To correct my toddler's speech (nicely)

[glitterjellybean]

NC for this. I have a dd coming up for 2 years old. She's bright and happy and her vocabulary is coming on in leaps in bounds.

Her df and I see eye to eye on pretty much everything except one thing. Speech.

Bit of background, and as much as I hate labels, dh is very working class (as in he's a total grafter with a common accent) and I'm from an upper middle class family where I was corrected to say the full words and names not abbreviate. If my mum heard me say the word "telly" she'd come back from the dead to tell me off 🙊.

It started off when she was small with my utter refusal to the whole "say taaaaaa!" thing. She now says please and thank you anyway, so it seemed unnecessary for her to learn two ways of saying it.

Now this last week "yes" has turned into "yep" and I keep (gently) saying "no xxx we say yes".

Dh thinks I'm being stuffy but I've never been turned down for a job in my life because I speak (in his words) "posh" and I'd like to give our dc as much of a chance as possible in life.

Dh is constantly getting annoyed because people judge him on his accent and the way he speaks, and we even had an incident in a posh cafe the other week where a patron made a comment loudly about "letting anybody in now". So surely if he's had issues like this he wouldn't want his kids to go through the same.

Lol this is a bit more detailed than I was expecting but as long as I'm doing it kindly and constructively (and not in a way that's demeaning) it's not a bad thing to speak "correctly"?

Please don't say 'no, we say xyz'. It's really not how children this age learn and makes it sound like she is doing something wrong.

You need to model behaviour and language, so you and her df need to be on the same page. However, I think you are being a bit silly, there is nothing wrong with 'yep' and your way of speaking is in no way superior to your dd's dad.

I would correct pronunciations and grammar but not worry about tv telly or roll / bap, tea/ cha. As a grown up they can choose what words they use.

surely if he's had issues like this he wouldn't want his kids to go through the same.

Instead of wasting energy worrying about a dropped aitch, spend it modelling for your kids ways to stand up politely but assertively to arseholes like the man in the cafe.

My background and accent are common as muck but I somehow made it through school, A levels and uni and have a good job and a nice life.

I wonder what effect it's having on your DD to hear you tease your DH for the way he says words.

Having read your comments about life prospects, Offsted and feeling more comfortable in certain places than him, you sound like a total snob.

Urrrrgh!
So if this is legit and you really must force your child to speak in a way you deem right do NOT correct them.
If you do, you are not as clever as you think you are.

You constantly tell small children they are saying things wrong unless you want them to develop a stutter, stop speaking or lose their confidence.

Model back what you want them to say. So if they say 'cor blimey I couldn't arf murder sum jellied eels guvnor' gently model back 'Gosh, I am famished. Where is cook with the tea things'

speaking as an SLT, correcting language doesn't work, not for children with normal speech but with bad grammar etc, and not for children with disordered speech.
The way to get her to do what you want, is to model the speech you want to hear from her.

The posh v common thing is a different issue entirely that i'm also rolling my eyes over.

i'm with you on ta - it's horrible. see also 'woof-woof' for dog, choo choo trains, and those awful types who summer in London. vulgar.

If speaking in a 'better" accent gives you an attitude like the twat in the cafe and you want your DD growing up like that, then crack on

oooh look Great we posted at exactly the same time...spooooky....

One of my children has had a lot of speech therapy.

Correcting a child has to be done careful. I was always told to model back. E.g. Your DD says Yep when you ask if she wants a drink , you then say Yes , you would like a drink.

If you have to correct her do it kindly without giving her a complex.

Correcting speech at this age can and does cause stutters. Please be mindful of this.

Dh thinks I'm being stuffy but I've never been turned down for a job in my life because..

Nor have I and I speak like a docker.
Sometimes.
Sometimes I speak like a native Londoner who manages not to swear and say 'cor blimey' during meetings.

Us common folk are adaptable like that.

'My husband is a grafter with a common accent and I am upper middle class, and he doesn't speak properly, and I'm afraid our child may turn out like him'

You couldn't make it up.

You can correct the language, but by saying 'you'd like to watch some television?' You'd like some waTer?

Don't correct a 2 yr olds speech! As others have said, that it not the way to get them to learn, and could possibly damage self esteem, confidence and your relationship. Even "gently" - telling a 2yr old they are wrong all the time is awful!

And if you put too much emphasis on making your children speak properly they'll likely end up speaking awful common like just to piss you off

I grew up in a family like yours - my mum speaks English "properly" (she's bi-ligual but posh bless her) and my dad has a broad northern accent. I was never corrected by my mum - although I was by my grandad and all that did was make me go as northern as I possibly could when I saw him.
I speak very well now, I have a northern accent but I speak "properly" and can turn it on to impress people that are shallow enough to care about that stuff.
Stop correcting, that's not how children learn anyway, she'll learn by example.

wow mrsd its almost like we both know it to be true....despite my common as muck accent.

I do agree that anyone who IS upper middle class and 'posh,' wouldn't claim they are. OP is from a working class family that has done OK and made a decent living and are probably homeowners, but she is not upper middle class. That shows in her posts. Is this thread a wind up I wonder?

Sorry I haven't read through all the posts so it might've already been said
But the way to correct them isn't to tell them at this age isn't to tell them off or to say no it's to repeat a sentence back to them and saying the word correctly.

So you said are says "yep"
E.g. You ask her is she had a nice morning, and she replies "yep"
You can say "yes you did? That's lovely what have you been doing bla bla bla"

Sorry that might not be the best of examples but I hope it helps :)

Frankly great I think its a bloody shame they let us anywhere near small children.
(I joke but I have seen lots of threads about childcare profs with dodgy accents on MN).

You couldn't make it up

Oh but you could.

@serialweightwatcher

Same in our family - DH has broad yorkshire accent and I'm from middle class family. I always corrected mine.

So is no-one from Yorkshire middle class or upper class then?

Someone made a similar comment by announcing her husband is a working class scouse.

FFS, the way someone speaks, and where they are from, does not dictate their class.

double face palm

'Cor blimey' during meetings

I always correct my lot. We are Shropshire/West Mid border so can sound either Yam Yam or a bit Yokel depending on the word! I pull them up if they drop an 'H', don't pronouce a 'T' or drawl words. Oh and I loath Americanisms which creep in occasionally 'Trash' 'Sidewalk'...they get a short shrift on that

"...So if they say 'cor blimey I couldn't arf murder sum jellied eels guvnor' gently model back 'Gosh, I am famished. Where is cook with the tea things'..."

Thanks, MrsDV...proper made me giraffe, that!