.

Yep @nineanimals hands full indeed but I love it.

The parent clearly isn't scared of dogs as some are saying if she has 4 herself "Cockerpoos" aren't even small... So she is being hypocritical to be unpleasant or accusatory.

However she knows her dogs and doesn't know yours. Although your big dogs are breeds that get good press any dog can turn if it feels threatened or overwhelmed or whatever and she doesn't know what the atmosphere in your house is like. I don't know about St Bernards but young old English sheepdog (and I assume Otterhounds though I've never seen one) can be exuberant and a handful, and greyhounds can be anxious and aren't reputed to do well in busy, noisy, lively, unpredictable households - as ones with 5 young children in them tend to be be.

I think the woman who called them big beastly dogs was rude, and I am sure they are lovely, fluffy little puffalumps, but I'm sorry, I would not allow a six year old infant child of mine to go to a house where there were 4 big dogs. (Or even medium sized dogs.)

She was rude, but I agree with her 100%. And unless you have a 20 room farmhouse - style home, with a couple of acres of land, then you shouldn't have 4 huge dogs IMO. I find it terrifying that some posters are calling them 'gentle giants' and are saying 'your house sounds awesome can I come?' and that they would totally allow their tiny child in a strange house with 4 big dogs.

I think some people are allowing their love for animals, to colour their reasoning. As I said, no way in hell would I allow my infant child to go a house with 4 big dogs, no matter how 'soft' and 'gentle' they are.

If the dogs decided to turn on the child, you would not be able to stop them, before the child was severely hurt - or killed, no matter how much you think you can control them.

YABU.

And yes regards westies! I got bitten very badly on my hand about 3 mths ago by a westie.. far more vicious and scary than the 2 huge (huge) Great Danes I regularly come into contact with..

Old English Sheepdogs are mostly just fluff anyway. When they get clipped down they aren't much bigger than a lab or something. We have one in the family and she is fabulous.

I would really like one myself but the puppies aren't easy to come by. Good on you for going for endangered breeds.

I'm so jealous, OP. I just love otterhounds, and would love to have space for one.

This woman's a buffoon, and knows fuck all about dogs. Greyhounds are renowned for their gentleness (well, gentle with everything but small furry creatures). At Discover Dogs one year, a huge otterhound played really nicely with my tiny lakeland puppy, and every OH I've met has been really soft and sweet. St Bernards are soppy too, and OES are perfectly nice if they get enough exercise and stimulation.

Her cav's more likely to be a danger to children than your dogs, especially if it's got that bloody awful syringomyelia that so many CKCS are prone too.

I so want an otterhound. I may have look at pics online now to console myself.

What if she had 4 little dogs? Because I'm sure a child has been killed by a terrier before
Breed is not the issue. Genetics - breed bad to bad and you'll get shit. So if you're breeding two good dogs, and then you've got the nurture so environment bit and training
I grew up with the softest red setter who helped me when learning to walk, and a GSD who was massively protective of me as a child
Dogs that are over fed, badly bred, under exercised are likely to snap, especially if they have no space to get away. It's like having a toddler on your leg 24/7 going nag nag nag and eventually you snap. That's a lot of the reason why dogs snap and why crate training is a good thing
Being large doesn't inherently mean likely to cause more damage - I've seen jack Russell's attack and it's nasty