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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think CMS should be paid from the day the baby is born?

63 replies

summerfling · 10/04/2017 16:26

& not the date they bloody contact the NRP.

This my friends, is more of a rant....I am seriously naused off, that my ex won't have to start paying for our son until he's at least 5 weeks old, who the bloody hell set these stupid rules!!

The only reason they won't contact him yet is because I'm awaiting a letter from child Benefit, something I obviously couldn't claim until DS arrived.

Pisses me off! The amount of stuff I've bought for DS since he arrived & ex is contributing to naff all, simply because some dick decided NRP's shouldn't have to pay until they are contacted!

Rant over, thanks for reading!

OP posts:
BCGRMDP · 10/04/2017 16:43

i had to wait an additional month because my ex had a case open with csa that my cms case forced the original to close. he wasnt liable until he was contacted after the 30 days it took. in short i applied jan 12th, he became liable march 6th and its april 11th and still not had a penny!

Dishwashersaurous · 10/04/2017 16:44

By far the vast majority of couples are still together when the baby is born. Therefore the situation doesn't arise.

Can't you do a voluntary arrangement until the formal agreement is in place?

Andrewofgg · 10/04/2017 16:48

A short period of backdating might make sense, but it's no good expecting a man to produce months of back-money out of his arse. He probably hasn't got it, and a bad debt is no use to the PWC or anybody else.

It's rather like the policy that "CMEC/CSA never writes off debt". CSA began in 1990; by now some of the unpaid debt must be due from fathers who are dead and left jack-shit to anybody. What's the use of pretending the case is still open?

summerfling · 10/04/2017 16:49

Me & ex don't have contact at all.
I've no contact details for him & vice versa.

It should go from either the day the child is born or the day I make the claim....not the day they write to him, it's stupid.

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 10/04/2017 16:51

But if you make the claim and can't provide contact details you making the claim is meaningless, isn't it?

Babyroobs · 10/04/2017 16:55

How are the CMS going to get money from him, can they trace him without any contact details?

Babyroobs · 10/04/2017 16:57

Aside from the CMS issues, have you looked into whether you are eligible for any tax credits if you are struggling. Cm won't affect any benefits.

ZilphasHatpin · 10/04/2017 16:57

It should be payable from the day the child is born. If it takes 5 weeks for them to arrange that it should be back dated.

Dumbo412 · 10/04/2017 16:58

Hope cms manage to get payment off him. I dealt with csa and they were useless. Hoping they are better now. Congrats on your new arrival

summerfling · 10/04/2017 16:58

I mean via telephone, I've everything else but number.

He can be traced in minutes, I've got every piece of info they need.

Due to DV, I'm reluctant to contact him myself.

OP posts:
summerfling · 10/04/2017 17:00

As soon as CB is in place, I will be making sure that they send a letter asap, I will then be ringing every few days to get an update, I won't be fobbed off. He will pay what my DS is entitled to, I won't drop it.

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 10/04/2017 17:01

Then good luck to you!

Scentofwater · 10/04/2017 17:03

I agree, but I would not expect it upfront, instead added as a repayment plan over a decent period. As not everyone would have a big chunk of money to pay upfront.

AllllGooone · 10/04/2017 17:06

A short period of backdating might make sense, but it's no good expecting a man to produce months of back-money out of his arse. He probably hasn't got it

So the op should just cough up instead? Right.

DrumrollPlease · 10/04/2017 17:08

I had the same situation BCG. My exP had a CSA case, that had to be closed and then moved over to the CMS. Over a year later (closer to 18 months). I got my 1st payment. I hope they sort yours a bit more quickly than that!

OP - The CMS are shocking. Even down to the fact that the resident parent has to pay £20 just to open the case. The system is all wrong and is skewed against single parents. You just can't win.

FishInAWetSuitAndFlippers · 10/04/2017 17:08

They are useless.

I called them, I can't get money because they refuse to guarantee that my address and details will be safe from my ex.

They also said that because he now lives with some other mug and her kids that my kids would get less even if I could claim as he is 'financially responsible' for them even though they have 2 parents.

They are a joke imo.

summerfling · 10/04/2017 17:19

Does anyone know how a NRP verifies living with other children??

My ex is a wanker & I full expect him to lie & say his new gf has children (she doesn't), so would they make him prove it or take his word for it? Which in turn means my DS loses out because of a lie Hmm

OP posts:
JoffreyBaratheon · 10/04/2017 17:22

OP if you think 5 weeks is bad try receiving not a single payment in 16 years. For 2 kids. Apparently, they couldn't find him. Less than a second on Google and I found him. Then, apparently he isn't on the system anywhere. That's because he is so rich he doesn't need a job...

Currently ex is sunning himself, and has been for a year, in an idyllic cottage in Calabria. My kids' life isn't so rosy.

No-one gives a toss. He's never been chased for it and I don't have the money for solicitors/lawyers.

summerfling · 10/04/2017 17:23

Or if he says a child lives in his household??

He will try every last trick in the book & I want to make sure CMS are following this shit up, I'm not getting diddled out of money because of a lie

OP posts:
Youdosomething · 10/04/2017 17:27

As a Head teacher I had to provide evidence for a child whose dad said he still lived with him. He didn't but wanted access to CB. We used details of no regular contact with school, homework, parents evenings etc. This prevented the father claiming. Maybe similar for any children the gf has.

summerfling · 10/04/2017 17:27

This is the problem, as soon as a guy finds a loophole, he's well away.

As long as my ex stays in employment, which he will as he wants to buy a house asap, there won't be any reason why they can't get the money from him.

They've got his home address, last telephone number I had for him (although I expect him to have changed it by now), his work address & national insurance number.

If they even attempt to say they can't trace him, I will lodge a complaint.

I can easily drive to his house & knock on his door, he's that easy to find.

OP posts:
Fanciedachange17 · 10/04/2017 17:28

I'm one of the lucky ones in the change over from CSA to CMS as I've only missed the March payment. All was done in plenty of time but he still managed to wriggle out of finishing off the CSA. Luckily for me his employer takes it out of his wages now and I did mange to meet all my DCs needs even if I am now well overdrawn. Hey ho.

summerfling · 10/04/2017 17:28

So if he says she's got kids, they'll ask for proof??

I hope so as I know 100% she does not have kids.

OP posts:
summerfling · 10/04/2017 17:29

Fancied, how long until CMS applied to have it taken out of wages directly??

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 10/04/2017 17:30

If you haven't got an address you may be stuffed - they won't do detective work for you.

As for "other DC" I would imagine they ask for birth certificates.

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