To think some people will treat you badly if they can

[onportland]

Sorry to sound cryptic.

So I am thinking some people will be super nice and charming and lovely but when given an opportunity to treat someone badly will take it. That being a bit of a bully is just irresistible for them?

Do you think this is right?

I mean, my husband isn't nice to me. Because I can't leave him (really can't) and I think he knows that so he is horrible (sometimes.)

No most people aren't like
That.

You need to leave him. There's no can't

I think you are absolutely right. There's nothing worse than those two faced people either. People think the sun shines out of their arse but you know differently....

I think everyone is horrible sometimes and treat others badly.

Some will blame it on their hormones/job/mood/tiredness, to try and justify it but basically it's down to them to see their behaviour doesn't affect others.

I'm not sure why you feel you can't leave your husband, but if he's treating you badly then yes, you really can.

I've never met anyone yet who couldn't, although obviously it can be very difficult.

Worth it though

I would like to think that I'm a nice person and would not ever be nasty to anyone without a damn good reason.

However some people just can't help themselves when they spot an opportunity.

Have you spoken to women's aid? If you have considered leaving then thats an obvious sign to you that something is wrong. Please get some advice in rl. Theres always a way to get out no matter how bleak it seems for you.

I think everyone says things that might upset or offend someone else, even if it's just that differing opinion or bluntness can be deemed by the receiver to be unkind. Being deliberately nasty is definitely a choice. Some people choose to do it more often than others. I do think some people get off on being nasty.

Hope you are ok op? If he's made you feel like you cannot leave regardless of how horrible is to you, then that's not s good place to be in. I hope someone who knows more about this can be along soon to help you

Thanks for nice posts

I guess I mean that someone who is confident and assertive and that sometimes tips into arrogance and then through circumstances ends up married to someone quite wimpy that arrogant streak can grow and grow until you're left with someone who is really a bit of a bully. I hope that makes sense as it does in my head

I think you are absolutely right OP, there are people like that who prey on 'nice' people. Your husband probably married you because maybe you are nice, compliant, thought you'd give him an easy life. But maybe he doesn't make your life so easy. Why do you think you can't leave?

Oh honestly it's so complex and I don't think I'm a good person either as I have no one.

Feel sick with worry Whatever I do is wrong.

I think you are spot on not everyone is like this.
But I see it with my DD she is 12 and for the past couple of years most girls in her class are desperate to be popular and would do almost anything to achieve this. The way some (most) have behaved they can only be popular at someone else's expense. If they can exert power/influence behave badly to another child and one person supports them or doesn't condone their behaviour then they see themselves as more powerful and more popular. Other kids also seem buy into this and parents especially their mothers also seem to buy into this.
Re your husband don't give him the power look into it and get gone no you deserve better.

Yes, it's like it starts as something small and grows to be something so big it dominates their entire personality. I think this has happened with DH.

I'm so sorry you are feeling like this