To think that having loud sex in the middle of the day with the patio door wide open isn't appropriate!

[TwinMummy30]

My neighbours are driving me crazy. She whines like a dying cat! Every single time. Sometimes 2 times a day. Today I was left speechless. Midday, I'm hanging the washing , my 3 kids are playing outside and then I heard her screaming "oh yeah, oh god!" Really??? It's a terraced house, their patio door wide open in fact all their windows were and they didn't even bother to shut them. I don't want to spoil things and speak to them but for god's sake don't be so loud. They are in their mid forties. Don't know what to do. That's it really, just had to get it out.

The problem with saying something is they could just accuse you of perving on them or of being jealous

You're not but it's an easy accusation for them to make to try and turn the embarrassment back on you and shut you up

Note through door:

"Hope today's exorcism finally worked.
If not, we recommend a more effective priest...
Yours, all the concerned neighbours".

I think I'd play them some loud Barry White when you hear them get started.

I was thinking Barry white or Marvin Gaye. As long as you like them you can drown her out.

That's hideous... I agree with previous posters - applause sounds good with the whole family gathered in the garden. Or the exorcism note suggested by ThaliaLuxurySpa

how about this? every. single. time.

Exorcism note sounds great 😂

It must have been excruciating for their sons to hear them.

Maybe they're making sex noises on purpose ?

Make sure your kids are completely silent when playing outside before you complain about any noise the neighbours make.. Why so?

Children playing in garden, reasonable noise.

People having sex, not reasonable noise. I can't belive anyone would expose young children to their sex lives. How disgusting.

"Appropriate" - appropriate to what?

Deffo Marvin Gaye. "Let's Get It On" and "Sexual Healing" followed "Je T'aime...moi non plus", "Love to Love You Baby", "Sex Bomb" and "I Want your Sex" repeated on a loop for the given hour.

Meh. Her house. She can have sex as loud as she likes.

So if you had all your family round for a barbecue and she was screaming 'that's it Derek, fuck me right up the arse' out of the patio doors then you would be just fine with that?

ivy 😂😂😂

I think the correct response is to change your wifi name to 'wecanhearyouhavingsex'

Can you make up some Strictly type score boards to hold up by the fence, your family could give them marks out of 10

My garden touches three other's neighbours gardens. All of them have more than two kids and the noise is horrendous. Everyday after 3:30 is like being in the middle of a school playground which is horrific when trying to work from home. It's not 'normal background noise' when kids are screaming at each other and arguing while trampolining.

If I was having loud sex with all the windows open (I wish!) and the neighbours complained about it, I'd go apeshit. So before you do, assess how much noise you and your family makes (objectively) then raise it with them. Remember if you expect them to shut the door and stay in the house if they don't like the noise your family makes in the garden, you can be damn sure they'll expect you to do the same if you don't like their sex sounds.

Shout she's faking it.

Or if you want to retaliate by music: Andrew Lloyd Webber. It is - so I have heard and I am not going to experiment - impossible to maintain an erection to the background of that ghastly musical blancmange.

I feel sorry for anyone who works nightshift when the weather is fabulous flashbacks.

They must know you can hear them - I bet it's part of the thrill. They probably go dogging too.

Telling them is likely to result in them high-fiving each other in delight.

Definitely take the piss in case they are getting off on it. The Postman Pat suggestion and 'She's faking it!!' are the way to go.

Salt n Pepper Push It.

It isn't the level of the noise though is it? It's what the noise so obviously is.

I have no issue with my lovely neighbour belting out a couple of west end numbers summer when her windows are wide open but I'd take exception to her blasting out a couple of NWA classics and Lilly Allens 'fuck you'.

I don't know what you can do other than go and speak to them about the fact your kids can hear them clearly and maybe say they've been questioning it/imitating it

I remember late at night at about 11 so it was really quiet me and DH started having adult times. Didnt realise window was open until we heard some drunk lads clapping and shouting "go on!"
I was mortified!

My vote is clap and shout some encouragement