MIL wants family photoshoot with DS but doesn't want us in it

[Derlei]

This is not a MIL bashing thread as she is a nice woman on the whole, she's just a bit "enthusiastic" about DS but he is PFG so I can sort of see why.

Just for context, we didn't get any photos taken of DS when he was born last year but we want to do some professional photos to commemorate his 1st birthday in a few months time (of just him).

MIL randomly announced a few months ago that she wanted to "get some professional photos taken of DS" for their house. DH and I informed her that we were going to get some done for his birthday, and that obviously they would be for whoever wants a copy and that she was welcome to however many she liked. She went quiet and then someone changed the subject, I asked DH after they had gone if he thought she was annoyed, and he agreed but thought it was maybe because she was wanting to organise it rather than us. We forgot about it.

The subject hadn't come up again, until tonight, MiL, FiL and 2 SILs were over (both SILs still live at home so they are very involved), when MiL said "we want to do a photoshoot of DS so can we arrange some dates". DH reminded her that we were going to do something in a few months to which she said that she wanted to be in them, along with FIL and 2 SILs and that they wanted to "use their own ideas", which basically translates to "we don't want to do it on the same day you're doing it". My DH then said "so basically some family photos with our son but without us?" and she said yes!

I'm not really sure what to think; we are not going to ban our son from participating in their shoot if that's what she wants, it's sweet that they love him so much but it just feels a bit weird that they don't want us to feature in it? Or aibu? I genuinely don't know! Do grandparents/Siblings tend to want stuff like this?

I would say no. It's weird. I'm trying to imagine the same with my PILs, SIL and our future baby and I just can't! As soon as you add DH in it's not as weird.

If you say yes, you'll have to see the bloody thing hanging there every time you visit for the next 20 years or so.

Are they going to so the same with subsequent GC though? Or will any further children be subjected to pictures of their favourite elder sibling/cousin on the wall every time they visit? Just asking because I have been party to this.

My pils just did this.
Pics of them with my dc and their new gc.
TBH I didn't see the problem.
We have a nice print of our dc.
They are happy.

If the op is planning on doing her own too, then does it really matter?
I suppose I was just glad I wasn't asked to be on them! 😀

She wants to get some pictures taken, I really don't see what he problem is. Probably from your obvious negative reaction the first time she mentioned it she think you and DH aren't into the idea so still wants to go ahead with pics of your DS.

I think you were unreasonable for implying she couldn't get photos taken because you were going to. They are just photos, different photographer, different style, for different people. It's nice she wants some (and to pay for some, it's not cheap).

It's definitely weird!

I'd just say no!

Your son is not a plaything for MIL.

You are the parents and are organising a photo shoot so she needs to be content, like most grandparents, with a print from that.

If you don't say no to this, what else will you have to agree to. I'm speaking from bitter experience here.

Whilst it initially sounds weird I don't think it is really. It is a 'household' shoot and you and your dh are not part of that neither is your ds and they are probably so in love with their DFG that they want him in it to.

My aunt had a SIL who had a dd and then very quickly twins. She had PND and found it hard to cope so my aunt used to take her DN every weekend to give the mum a break. She was considered part of her family as they spent so much time with her and her house is full of 'family' shoots that include her DN, but not the DT.

I would laugh about this and not give it too much head space.

I'm in the - a bit odd but harmless - camp. The fact they have done it before means its not just about you/your husband.

I would let them do it - what harm does it cause?

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest. In fact I'd be overjoyed not to have to be in a naff photo shoot.

I wouldn't go along with this either. Weird and excluding - agree with the divorce theory upthread. If the session went ahead I think you could find the images on social media as well.

Wow didn't expect so many more replies.

After sleeping on it, I do still think it's weird but will probably still allow them to do it. It is harmless, and I wouldn't let it start a spiral of other weird things as I'm not shy to put my foot down if I'm really uncomfortable. I'll just let them do theirs first and then make sure ours are much cuter haha....

I don't think it will just be SILs with DS and then PIL with DS; Based on the one they did with their nephew, there will probably be a few group ones where they will most likely all be standing in a line looking dotingly at DS!

Maybe they want to do one of these. I would have just loved it it someone had taken ds off and done this