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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have four large dogs in the home with my family?

314 replies

fallingdownasteepsteadyslope · 10/04/2017 18:40

We have 5 children. Wasn't particularly planned as we have two sets of twins. Our oldest two are 9, the middle child is 7 and the youngest two are 4. We have four large dogs (three are what we consider giant breed).
Our 7yr old has made friends with a new girl in the class. We invited her over for a playdate but new girl's mother is refusing to let her come due to our 'big beastly dogs'. She's seen all of them as we take them on dog walks. She then said I was irresponsible to 'have so many dogs and so many children because one of the children will get bit eventually'. It set me off thinking, if you saw me in the street, would you think I was ridiculously irresponsible and 'a inadequate mother'? BTW, this mother has four dogs of her own, three cockerpoos and a cav.

OP posts:
brasty · 10/04/2017 18:42

Unless you have an enormous house, then yes 4 dogs is too much in an ordinary sized house.

user1487854472 · 10/04/2017 18:42

Absolutely not. If they're all well cared for then I see no problem?!

kimnews · 10/04/2017 18:43

What a judgemental cow that woman is, I bet her dogs are more likely to bite than yours.

Vegansnake · 10/04/2017 18:43

What sort of dogs are they...missing my dog☹️

Pollydonia · 10/04/2017 18:44

Ooh, I love dogs, what have you got? < misses point of thread entirely >

LovingLola · 10/04/2017 18:44

What sort of house and garden space do you have?

Theresomethingaboutdairy · 10/04/2017 18:46

Do you have a big enough house?

Cakescakescakes · 10/04/2017 18:46

I'd be terrified of one large dog let alone 4 of them so can understand the other mum's point of view. Not that you are a bad parent etc but just that I would be really uncomfortable as I'm not a dog person at all. (Was badly bitten as a young child by a neighbours dog and am really nervous around them now especially large ones.)

BlueKarou · 10/04/2017 18:47

YANBU. What a nasty judgemental woman. As long as your dogs are all fed, exercised and otherwise well looked after then you're doing no wrong.

Now we need to know their breeds at the least, pics would be better! Wink

Original poster
fallingdownasteepsteadyslope · 10/04/2017 18:47

We have a rather large country house. We live in the country so they have lots room to roam about or I'd never have got them!
We have a rescue greyhound who was dumped as a puppy for being black as she was the wrong colour or something along those lines!
We have a Otterhound, a St Bernard and an Old English Sheepdog. She was genuinely vicious about it and looked down at me. I felt about 3!

OP posts:
IsangforLadyArcher · 10/04/2017 18:48

Tell her it's bitten not bit

Original poster
fallingdownasteepsteadyslope · 10/04/2017 18:49

Haha @IsangforLadyArcher!

OP posts:
snarferson · 10/04/2017 18:50

YANBU. Otterhound Smile

WaitrosePigeon · 10/04/2017 18:50

I would think there's no way you could avoid a fatal attack if they decided to turn.

raisinsofwrath · 10/04/2017 18:50

I wouldn't let my 6yo go to a house where there's 4 giant dogs. And I would wonder why on earth somebody would want so many children and animals.

fourteenlittleducks · 10/04/2017 18:51

Depends why you have them. If you live on a farm or estate and need gaurd dogs, fair enough.

Do they live indoors or in a yard/kennel?

In a normal size house I would think it's unhygenic to have 4 big dogs. And a potential hazard to children. What if one turned on a child? No dog is completely trustworthy.

I wouldn't let my DC go to a house with large dogs, unless the dogs were crated or had a secure enclosure.

Genuine question: why do you keep such big dogs? Is it a protection thing? What do you like about them?

Bluntness100 · 10/04/2017 18:51

Oh they sound lovely can I come to your house? Not seeing the issue, she is clearly a twat. A St. Bernard and an old English sheepdog! So jealous,,

5moreminutes · 10/04/2017 18:52

I wouldn't think anything special about you having your own children and your own dogs but I would be more wary of sending my 7 year old to play at yours without having been in for coffee myself than if you didn't have so many dogs.

I do wonder why people need a lot of dogs, rather than one or two, unless subsequent ones have been unplanned rescues from family or friends who had a change of circumstances and couldn't keep them, especially where the dogs can't all be walked together calmly and under control - if I'd seen you on dog walks and your giant breed dogs weren't impeccably trained I wouldn't want to send a small child of mine to your house unless I'd been in for a while and could see you had everything under control.

I know people who can't control one dog and one kid yet have both, and indeed that dog has bitten children and adults - not abig dog, just a half trained one which rules the roost and means more to it's owner than the child; I wouldn't let my smallish child go there for tea either.

The other child's mother should not have said "beastly" as that is emotive (and also sounds like Hyacinth Bucket) but she can't be blamed for not making g the leap of faith involved in sending her small child to your house without having been inside to see that you have the dogs fully under control at all times and never left alone with the children (or rather guest children).

tabulahrasa · 10/04/2017 18:52

It's not irresponsible at all as long as you're looking after everyone as they need to be (dogs and DC).

Pardonwhat · 10/04/2017 18:52

YANBU. We once had 5 dogs - no one else's businesses as long as they're all well taken care of.

stitchglitched · 10/04/2017 18:53

I wouldn't be sending my child to a house with 4 large dogs either. With so many dogs and kids I would imagine it being too chaotic to supervise properly. But she should have just declined politely instead of being so rude.

Stripeyblanket · 10/04/2017 18:53

I wouldn't think you were a bad parent. I'd be concerned about it as they are so large but I'd probably come and talk to you about your dogs and just ask that my child is not left alone with the dogs at any point.
I love dogs. I'd never leave my LB alone with my dog (recently had to have her put down due to a massive medical episode). Loved her to bits. She was a birthday present when I was 22. I still would never trust her with any child despite how gentle she was.

Bluntness100 · 10/04/2017 18:54

I'd totally send my six year old to yours if I had met you and were comfortable you were in control and I'd met the dogs and had a play and a cuddle

Nanny0gg · 10/04/2017 18:54

If you have the space and the time and the dogs are trained, what's the problem?

I assume you weren't going to throw the child in with them?

I used to have a friend with a jack russell. Vicious little beast wouldn't let anyone across the threshold.

ToadsforJustice · 10/04/2017 18:54

I don't blame the mother for not allowing her daughter over. You think of your dogs as part of your family, but to an outsider they may come across as terrifying- especially to a small girl.

I wouldn't trust my young DD with four unknown large dogs.