To have four large dogs in the home with my family?

[fallingdownasteepsteadyslope]

We have 5 children. Wasn't particularly planned as we have two sets of twins. Our oldest two are 9, the middle child is 7 and the youngest two are 4. We have four large dogs (three are what we consider giant breed).
Our 7yr old has made friends with a new girl in the class. We invited her over for a playdate but new girl's mother is refusing to let her come due to our 'big beastly dogs'. She's seen all of them as we take them on dog walks. She then said I was irresponsible to 'have so many dogs and so many children because one of the children will get bit eventually'. It set me off thinking, if you saw me in the street, would you think I was ridiculously irresponsible and 'a inadequate mother'? BTW, this mother has four dogs of her own, three cockerpoos and a cav.

Oh thanks Unborn. If MN ever wants a mascot I propose snufflehound! Always available for cuddles and a good lean!

X post falling. She's a massive sight hound so recall is a big deal!! You sound like a really responsible dog owner. Shame many people aren't.

@5moreminutes yep! We've had her since a puppy so she's been trained from the beginning.

I'd be less inclined to allow my kids round wee nippy dogs than giant ones. I had a couple of negative experiences as a child with small dogs so I tend to trust bigger dogs more. She sounds like a twat.

So many hairs, YUCK, and walkie needs.

Hairs and dog farts are horrible. Vets bills are probably more costly than childcare overall.

But each to their own. We all know what we can tolerate.

Oh get back at me for an opinion. Thanks.

@Wolfiefan how old is she and does she have a name? Lovely scruffy hound! Revealing myself a little bit but our Otterhound is Milo, the St Bernard is Finn, the OES is Molly & our grey is Olive.

I'd be terrified of one large dog let alone 4 of them so can understand the other mum's point of view. Not that you are a bad parent etc but just that I would be really uncomfortable as I'm not a dog person at all. (Was badly bitten as a young child by a neighbours dog and am really nervous around them now especially large ones.)

Comes onto a dog thread to comment

@fallingdownasteepsteadyslope
She's called Isla. She's 6 and a half months and my complete dream dog (check out my user name!) I bet she would love to play with yours! If I had land I would have three more! Not sure baby pup would want to share me though!

I don't think you're a bad parent or anything, but there's absolutely no way I'd allow my child on a play date at yours (or anywhere with you if you were planning on taking the dogs too), for their own safety.

The woman's a fool, so don't give it a moment's more thought.
5 kids and 4 dogs, sounds mental to me, but a blast too.
Methinks she's jealous of your ability to cope with all that and still be smiling / sane.

JustAnotherPoster00 And why shouldn't she? Are people only allowed on the thread if they agree with the OP now?

YANBU and to be honest I'm very jealous of you with your four beautiful dogs right now. I live in a 2 bed maisonette so I don't have enough room for more than my one cockapoo but I'd love to have more dogs, especially a big one.

I'd understand the mother being apprehensive if she had a fear of dogs, but there is absolutely no need for her nasty judging of you as a parent and even more so when she already has quite a few dogs herself, just because hers are a smaller breed does not make it any more or less acceptable

I wouldnt allow my dd at that age to go to a house with 4 dogs no matter what breed as shes not used to dogs. Id want to come around too (for a cuddle with said dogs). In time i might allow it but id need to trust you, her and the dogs. She need some training. (Shes 8 months at mo so only meet one dog so far). If dd was late teenager id give a different answer as id have got some dog training into her by then.

@fallingdownasteadysteepslope

Yes, sounds very similar. My 3 year old DD has just started junior handling one of my 5 year old adult bitches.... I have a 17 week old pup here who will be DDs to handle. She's starting with an adult, because otherwise it's the blind leading the blind!!

My brother was very badly bitten when young, by someone else's dog. I swore I would never put my children or dogs in that position, and hence I have been so careful with them over the years.

I show, breed (very occasionally!) and foster Salukis. I also foster anything long legged and sight houndy.

I wouldn't want a child of mine to be friends with someone being brought up by someone so judgemental!

Can I come and play with your dogs op?

fallingdown ok - that's pretty unusual though.

Just another poster it's not "a dog thread" it's AIBU? People who think the op is being unreasonable are just as free to say so as those who don't, and someone who has been bitten and is nervous of dogs has as legitimate a point to make as a dog lover who hasn't had a bad experience.

I think the woman was rude and hypocritical given she also has a large group of dogs, but I also think the people saying they'd happily send a child under 10 to a house full of 4 dogs and 5 children without going round for a coffee to suss out that the op really does have impeccably trained dogs and absolute control, keeping visiting children away from or closely supervised around the dogs, are either lying to try to jump on the dog lover bandwagon or are foolhardy.

The problem is that all dig owners say their dogs are gentle/ friendly,/ well trained/ fully under control - sometimes it's true, sometimes it isn't. Children between 5 and 9 are at absolutely peek age for being victims of dog attacks, so anyone not checking an owner and home with several dogs out to see how the land really lies before merrily agreeing to send a 7 year old there unsupervised would be an idiot.

As someone who has been told I'm a bad parent for having my two elderly greys and my 6 month old in the same house never left alone together obv, YANBU.
They are well trained, looked after, and you would have sent the dogs outside while the girl was there if she/her parents had wanted. As long as I had met your dogs to put my own mind at rest then I would have no problem bringing my DD round and letting her stay for a play date when she was older. Although you might have trouble getting rid of me .
I think the PP who said her dogs are probably poorly behaved and so she thinks that's how all dogs behave has hit the nail on the head.

Wolfie your dog is amazing

Superhero she really is!

I avoid people who don't have dogs - they're not to be trusted.

Don't let the horrible woman get to you OP - anyone who would pay money for designer mongrel like a cockapoo is a moron anyway.

I would imagine the rude woman knows that her dd is not well behaved around dogs, or that she allows her to over cuddle their own pets and knows the reaction dd receives from a stressed-out dog.
Speaks volumes about her own attitudes, really.

*I avoid people who don't have dogs - they're not to be trusted.

Don't let the horrible woman get to you OP - anyone who would pay money for designer mongrel like a cockapoo is a moron anyway.*

So people without dogs aren't to be trusted, but equally, people with dogs you disapprove of are morons.

What a pleasant person you are.

I mean... you could make the same argument about having "too many children". If 5 children is fine to someone, then 4 dogs should also be fine, but I assume this person just doesn't like dogs and it's got nothing to do with the number of them.

SpreadYourHappiness

Oh fuck off - anyone with half a brain can see the first part of my response was tongue in cheek. And quite frankly yes, people who pay a shit ton of money for a designer mongrel are morons.

Frillyhorseyknickers You have further proved my point.

FFS,

Either you like doggies or you don't

Each to their own.

But judgy Mumsnetters will always go for the doggies. Kids can wait, and who ends up sweeping/hoovering up the hairs? Yes that would be MUM

Don't know who will sort out the doggie smell in a house, that is so evident. YUCK.

Four dogs is unreal anyway. But this is a baiting thread I reckon. LOL