Best response to 'well as you are on the larger side....' comments

[TotallyFFC]

Literally it comes into every bloomin conversation with my family, they refer to my size when discussing cars, weddings, holiday destinations... it has been used as the reason I should get a people carrier, not go on beach holidays, avoid activities, why I should turn down being a bridesmaid. And I am bulky without doubt but I'm 5.10 and a size 16. I could easily do with losing some weight which I am doing steadily, but this isn't the point, my family define me by it and seem to think they need to remind me every five minutes!!! I've an intelligent individual, I know my own size and I'm happy with me!!! So come mns Aibu to ask for some brilliantly constructed replies?

WorraLiberty

The person was being v.v. passive aggressive and condescending and had clearly spent a lifetime not getting called on it. Cue super blustering and backing down and apologies.

A moment to treasure.

"Did you mean to be so rude?" works brilliantly on those snidey types who are horrid to people, whilst pretending that they are actually being nice to them.

It doesn't work on the just plain rude types though.

User1486 such a shitty thing for them to say.

Hecate I like that approach!

strangler's hands hahahhahahahhahaaa!! I think I do, too!!

"Well, I can run off extra pounds. You can't run off being a dick."

I think the best response would be to stop dead in your tracks, stare, and say very slowly "Could you repeat that please. I don't think I quite heard."

Thing is I know I am a bit overweight - BMI wise I about 28 so for health reasons I would like to lose some, it is the judgement and attitude that they can tell me constantly about it. My weight doesn't limit me in any way, I don't not go places or not wear things, I'm confident etc but accept I need to lose it. It does hurt though and ignoring hasn't worked. My family are generally weight/ image obsessed and quite materialistically orientated. The latest comment came from my mother as she thinks it is good I'll have a big gown to wear on my graduation as being on the larger side.... sod the fact I've just earned a phd in three years with two young children and full time working (the main contributor to the weight actually!) - no what matters is a gown covers my tummy! In all seriousness I do think she is happy and proud of me, just annoyed this is even a thing to consider!

My response is always at least I earn in pounds more than I weigh in pounds. That's when their insecurities come out.

Wow congrats on the PhD, what an achievement! I do think you should walk out of the room every time they say these things.

Congratulations OP! Such an achievement. Who cares about a bit of a tum with all that on your plate. I'm sure they are very proud of you.

Hecate - that's wonderful! Love it

Whilst all the witty, PA and clever answers are great I think that the best response is always to be direct and clear. I also think it's useful to not only convey the fact that you find it rude or upsetting but to also give clear instructions as to what they need to do about it.

"I find that rude and I want you to stop saying it in future"

BTW. I quite like the phrase 'did you mean to be so rude'. It's direct and puts the onus back on the person who was rude. The other good thing about it is that it's easy to remember and say. Thinking of the clever witty responses on the spot isn't always easy.

You could be vulgar
"Do you think it's because semen has so many calories?"
Or
"Yeah, you must burn off a loads of calories wanking to stay that thin"

Or honest

"Actually no, Stupidity is now the only acceptable prejudice"..Pause and smile, " So...Let's talk about you instead"

Or rude back
"Were like twins !!!My waistline, your iq..Both barley into double digits "

Sarcastic
Screams..Oh my god where did all that fat come from I'd never noticed..God..Ogh..God..In god..Get it oooooffffffffffffffffff me!
Or
Oh my god, that's brilliant, that really helped, that last comment has totally turned my life around. Now I feel an overwhelming urge to eat nothing but celery, you should start a religion or something

yeah, i know, but people keep coming round to tell me what a cunt you are, and they always bring cake.

My favourite so far 😂😂😂

When I read your thread title, I expected you to be massively overweight. But size 5'10" and a size 16 is 'big' or 'large build' but not fat.

And to the lady who said she looks chubby at 5'10 and a size 12: no you don't look chubby, you have a wonderful figure, please appreciate it.

I can always lose weight but you'll always have a face like a cunt.

Appreciate that may cause a few issues if said to family though

My response would be.

"WOW! really, I had no idea. Oh just minute, yes I did, because it is all you ever say to me"