To think CMS should be paid from the day the baby is born?

[summerfling]

& not the date they bloody contact the NRP.

This my friends, is more of a rant....I am seriously naused off, that my ex won't have to start paying for our son until he's at least 5 weeks old, who the bloody hell set these stupid rules!!

The only reason they won't contact him yet is because I'm awaiting a letter from child Benefit, something I obviously couldn't claim until DS arrived.

Pisses me off! The amount of stuff I've bought for DS since he arrived & ex is contributing to naff all, simply because some dick decided NRP's shouldn't have to pay until they are contacted!

Rant over, thanks for reading!

Well if my ex has spent the money in 16 years he should have paid out for his kids, I don't see what the problem would be pursuing men like that and taking everything they have to pay it. He owns a flat, has hundres of thousands in the bank. They should have the money put on their house so they are compp;elled to sell it and pay off what they owe (new family or no new family - in my ex's case he has no partner or other kids but I'd have no compnction in making men pay whatever they owe, however many other kids they have gone on to have).

The partner left holding the baby has to pay for everything, forever.

I was never able to say "Well you need new shoes/school trip/uniform/hair cut, but I want to go on holiday on my own so let's just put that off." These absentee parents can. The law is an ass, indeed.

I wonder why there is no political will. After all, if they can mysteriously deduct student loans at source once the graduate is earning... why not this? And if unemployed, then take a commensurate amount of benefit from them.

The government look after the ones who run away from responsibility, it's like a pat on the back congratulations for being an absolute Moron!

Don't worry, we will protect you from the big bad wolf, how dare she claim any money from you to raise your dd/ds!!

Honestly winds me up, doesn't sit well with me at all.

I honestly think they should be imprisoned too, op.

The whole system is a sad indictment of misogyny. There is no will to sort it out as its women who are left high and dry by it and not men.

Its an utter disgrace that feckless fathers are allowed to get away with this.

No doubt the politicians who sanction it are also on the whole, men or the kind of women who have no solidarity with other women.

They identify with the defaulters (or maybe, in their private lives, are deadbeat dads?)

A nice little prison stay would be suffice!
For every month they miss a payment, they go to prison for a week!

Why are the people who do wrong protected??

Women are always the ones holding the babies!

If I left my son and didn't look back, I'd be viewed as mentally ill!

There are a lot of bad men out there who do not pay what they are supposed to but, unfortunately, the approach to policy making often hinges on the exceptions.

The OP likes the US idea of just taking the NRPs money. And advocates jail.

Problem is, every MP will be able to bring forward one male constituent who did not cheat on their wife, did not leave their family, had their hopes for the future dashed, by a woman who had left them and taken their kids with them. (They could also probably do the same with 100 women but thats the majority problem, not a universal one).

The OP asks why are the people who do wrong protected - again MPs could find a man to ask what protected him from losing his children?

The OP asks why women are always the ones holding the babies - again MPs could find men who have lost access to children that they loved.

The legislation, mostly decided by men, is designed to give a nod to those few men who are "victims" rather than support the women whom are the vast majority of those affected by breakups or non-relationship pregnancies (one night stands, dating for a few months etc.).

I fully get that however CM and contact are separate issues.

I feel for these guys who have their children taken and can't see them but they shouldn't stop paying for them regardless. The issue is, men want to punish the woman, they begrudge giving their exes money, ignoring the fact it's for their baby.

"CM and contact are separate issues."

For many men, I think, this is where there is a different thought process. Men can (and often do unfortunately) break contact and feel no responsibility for their children. The same happens when contact is broken for them. There have been threads on there where a woman explains that after moving the contact between the father and the children vastly reduces along with any money. Its a ridiculous trade - money for access - but thats how men can see it.

The legislation has too many gaps and loopholes in it though to be truly effective.

Maybe the government should let people off tax if they can't really afford it!

I have said this before, there is a reason student loans are deducted at source directly from wages. They don't let ex students voluntarily pay back what they owe. Funny how it was so easy for the authorities to add this to payroll - yet so hard to get maintenance from absent parents.

The debt should remain. If the absent parent does not pay for three months whilst cms gets its sorry arse into gear then tag it on to the end. I can't see Hmrc letting anyone get away with not paying what they owe in tax, why is cms different?

It is possible for a bank (you don't bank with) to know exactly what you earn via what you declare on previous credit applications plus what goes into your bank each month. The systems are bloody clever, the government choose not to deal with this.

What happened to the thread where hmrc wanted comments about cms. Did they post their findings?

Just to clarify 'It is possible for a bank (you don't bank with) to know exactly what you earn via what you declare on previous credit applications plus what goes into your bank each month. The systems are bloody clever, the government choose not to deal with this.'

I mean when you apply for credit with a bank you have never had dealings with. They know via your credit file etc what is deposited into your current account each month. Also the income you give on credit applications is logged somewhere. That's why even in 2017 not all mortgage lenders will ask for a payslip!

To those who are having problems with the CMS (it was CSA when my son was born) please conduct the ombudsman. I don't know if I was just lucky in my case, but as soon as I contacted them, after 3+ years of being messed around by an incompetent CSA, he was on my case, demanding answers and the upshot was I received quite a large amount of compensation for their failures. They are accountable for their lack of action.

www.ombudsman.org.uk/make-a-complaint

It's funny really, you get a fine but can't afford it that's tough!

You owe student loans, you can't afford again tough!

You don't pay for your child & its "oh we can't find out what he earns" even though HMRC have it on file through taxes, banks can tell them.

WHY THE FUCK DO CMS MAKE IT SO BLOODY HARD!!

I am more than ready for a battle to get money from my ex, I am bloody prepared! Bring it fucking on!! I will get what my son is entitled to, he will NOT suffer because my ex is a cunt.