Best response to 'well as you are on the larger side....' comments

[TotallyFFC]

Literally it comes into every bloomin conversation with my family, they refer to my size when discussing cars, weddings, holiday destinations... it has been used as the reason I should get a people carrier, not go on beach holidays, avoid activities, why I should turn down being a bridesmaid. And I am bulky without doubt but I'm 5.10 and a size 16. I could easily do with losing some weight which I am doing steadily, but this isn't the point, my family define me by it and seem to think they need to remind me every five minutes!!! I've an intelligent individual, I know my own size and I'm happy with me!!! So come mns Aibu to ask for some brilliantly constructed replies?

"Well - I could lose weight, if I wanted - could you stop being a judgemental twat?"

"Well you're on the ugly side but I'm too polite to comment"

As you are on the hard of thinking side...

Did you mean to sound so rude?

Can you repeat that?

You're looking a bit plump yourself lately..........maybe we can diet together

Yeah I know but I can lose weight; you're stuck with your face!

You're 5.10! What would they like you to do? Plane yourself off at the knees?

There is an irony here that I wrote 'I've an intelligent individual', rather than 'I'm'

I have used the 'did you just mean to be so rude' before and was met with, 'I'm not being rude, we are family, I'm being honest'!!

Did you mean to sound so rude?

Please never say this. How people are still suggesting that on here is beyond me

Say 'is that some moustache hair coming through?' Or something about their appearance. But I'm petty,

I get comments from my mum all the time, I just ignore it now.

Just say 'that's quite hurtful, i don't comment on your size so please don't comment on mine.'

Bring family doesn't stop you being rude! It's rudeness not honesty.

I'd straight out ask them to stop commenting on it. Size 16 at your height is not that big.

Try reversing it if any of them are really on the slim side, bring their tiny size into the conversation whenever you can, see how they react!

'From now on, every single time you mention my weight, I am going to scream at top volume right in your face. Maybe after a couple of times you'll realise how fucking rude you're being. Not 'honest', just rude. Stop it, now.'

I would whip out this article, which I would have printed out in advance, and say something like "Ah, you're so old-fashioned. Did you realise it's seen as TERRIBLE parenting to comment on your child's weight these days? Yeah, it's practically seen as abuse, because there are statistics to show that people who have parents continually going on about their weight are more likely to suffer from eating disorders."

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/jul/02/fat-shaming-is-cruel-parents

And you're on the ugly side.
Yes not nice, but. If they can give it They can take it

It's not "being honest" you didn't ask for the info. It's being rude. You don't comment on their appearance all the time. . You're completely aware of your size which is probably at most at your height a size too big anyway?

Are they referring to your height?
Because a size 16 at 5 foot 10 is probably within or at least close to target BMI.

Shove

Read the article. I think it works every which way. People can get equally offended if told they're ridiculously skinny. I've been overweight and mega skinny and had issues of control with my family so I managed my feelings with food.

Op

Size 16 and that height makes you within your bmi. Perhaps some of these comments stem from jealousy. I'd call them out on it by saying you think you're beautiful and do they have an issue with their size.

I can change my size, it'll be harder for you to change your personality

I've always liked "you're ugly, but I can go on a diet" .... or "do you realise what a rude twat you are"

Just tell them if you want a bitch in the family, you'll buy a dog.

"oh, do piss off" works quite well on my family.

Or "EIGHT minutes" on my mum. That was how long it took her after 2 years apart to comment on my weight. So now when she starts to go off on one I just say "EIGHT minutes!!!"

Many years ago one 'helpful' relative took me aside to tell me I was too fat to find a man. I think they thought they were being helpful. This particular part of the family think it is acceptable to regularly pass comment on weight / your career / etc etc. They are just intolerably rude. I think it is a power thing.

Cue many years later, their daughter is now an unmarried mother and they are horrified and think everyone in the family is disapproving (no one cares at all!). The point is they think everyone in the family is thinking in the judgmental way they think.

I have decided the next time one of them brings up my weight I am going to make a direct reference to something about them that is not 'perfect' eg, 'thanks for the feedback. Was going to say I know the number of a good cosmetic dentist if you ever want to get those teeth fixed?'

But I do feel your pain, OP, I have this issue where people always seem to feel they can pass judgment on my weight. It's beyond annoying and generally can leave you feeling a bit winded. Not sure what the answer is. I would quite like to lose a bit of weight (2 stone ish) but a) enjoy food and b) must have quite a slow metabolism and c) did I say I enjoy food?!

*Did you mean to sound so rude?

Please never say this. How people are still suggesting that on here is beyond me confused*

Why? I once said it to someone and it was fucking brilliant!