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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she tricked me?

66 replies

PlainJain · 08/04/2017 18:59

So I recently got a seasonal job working on a holiday park, living onsite. A couple of weeks into starting, my manager asks me and a few other staff if we'd like to go down to the pub one evening (6 of us).

At the pub, my manager appears to get quite tipsy and keeps on buying rounds for everyone, refusing to let anyone spend their money. Everyone is enjoying their evening, laughing and joking and talking. Another member of staff is not drinking at all due to being on antibiotics.

Just before we leave, I go to the toilet, and when I come back she says 'the taxi's not coming for 20 minutes, I've got you another glass of red on the table Jane, one for the road!" I told her "Thanks, ready for bed now, struggling to keep up with you!" It was pretty late by the time we got back on site, and the manager asks who would care for a nightcap in the staff room before we headed to bed. I said thanks for the offer but no thanks, my head was spinning and I was ready to sleep.

The next day we aren't working, but all had to go to a training session at 10am. My manager informs everyone that they need to come to a meeting in the staff room at 8:30. When I get there, she announces that she is doing random breathalyzer tests on two people. She picks the lady who was out with us all and not drinking (and she KNEW this) and me! I failed the breathalyzer (by a tiny percentage) and she says 'Sorry Jane, I'm going to have to give you a warning, staff can't turn up for work with alcohol in their system. Luckily it's just training today otherwise you could have lost your job."

AIBU to think cheeky bitch, you were the one that invited me out, bought me a crap ton of wine and then tried to make me carry on the party after we got back! I feel like I've been set up somehow, because I'm the newbie, especially as the only other person she breathalyzed was someone she knew hadn't touched a drop.

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 08/04/2017 19:01

Wow that's shit. Did you ask her to do the breathalyser too?

Cocklodger · 08/04/2017 19:02

I'd have asked her to breathalyse herself tbh. YANBU

CakesAreBiscuitsToo · 08/04/2017 19:02

What would be her motivation?

That's a very odd thing to do unless she has a clear motive.

AddALemon · 08/04/2017 19:02

Confused how strange, has she got memory problems? Have no idea op, just find it a very strange thing to do

Oldraver · 08/04/2017 19:02

How bizarre..is it in your contract she can do this ?

Original poster
PlainJain · 08/04/2017 19:03

I wanted to ask her to take it too, but didn't want to make things worse after getting a warning - will never be going out with her again!

OP posts:
IonaNE · 08/04/2017 19:03

cheeky bitch, you were the one that invited me out
Presumably she was also the one who invited the lady who did not drink out?

bought me a crap ton of wine
And forced it down your throat?

YABU

RedHareWithBlondeHair · 08/04/2017 19:04

What the actual fuck!?

CakesAreBiscuitsToo · 08/04/2017 19:05

What is her motivation? Do you understand that it makes no sense for her to do this unless she has a reason. Does she dislike you?

PurpleDaisies · 08/04/2017 19:05

That's a really odd situation. Do you think she was trying to get you drunk?

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 08/04/2017 19:05

YANBU. If I'm reading it correctly. She was the one buying you the drinks, and She's using this against you. Do you have an HR department.
I'd be speaking to them.

This is night right on so many levels.
Not to mention a serious abuse of power.
The horrible cow

GoodDayToYou · 08/04/2017 19:05

Wow. I'd say yes, she sounds mental. Start looking for another job.

lampshady · 08/04/2017 19:05

Wtf? How bizarre. Squeaky clean from now on and avoid her like to plague at social functions. She sounds like an utter dick.

sparechange · 08/04/2017 19:08

Wtf?
Is it in your contract that you must not have drunk within x hours of a shift?

I would also ask her to prove it's a proper/calibrated breathalyser- she can't go handing out warnings based on one of those Halfords single use things which clearly say on the side they aren't to be relied on as anything other than a guide

Iona is on glue an' all...

highinthesky · 08/04/2017 19:09

I think your manager was making a point. In an exceedingly crappy way.

The other lesson you've learnt is that you're working in a do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do culture. Good managers lead by example.

Original poster
PlainJain · 08/04/2017 19:09

She's always seemed a bit snooty, but after a few drinks she lightened up and I thought 'she's not so bad!' Clearly I was wrong Confused

OP posts:
Astro55 · 08/04/2017 19:11

So she just tested you - who refused a nightcap and the job drinker?

Did the others go for a nightcap?

Original poster
PlainJain · 08/04/2017 19:13

Only one other joined her for a nightcap but that was someone who's been working there for several years who she seems pretty friendly with

OP posts:
redexpat · 08/04/2017 19:13

Well look at it this way. She has shown what kind of manager she is early on. So be on your guard. Keep a detailed diary of events like this, who said what and who was a witness. Are you in a union? If not join one. Try and keep as much communication as possible in written form. Repeat instructions back to her. She wants to set you up to fail so dont let her. Dont ever let her buy you a drink again. Do you think she is capable of drugging it?

I suspect there maybe some other politics in play here. Maybe she didnt want new staff but you were forced on her by management? That kind of thing. Or a really good friend of hers didnt get the job that you now have.

Yukbuck · 08/04/2017 19:13

That's really rubbish. I do believe you were set up. What does it say in your contract about drinking etc...? I'd be inclined not to drink at all on a work night now just to prove a point! How awful. It should be fun working in a holiday park!

Glitteryunicorn · 08/04/2017 19:16

If everyone else went back to have a nightcap maybe she picked you because she thought you'd stopped drinking the earliest and therefore had the best chance of passing the test?

Just another way to look at it?

Aria2015 · 08/04/2017 19:17

I've actually heard of this happening before to someone. Their manager took the team out and got all the drinks in, turns out the managers drinks were just soft drinks and they were pretending they were drinking too. Got (most) of them shit faced and then when the next day they were hung over (it was a work day) they tore into them about unprofessional they all were. It was a trick / power trip thing and not the first time they'd done it either!

I'm always wary of letting my hair down in front of the boss as you just never know when it's going to come back and bite you!

Sorry this has happened to you, sounds like your manager is a cow!

Thinkingofausername1 · 08/04/2017 19:19

Run for the hills. Sounds toxic

Asmoto · 08/04/2017 19:22

This was not a working day, but you were expected for training at 10am. You were breathalysed at 8:30am and failed marginally - but this was 1.5 hours before the starting time you'd been given. Therefore, I don't see how she can warn you on that basis - technically 8:30am was not part of your working day. If the fail was minimal, you might well have been OK by 10am which was your actual start time.

If you wanted to challenge the warning, I'd do it on that basis - your other option is to swallow the unfairness, and as pps have said, just avoid drinking altogether on work nights. Your manager is two-faced.

doozeldog · 08/04/2017 19:23

What a twat! I'd be careful of that one if I were you!