Are social services really stealing children?

[user1491583343]

Hi all,

I just seen a terrible documentary in Portugal where some parents living in the UK where asking the government to help them with their children, which were taken away by social services unfairly.

I know some of this documentaries can be only one sided but really made me wonder as they seem pretty terrified and genuine... I am also pregnant so this was really distressing to see. Some of the cases there in my opinion shouldn't lead to the kids been taken into fostering or adoption - they were too extreme and cruel.

To give one example a mum there, had her 2nd baby and noticed something wasn't okay as the new born baby seemed to shake every now and than... She took the baby to Hospital a few times (she showed all the letters and videos of the baby "shaking"). Apparently different doctors told her that was "hiccups" she was always sent home. 5 days latter her baby dies and social services take away her 3 year old as doctors believe she had "shaken the baby until he passed away" - even though the case was still under investigation the 3 year was given for adoption (not fostering), even though she had her grandparents living also in the UK with all the conditions to get custody of the child.

It's super scary but basically more medical exames have showed latter that the baby could have died due to epilepsy as their was no signs of agression, abuse etc... but as the child was placed into adoption this was already too late.

I am sure some details are missing but seemed so cruel that I decided to ask for opinions and see if anyone here has had any experiences.

The documentary also showed the pressure SS get to meet their targets and how it's not the first time that they are accused of lying etc...

Some parents in the documentary have showed concerns on seeking help from professionals due to this extreme procedures - for example another case their was a woman who got post-natal depression. She got her baby taken away after going to GP to discuss this matter, because the GP reported her to SS who have assumed she wouldn't have the ability to look after a child. We all know that woman can get depression but what is creating the problem is the fact that close family don't even get offered to foster. Children are given away and in most cases ends in adoption.

Would love to hear experiences and your thoughts on this.

user you didn't offend me. I'd much people asked questions after watching these biased documentaries than swallow it all hook line and sinker.

It's more the people that will loudly proclaim as fact that we get bonuses for stealing babies for adoption. Trust me, my mother was a frontline CP social worker for 32 years, there were no bonuses. I'd have gone on far more holidays as a kid if there had been!!!

We had a thread almost exactly the same as this a couple of months ago except I think the documentary had been shown in France. Can't remember the name of the person behind the documentary, but he has an agenda and has actually attacked social services for becoming involved in cases where the families have later caused the death of a child - Liam Fee springs to mind.

Social workers are human. They deal with very distressing situations. They do not take children away from families on a whim or to meet targets. Taking children away from their families is done as an absolute last resort.

The person behind this documentary is a shit stirrer.

Ahh, blankpieceofpaper, that's the thread I was thinking about, thanks.

not sure if this has been said, Social services/workers cannot steal children, or remove children from parents/carers, only a judge court order can do this.

People seem to have got their knickers in a twist about the rehoming word. Fostering/adoption is not my specialism. Feel free to replace it with your own PC term.

Rehome.

Children are not stray pets.

It's not about PC, it's about not being a goady fucker.

Social workers have no power to remove children. The courts decide.
When you hear these horror stories you never hear the other side. Social workers are unable to defend themselves from tabloid stories due to confidentiality.
Every parent I know who is in danger of losing their children or has lost care of them has been unable or unwilling to see any problem with their parenting. They all believe there is a conspiracy to meet targets and steal children for thousands of wealthy adopters.
The reality is this; If there is one parent taking heroin and the other is on methadone. We have to keep the family together as long as one of them remains on methadone and functioning. Why? Because if all children who had parents on drugs were taken into care, the system couldn't cope. There are not enough adopters or foster carers for all the children in care as it is. That is why councils are advertising and running recruitment drives for them.
There are a few cases where individuals in social work have acted badly. Like all professions.
There is no large-scale conspiracy to steal your children.

I've had to name change as this is outing - no, I don't believe SS steal children, or that they have quotas to hit in terms of removing children from families, or resulting bonuses. And these documentaries may be designed to unfairly paint sS as corrupt when in fact they do a hard job & get it right the majority of the time.

BUT they do get it wrong sometimes and situations can escalate quickly resulting in loving parents losing their kids. I speak from bitter experience, thank goodness we managed to prove our innocence and our DC were not taken but it has changed my view of SS forever and I'm not so quick to judge the parents in high profile cases now as I was before. I think it's good that documentaries give another version, another side to the story. Because it is hell like no other to be suspected of child abuse, told that you've done wrong when you know you haven't, and to be watched 24-7 in hospital under constant scrutiny and not allowed to take your child home even when medically they have no need to be there.

This has been done before OP-sounded very similar to this post from last November...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2792849-AIBU-to-be-horrified-by-the-Stolen-Children-of-England

Social worked have to walk a very fine line.
If they do nothing there have been times when the child has been killed by thier parents or died due to neglect. People are thenup in arms about how the social workers did nothing to help/should have taken them away etc
But when they do have red flags and children are taken away and unfortunately it turns out there was another cause e.g. A undiagnosed medical problem then people are up in arms about how dare they take children away from thier parents etc.

It's not clear cut and social workers have to use thier judgement (and then get the order signed off by other people who must then also believe it's in the child's best interest)
No system is 100% infallible. Mistakes will be made unfortunately and all that can be down is to learn from it.

Sorry blank should have RTFT but glad we had the same idea!

In NZ we have to fight to get anything done - the amount of child abuse here is so astonishing.

No of course they're not stealing children, that's absolutely ridiculous.

Mistakes sadly are made.

Targets will relate to the service provided to children already in care and to protecting children at risk while keeping them with their family. Not "get 10 babies this month".

Removing children from their families is only one tiny part of this picture. SW can get orders through court to remove children who are at immediate risk but the majority of these children will return home or to the care of a family member fairly quickly. That leaves the children who cannot, for whatever reason, be returned to their birth family. In order to get any sort of permanence order (either adoption or long term foster care- both involve removing a parents parental rights and responsibilities) there are many hoops to jump through to ensure this is the right path for that child. It is an expensive and time consuming job involving a lengthy assessment and many professionals. To suggest social workers in the UK can ‘steal' children is frankly ridiculous.

I knew a couple of foster-carers who fostered babies - sometimes taken from the mother at birth. They were always toddlers at least 18 months old (occasionally nearly 3) before they were actually placed for adoption. It took that long to ensure the parents couldn't manage (sometimes including placements in specialist units to try and support the family), to ensure there was no family who could take them and to identify suitable adopters. Often the babies were detoxing from their mother's drug habit. Sometimes the placement was delayed as foetal alcohol syndrome was suspected. It certainly wasn't a quick, easy or cheap process.

Wasn't Marie Black, who is currently serving a long provision sentence for sexually abusing five children the same Marie Black who 'fled to France' to avoid her new born being taken into care, (allegedly because she'd had. Minor contact with an abusive ex) and received wholehearted support from the Daily Mail etc.

The point is parents can claim anything, social workers are prohibited from defending themselves.

what rubbish are you sprouting about the UK being one of the few countries with a forced adoption.

(ok maybe your right about them calling it adoption)

Every EU member and most other European nations have a social services that DO remove children from abusive homes permentanly and give to another family or into care homes (even if its not called adoprtion)

The UK has "forced adoption" because other countries are willing to see children kept in the care system for their whole childhood. Some countries allow "open adoption" but when the parents refuse to acknowledge the reason their children were removed how successful do you think that might be?
What's a better option for a child? Because they are what matters here ultimately. Is it better to be in care for years hoping their parent might make the changes, might be able to parent them one day. Or is it better to have a new permanent home with a family who will love them, will truly look after them, will put their needs first.

Abusive and neglectful parents very often won't admit or just can't see what they are doing wrong.

I have a massive amount of respect for children's services, it's a job I could never cope with.

Given the number of threads about this documentary, I can only assume that Portuguese TV plays this documentary on loop to terrify the British tourists for sport.