Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at driving 91 mph on a 70 mph road.

322 replies

Jupitertomars · 09/04/2017 12:56

On a 70mph road with myself in the back as 7 month of DD was crying so 5 year old is in the front.

I was furious. OH rolls eyes when I shout "wow!! Slow down! Your going 91 mph!!"

Then give him death stare.

He replies "stop looking at me like that. I'm not going to crash."

It makes me so frustrated as he just doesn't take it serious.

I know it's common to go slightly over the speed limit but this was too far for me. It's really annoyed me but I don't want it to ruin our day out.

OP posts:
specialsubject · 09/04/2017 17:35

Who is your husband that the law doesn't apply to him?

coconuttella · 09/04/2017 17:44

Driving at perfectly legally at 60mph on a single carriageway country road is far more dangerous than driving at 80-90mph on a motorway.

Also, for those saying that he'd get caught pretty soon if he carries on like that, rightly or wrongly, a significant proportion or cars are driven at that speed on motorways, especially clear ones, and (though I'll probably get flamed for saying this) have driven at that kind of speed for 20 years literally hundreds of time without ever getting stopped (as half the other drivers would need to be stopped too!)

NotYoda · 09/04/2017 18:01

akkakk

Very informative

In the absence of any other ifo about the OP's husband, would you say it was better for him to be driving at:

a)91pmh
or
b)70mph

On a busy motorway

with children in the car?

somewhereovertherain · 09/04/2017 18:06

If flow alows don't see the issue. But then again was pulled at 96 a few years ago with kids in the car.

khajiit13 · 09/04/2017 18:07

Ara, trying to be smart? Biscuit

Just because it looks empty it doesn't mean it is. Idiots driving around with lights out, either unknowingly or uncaringly is not unusual. It wouldn't be unusual to have drunk people on the road at that time too, it happens more often than we like to think. Driving so quickly is stupid at anytime time, regardless of your perspective.

TittyGolightly · 09/04/2017 18:09

I've done over 100k miles, most of them in the early hours of the morning, in the last 6 years and not encountered any of those.

JacquesHammer · 09/04/2017 18:12

Urgh. You know those kids at school who pretend to be so cool cos they break all the rules and "aren't i clever". "Im SOOOOOO the best at that"

Annoying in kids. Utterly tiresome in an adult

somewhereovertherain · 09/04/2017 18:16

Funnily enough I do 40-50k miles per year and never see anyone on the motorway with out lights on at night. But local town old people constantly going down the one way the wrong way.

araiwa · 09/04/2017 18:17

"Ara, trying to be smart?"

Kha- just making up for you

ForalltheSaints · 09/04/2017 18:22

Don't go with him on a motorway unless you drive next time. To make a point.

Quite frankly people like him should not have a driving licence.

Foxysoxy01 · 09/04/2017 18:24

To the posters saying they always do fast speeds and break the limit even with kids in car blah blah blah.

You don't sound cool or clever tbh you come across as knobs and honestly people are laughing at you as they read the crap you are posting.

Do yourselves a favour and grow up.

akkakk · 09/04/2017 18:32

akkakk
Very informative
In the absence of any other info about the OP's husband, would you say it was better for him to be driving at:
a)91mph
or
b)70mph
On a busy motorway
with children in the car?

NotYoda
thank you - and really difficult to know based on the information we have... In the above I deliberately split my response:

  • general comments on speed and why I think that actually there are many other issues to be tackling etc.
  • the OP, and I commented there that irrelevant of safety etc. advanced driving would include making your passengers comfortable which clearly the OP's husband failed to do...

So on that basis alone, a considerably slower speed should have been chosen...
however based on facts and or questions:

  • dry clear day today
  • how busy is busy on a motorway
  • what is the flow of other traffic (fast / slow / bunched up or spaced out?)
  • what is the car that OP is in (rusty old small hatch or modern safer bigger vehicle)
  • children - irrelevant from safety / relevant from courtesy & care perspective, however a crying child will distract a driver meaning slower is better
  • how tired is the OP's husband (broken nights with small children and stress at work / relaxed, happy and alert - OP suggests relaxing day out together)
  • how good a driver is the OP's husband (24 and not very experienced / early 40s with lots of experience?)
  • how was he driving (speed aside) - was he close up behind other cars wanting to bully his way past / was he unaware of what others were doing, or was he scanning 1+ miles ahead / behind, and observing mirrors and those around him - was he driving in a bubble of safety (space all around) as the police do, or constantly putting himself in places where if someone else had an issue he wouldn't be able to react quickly enough?

too many variables to know - it is absolutely possible to drive at 90+ smoothly and safely on a motorway, even one with lots of other traffic - equally there are times when 70 won't be safe even when traffic is overall lighter... this is why we shouldn't be fixated on absolute speeds but actual style of and approach to driving - as mentioned above I know drivers who I would be happy to sit next to (and have) when they have been driving at speed but in total safety - whereas there are others I know where I would be nervous about being in the car at slow speeds - I was in a car with one such person earlier this week and they commented that someone on the roundabout had cut them up - nope, they had simply not noticed that other car and in fact cut up that other car! That to me would be far more worrying than a particular speed from a competent driver...

So, sorry to not answer directly, I don't think that without being there we can really answer such a question - but as I have said above and will reiterate - regardless of how clever / able a driver is - the safety and consideration of everyone else comes first - so on that alone, he should have been driving differently...

hopefully folks can see that there is a theoretical discussion here which concludes simply that speed alone doesn't kill and therefore just stating he was doing xx and shouldn't is an argument out of context... but then there is also a reality based discussion ref. the OP's husband and simply put there he was not prioritising his passengers and therefore got it wrong...

however that doesn't mean that 90+ was absolutely wrong in that setting, so in the spirit of true mediation, while the OP's husband should acknowledge that the passenger's comfort is a priority - so equally the OP should base her reaction not on the speed, but on the driving - from what we know her logic was based on 90 = illegal therefore 90 is unsafe - which is a flawed argument - had the OP said that her husband was driving dangerously / tail-gating / undertaking / etc. etc. then she would have had a stronger argument - but the speed as a number on its own without our knowing the context is not enough to agree with her Grin

Pawpainting · 09/04/2017 18:35

Why was a 5 year old sitting in the front seat? I find that more dangerous than the speeding tbh. I hope they were at least in a booster seat but if the airbag went off it would be catastrophic

TittyGolightly · 09/04/2017 18:36

To the posters saying they always do fast speeds

Has anyone said that?

TittyGolightly · 09/04/2017 18:37

Mine has been in the front since 3 or 4 (no back seats, what with the roll cage). Airbag on that side is switched off.

Parker231 · 09/04/2017 18:48

To TittyGolightly and others who seem to think it's not an issue to exceed 70 miles an hour on a motorway - you are breaking the law, the road conditions, your driving experience, type of car are all irrelevant. If you can't drive within the law, get off the road. I hope that one day very soon you learn to drive properly!

TittyGolightly · 09/04/2017 18:56

Parker. I'm more than likely a far better qualified driver than you. Just saying. ;)

Parker231 · 09/04/2017 18:59

TittyGolighty - your comment is ridiculous. And for your information I passed my test 30 years ago, advanced driver, use the motorways every day and have no points. It's irrelevant whether you consider yourself a qualified driver you need to learn to stick to the law to avoid an accident involving yourself but more importantly one involving someone else.

TittyGolightly · 09/04/2017 19:06

I have no points either. 22 years at 15-20k miles a year on average.

I drive to the conditions. I'm not doing 90 past primary schools.

Foxysoxy01 · 09/04/2017 19:06

TittyGolightly

Yeah you're sounding more and more like a knob.

I'm glad you have such self confidence you don't worry about how other people view you but I can promise you other road users will be calling you a dickhead and most users on here are laughing at you.

akkakk · 09/04/2017 19:08

To TittyGolightly and others who seem to think it's not an issue to exceed 70 miles an hour on a motorway - you are breaking the law, the road conditions, your driving experience, type of car are all irrelevant. If you can't drive within the law, get off the road. I hope that one day very soon you learn to drive properly!

you can't just lump together lots of disparate views as it not being an issue...

no-one denies that above 70mph is breaking the law - of course it is... but that has nothing to do with safety - the original debate - as above - there are times when driving within legal speed limits could be unsafe, and times when driving outside them could still be safe. As a driver, your first duty is to safety, observing the law is not the no 1 priority...

equally we should remember that law is simply a construct of current politics - lets say parliament were to change and a new party made all motorways derestricted - would 90mph be unsafe today, but suddenly be safe in a month's time because it becomes legal...? of course not - as with Isle of Man's derestricted areas, or Germany etc. - safety and speed are not mutually aligned...

So, you are right, above 70 is currently outside the law, but that doesn't make it unsafe...

sadly, for your argument, a lot of the more unsafe drivers on our roads do things that are unsafe because they believe they can because they are still within the speed limit - I am legal, ergo, I am safe... (see my example above about cyclists and the driver I saw this morning...)

the modern obsession with speed values and 'legality' at the expense of safety is itself the cause of many more accidents than excessive speed alone... I am not condoning breaking the law - but trying to explain why an attitude just generated by 'under 70 = safe / above 70 = illegal and therefore unsafe' is itself a dangerous attitude...

ultimately it is an issue for the driver alone as to whether they are legal / illegal - they alone pick up those consequences with speeding points / courses / higher insurance / etc.

it is an issue for everyone if a driver is unsafe - therefore safety must be the first and most important and in fact only consideration - none of my business or anyone else's if TittyGolightly decides to drive above 70mph if that driving is safe - the only consequence could be for them alone - however it is everyone's concern if a driver is unsafe - and that happens as much below the speed limit as it does above

so let's stop being irrational and going on about legality and safety in the same discussion - they are not the same thing - lets talk about how drivers can be safer and that will benefit everyone...

Renaissance2017 · 09/04/2017 19:10

I wish my old landrover could get to 70mph.

ZilphasHatpin · 09/04/2017 19:10

I have no points either.

No you took the speed awareness course instead.

user1471451355 · 09/04/2017 19:18

Granted I'm not in the U.K. but we are taught that it's far more dangerous to be the lone vehicle strictly adhering to the speed limit while the traffic is flowing 10/15/20mph faster. I drive on a freeway every day where the speed limit is 70 and I can't think of the last time I did under 80 in normal traffic conditions.

Probably not the greatest idea to shout at / argue with someone who's driving at any speed, anyways.

TittyGolightly · 09/04/2017 19:40

No you took the speed awareness course instead.

Yes, my newborn baby was crying and I missed that the speed limit of the road I was on - that had been 40mph my entire life - had changed to 30 and I was doing 35. I.e. below the limit I believed was in place and not much above the one that was in place.

Clearly I should have been hanged.

We'd better ban babies in cars.