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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to ask how you feel about your menfolk's sexist tattoos?

97 replies

Felixvoluptua · 08/04/2017 21:46

I saw my SIL in shorts today and he has a tattoo on his calf of a woman with her knickers round her ankles. It's not explicit in any way, but it did make me wonder how my daughter feels about it, and how both of them will discuss it with future kids of either sex. I haven't asked my daughter, because she's struggling with depression at the moment, and in any case, it's none of my business: they seem to get on very well, and are very happy together. But I did wonder how other women feel about it.

OP posts:

Alpanini · 09/04/2017 15:34

Why don't you ask him directly instead of asking strangers on the internet? If he is a nice easy going bloke i am sure he won't mind telling you when / why he got it. Just do it politely... 'oo, i didn't know you had a tattoo...' i have an orrible tribal tattoo (was 18) and don't mind people asking me about it. Good luck!

Alpanini · 09/04/2017 15:35

And i gave my tat about 2 minutes thought and was drunk. I'm lucky it's just ugly, not offensive.

Nancy91 · 09/04/2017 15:44

He can have whatever tattoo he wants. If his partner doesn't like it she should leave him. I have tattoos my partner doesn't particularly like, but I like them and it's my body so I don't care.

A lot of art features naked people, you know.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 09/04/2017 15:52

How considerate of the dickheads to label themselves for us.

AyeAmarok · 09/04/2017 18:22

It's an ongoing thing with her since her teens and she's early 30's now, so it's not down to SILs tattoo.

I think you have misunderstood people's posts, OP.

They aren't saying she's depressed because of the tattoo. They are saying she may be depressed because she is in a relationship with a misogynistic prick who doesn't make her feel good about herself.

I'd certainly be depressed if I was with someone like that.

Original poster

Felixvoluptua · 09/04/2017 18:31

Yes, thanks, I got that. I'm not asking for advice on her depression.

OP posts:

MelinaMercury · 09/04/2017 18:31

That's a very dangerous assumption to be making and a really unfair one too.

Felix has already said he seems a decent guy so there are absolutely no grounds, other than a bit of bloody ink, to assume that he's "a misogynistic prick" who treats her like shit.

She also said it wasn't vulgar or obscene in any way. Lots of people have pin up or manta style tattoos it doesn't make them a bloody abuser.

You've no idea what it looks like therefore it's hard to judge and certainly unfair to start throwing unfounded accusations around.

TiredCluelessMummy · 09/04/2017 18:39

Melina it's very difficult to imagine that an image of a woman with her knickers round her ankles could be anything other than vulgar or obscene. It's certainly not something that demonstrates a respectful attitude towards women.

MelinaMercury · 09/04/2017 18:50

Well in going with the OP's opinion in saying that "it's not explicit in any way" (sorry vulgar and obscene were not mentioned by Felix, my bad) since she has actually seen it and none of us have.

Is it ideal? No.

Does it automatically make him a misogynistic neanderthal who is feeding his wife's mental health issues? Definitely not.

TheStoic · 09/04/2017 18:53

Does it automatically make him a misogynistic neanderthal who is feeding his wife's mental health issues? Definitely not.

It's not a massive leap to think he does not respect women. That can't be good for the woman he's in a relationship with.

catsarenice · 09/04/2017 19:16

I'm wondering if it's the front cover of the Guns n' Roses original Appetite for Destruction album?

mygorgeousmilo · 09/04/2017 19:19

The depression could be related to being in a relationship with a misogynistic pig?

RufusTheRenegadeReindeer · 09/04/2017 19:23

I love guns and roses but i would still look at a man askance is he had that tattooed on him

I wouldnt think 'yay guns and roses fan' i would think 'twat'

catsarenice · 09/04/2017 19:26

Oh yes Rufus me too - but maybe preferable being a twat than a misogynist.

annandale · 09/04/2017 19:32

I like tattoos much more than I used to not hard as I hated them but I do think people should be prepared to be judged for what they say is something important about how they feel and think. I also think it's possible to have some sexual kinks without it eliminating anything else of value about you - but then why would you have a tattoo of them. I have some weird sexual fantasies but why on earth would I have them permanently marked on me. If I met someone who had a child being abused or someone being tortured tattooed on them, I'd a) give them a wide berth and b) want to ask them to cover it up while I was with them. I think he would be offended if you asked him to wear long trousers while you were around but I don't actually think he'd have the right to.

MelinaMercury · 09/04/2017 19:33

Really? I would just assume it's a favourite album that has personal significance to the individual.

But then i say this as someone who has an album cover image inked on me as does my DH.

TheDowagerCuntess · 09/04/2017 19:36

No OP, you're not asking for advice about your DD's depression, but you are asking what we think of men's sexist tattoos.

And given that the mental health issue was raised in the OP, it's inevitable that people are going to link them.

This must be hard to read. Hope you and your DD are OK.

Original poster

Felixvoluptua · 09/04/2017 19:46

The tattoo is definitely vulgar, but not obscene or explicit. It's nothing like the cober for G&Rs Apoetite for Destruction that I googled (skulls on a cross) . Did you have the right album title?

OP posts:

Original poster

Felixvoluptua · 09/04/2017 19:55

Oh sorry , just saw you referred to the original artwork and googled that. No, not that picture.

OP posts:

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 09/04/2017 19:58

Tbh I'd struggle to have sex with a man that had a tattoo of a woman with her knickers round her ankles but that's me, clearly your daughter has different standards.
It's good that these fuckwits label themselves so clearly though I think.

RufusTheRenegadeReindeer · 10/04/2017 10:46

melina

If the 'really' was for me

The original artwork shows a woman sitting on the floor up against a wall in the street with her pants down and breast exposed

I always thought it was showing someone who had been raped

cat

I agree ...but there can be a very fine line between the two

RufusTheRenegadeReindeer · 10/04/2017 10:47

Do love appetite for destruction though

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