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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at driving 91 mph on a 70 mph road.

322 replies

Jupitertomars · 09/04/2017 12:56

On a 70mph road with myself in the back as 7 month of DD was crying so 5 year old is in the front.

I was furious. OH rolls eyes when I shout "wow!! Slow down! Your going 91 mph!!"

Then give him death stare.

He replies "stop looking at me like that. I'm not going to crash."

It makes me so frustrated as he just doesn't take it serious.

I know it's common to go slightly over the speed limit but this was too far for me. It's really annoyed me but I don't want it to ruin our day out.

OP posts:
MrTCakes · 10/04/2017 20:45

Re the stretch of M4 that passes through Newport ... the average speed cameras have significantly helped with traffic on this part, and at quieter times the limit goes back up to 60 or 70.

parry45 · 10/04/2017 20:45

It doesnt matter what country etc, if you have your dc in the car with you then its your responsibility as a driver AND parent for their safety? Me and my dcs were involved a a collision on Wed from a speeding driver. Luckily we are all ok ( car isnt) but had the other person not been speeding it never would have happened. Its much easier to lose control of the car going at a speed like that. Its not worth it.

limitedperiodonly · 10/04/2017 20:52

What kind of road were you on when you had this collision, parry45?

cherish123 · 10/04/2017 22:38

Don't let OH drive. You should do the driving. That is quite a lot over the limit. Generally, the Germans are quite good at driving at v high speeds. However, this does not make it ok. Esp bad when 5 year old in front. I am not sure why you think it is acceptable to have a 5 year old in the front!

cheval · 10/04/2017 22:45

My stupid ex regularly did 100mph with my kids in car. Wish I had punched him for doing it. I drive at the speed limit and always have loonies rammed up my rear end cos they think it's too slow. This is on ordinary roads in London. On motorways, it's madness. If you're doing 70, it's like you're dawdling. And driving at night is another weird world altogether. crazies out there.

TittyGolightly · 10/04/2017 22:49

And driving at night is another weird world altogether.

WTF?!

PuntCuffin · 10/04/2017 22:52

Don't let OH drive. You should do the driving

Hmm why should the OP always have to drive everywhere rather than her DH modify his behaviour?

Many years ago my father lost his licence. My mother refused to drive him anywhere for the year as she was so pissed off with his refusal to be sensible.

A former colleague (with a role which required driving) had to get his mother to drive him to his clients for a year after he lost his licence. That was a far greater punishment than the original licence revocation. She was deliberately slow everywhere they went and sat and wittered rubbish at him all day on purpose. Was hilarious. He thoroughly learned his lesson Grin

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 10/04/2017 22:53

I agree with Titty

RaqsMax · 11/04/2017 03:15

If I have understood this correctly, you said that your FIVE year old was in the front passenger seat?

If your car has airbags, you place any child under 12 years travelling in the front passenger seat in serious danger of injury should the airbags deploy. I know that in my vehicle (Vauxhall Zafira), the owners handbook states that under no circumstances should any children under 12, whether using a car seat/booster seat or not should ride in the front passenger seat.

Airbags deploy with considerable force. Children in rear facing car seats can suffer serious head injury when an airbag deploys in the front seat. Even if in a forward facing car seat, children's bodies are at the wrong height and are too frail to escape without serious injury.

Children should always travel in the rear seats and be in a properly fitted car seat. That's without your lunatic husband who thinks it appropriate to speed with his most precious cargo on board. I wouldn't allow the children to be in the car with him at that speed. Better to ruin a day out than potentially ruin all of your lives with a crash. Even on a supposedly 'safe' road empty of traffic in ideal driving conditions, a tyre could blow out, or a deer could bound out in front of you. The faster you go, the less likely you are to have control of your vehicle in an emergency situation. There are reasons for a 70 mph speed limit. And those reasons are based on extensive research into speed/road safety and in response to thousands of fatalities in crash situations.

Instasista · 11/04/2017 03:31

I'm always surprised by these threads as the posters claim to be so shocked and outraged by speeding and I just wonder if they have ever actually been on a motorway, where traffic permitting, everyone is driving above 70. Its pretty rare to see someone pottaling along at 70.

I'm more surprised by the 5YO in the front

Instasista · 11/04/2017 03:32

And the posts about not letting him drive. Telling a grown adult with a valid license you won't allow them to drive? Good luck with that

steff13 · 11/04/2017 03:35

why should the OP always have to drive everywhere rather than her DH modify his behaviour?

How is the OP going to force another grown adult to modify his behavior?

ohlittlepea · 11/04/2017 05:15

My husband sometimes speeds. We know two people who are paralysed from car crashes so I always try to drive cautiously. I remind him that he has all my most precious/important things in the car, him and my daughter. I also say, probably something won't happen, but if it does, you'll never forgive yourself for taking the added risk. We try to leave plenty of time to get somewhere so that time pressure doesn't make us take risks. In a split second your life can change forever. I don't know how I'd go on if I was involved in hurting somebody else through me taking risks on the road. I think people who drive at 91 must think they don't have much to loose. But they do. It just gives you so much less time to react to situations.

PuntCuffin · 11/04/2017 05:59

How is the OP going to force another grown adult to modify his behavior?

She's not. How about he grows the fuck up and starts considering not only his own family but other road users?

steff13 · 11/04/2017 06:03

How about he grows the fuck up and starts considering not only his own family but other road users?

Ok, so how is she going to make him do that?

The OP can only control her behavior. If he sees nothing wrong with it, it's unlikely he'll change.

LittleBearPad · 11/04/2017 06:34

There's a lot of very simplistic thinking on this thread. The OP's husband wasn't reasonable because he made her nervous. On another occasion (different road / time / weather etc) she might not have been so concerned.

The 5 year old in the front concerned me more.

TittyGolightly · 11/04/2017 07:10

There are reasons for a 70 mph speed limit. And those reasons are based on extensive research into speed/road safety and in response to thousands of fatalities in crash situations.

Are you sure about that?!

coconuttella · 11/04/2017 07:51

There are reasons for a 70 mph speed limit. And those reasons are based on extensive research into speed/road safety and in response to thousands of fatalities in crash situations.

I expect you'd like to believe that, but I can't see any evidence for it. It was introduced in 1965 when cars were far less safe than they are now.

Also, I'm another one who's incredulous at posters who are so aghast and shocked at anyone who would break the speed limit on a motorway. On an open, clear motorway,
80-90% of car drivers exceed the limit. The issue is that 70 mph has lost credibility as cars, and especially their brakes, have improved.

ArgyMargy · 11/04/2017 07:59

I think speeding at 80+ on motorways has actually become less universal since the price of fuel rocketed. I'm sure lots more people (like me) now toddle along at 65-70, smugly getting 60+ mpg.

GloriaGilbert · 11/04/2017 08:08

Also, I'm another one who's incredulous at posters who are so aghast and shocked at anyone who would break the speed limit on a motorway. On an open, clear motorway,

Ditto. If it's empty, I go about 80-85. If it's not, I don't.

GloriaGilbert · 11/04/2017 08:10

There are reasons for a 70 mph speed limit. And those reasons are based on extensive research into speed/road safety and in response to thousands of fatalities in crash situations.

I think you're confusing this with the research that has gone into establishing residential street speed limits, which are informed largely by the speed at which a human is most likely to survive being hit by a car. It is not OK to speed on residential streets for this reason.

Motorways are a completely different kettle of fish.

Instasista · 11/04/2017 08:28

"I think speeding at 80+ on motorways has actually become less universal since the price of fuel rocketed. I'm sure lots more people (like me) now toddle along at 65-70, smugly getting 60+ mpg."

This is the strangest post Grin most people just want to get places and feel more smug about being on time than getting a bit more mileage out of their fuel.

Although I agree that the speed limits in motorways probably isn't based on much (although I think it's fair to assume no evidence has emerged that means they are significantly outdated)
It's obvious to anyone who drives that the speed limits on motorways are very laxly enforced, unlike say, the residential roads. And there's obviously a reason for the blind eye turning.

cherish123 · 11/04/2017 08:37

RaqsMax - you have hit the nail on the head. Totally irresponsible to have child that age in front.

PuntCuffin - I am not saying he should not modify his behaviour but the chances are he won't and OP driving all the time is hardly a hardship. Driving does not have to be shared equally.

Narp · 11/04/2017 08:44

limitedperiod

it's not a good idea to act as an unofficial traffic cop either

What does that mean?

akkakk · 11/04/2017 09:25

I think speeding at 80+ on motorways has actually become less universal since the price of fuel rocketed. I'm sure lots more people (like me) now toddle along at 65-70, smugly getting 60+ mpg.

while that is perfectly acceptable, not sure that is true - sit on a motorway at 70mph on cruise control for accuracy... now count the number of cars you overtake and the number that overtake you (not including lorries / trailers / anything restricted below that - just normal cars) - the lowest % I have had overtake me was high 80% - c. 88% - which means that generally at best 1 in 8 cars is within the speed limit and the norm is in the 90% range - so that means that over 90% of the population are driving at above 70 - as speedos generally over-read, that means they are pinning their speed even higher to be still over 70 - probably 75-80 minimum...

try it - caveat - free-flowing motorway, not congestion Grin
and just to note I don't have (and have never had) a car that will do 60mpg Grin

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