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Original poster

To correct my toddler's speech (nicely)

233 replies

glitterjellybean · 07/04/2017 08:49

NC for this. I have a dd coming up for 2 years old. She's bright and happy and her vocabulary is coming on in leaps in bounds.

Her df and I see eye to eye on pretty much everything except one thing. Speech.

Bit of background, and as much as I hate labels, dh is very working class (as in he's a total grafter with a common accent) and I'm from an upper middle class family where I was corrected to say the full words and names not abbreviate. If my mum heard me say the word "telly" she'd come back from the dead to tell me off 🙊.

It started off when she was small with my utter refusal to the whole "say taaaaaa!" thing. She now says please and thank you anyway, so it seemed unnecessary for her to learn two ways of saying it.

Now this last week "yes" has turned into "yep" and I keep (gently) saying "no xxx we say yes".

Dh thinks I'm being stuffy but I've never been turned down for a job in my life because I speak (in his words) "posh" and I'd like to give our dc as much of a chance as possible in life.

Dh is constantly getting annoyed because people judge him on his accent and the way he speaks, and we even had an incident in a posh cafe the other week where a patron made a comment loudly about "letting anybody in now". So surely if he's had issues like this he wouldn't want his kids to go through the same.

Lol this is a bit more detailed than I was expecting but as long as I'm doing it kindly and constructively (and not in a way that's demeaning) it's not a bad thing to speak "correctly"?

OP posts:
NeedABumChange · 07/04/2017 11:13

It's important for children to speak properly, it makes it much easier when they start spelling and writing. Nothing about posh or not just speaking correctly, using words not slang.

NotYoda · 07/04/2017 11:13

OP why have you changed your user name, within the thread?

I am reporting this bollocks thread and my eyes are joining Worra's in the back of our respective heads

user1489261248 · 07/04/2017 11:13

I don't think I'm posh to be honest I think I'm just a regular person. However it constantly being told I "speak posh" so it's obviously something that other people pick up on.

So everyone constantly says you speak posh now? Hmm

Oooooooookay..........

By the way, no-one here thinks you are posh either...

Just the fact that people have made sweeping judgements about me and my personality based on what information I've given here

Why are you surprised? You have come across and very stuck-up and judgemental. Also, why do you care? No-one here knows who you are... Confused

glitteryjellybean · 07/04/2017 11:13

*rant

multivac · 07/04/2017 11:14

rather than saying "No, we say ......" Its negative and all your dd will pick up on is the word 'No'

Well, that and the fact that daddy clearly isn't part of the 'we' mummy is talking about. Which is an odd message to give your child.

glitteryjellybean · 07/04/2017 11:15

@NotYoda as previously stated I'm identifiable by friends and family on here by this conversation. I dropped a y by accident when switching back to my NC name. I do regularly post on MN. I can honestl hand on heart say I'm not a troll!

user1489261248 · 07/04/2017 11:15

What other username has the OP posted under 'NotYoda'?'

multivac · 07/04/2017 11:16

(Clarification of earlier point noted, ta*; that makes sense - in the context of your argument, at least)

*see what I did there?

NotYoda · 07/04/2017 11:16

Ok

Well I'll be deleted then

Good luck

user - glitter/glittery.

glitteryjellybean · 07/04/2017 11:16

@user1489261248 I accidentally dropped the y so originally glitterjellybean and I've ended up as glitteryjellybean. Hardly a huge name change and more me switching between my other persona on other threads and mistyping!

user1489261248 · 07/04/2017 11:17

Oh I never noticed that. Thanks NotYoda. Smile

Bit weird.

CotswoldStrife · 07/04/2017 11:19

Interesting thread, whether genuine or not!

I have a slight regional accent - when in my home town people there say I sound posh and have no accent at all, but away from the area and on the phone people always spot it! I think accents add a bit of colour to speech.

My mum said she was teased when she started work about her accent so she tried to lose it a bit and make sure that I didn't have quite such a strong accent, she probably succeeded in this (apart from me occasionally being called Prince Charles in school) as at one point, even close friends and family couldn't tell the difference between me and my step-sister on the phone Hmm

As PP have said, if your child has received speech therapy they generally tell you to model back the correct version to the child. There's no need to say that they are wrong though.

As me and my step-siblings have all moved away from our original town, our children all have a variety of accents now!

user1489261248 · 07/04/2017 11:22

You can't 'accidentally' drop a letter on your username within a thread, and accidentally use another name; you have to register a new name. So I guess you must have both names registered.

Doesn't bother me, I don't care. It wasn't me that noticed it anyway.

glitteryjellybean · 07/04/2017 11:24

@user1489261248

Yes you can. On the phone app you can change your name and use the same log in as many times as you want.

To correct my toddler's speech (nicely)
Catsick36 · 07/04/2017 11:24

I was taught to speak properly when i was growing up. I can adapt my accent to fit in wherever I am now. If you don't know yep is yes then it will take longer to adapt and ultimately blend in and make the best of the social you're in.

tinytemper66 · 07/04/2017 11:25

I dont get why people name change. If you cant write something on here without being 'identified' then perhaps you shouldn`t write it at all. Written in a very Welsh accent! Hmm

Zippydoodah · 07/04/2017 11:25

I would and do correct for things.like that. My son is copying children from school by dropping ts. I did the same when younger and a bit more so for attention but it was a phase. So I'd say correct without making too much of a deal of it. I just tease ds gently and say there are ts in butter t t t and we laugh

glitteryjellybean · 07/04/2017 11:26

@Catsick36 That makes a lot of sense. Even by modelling back it reaffirms the meaning for both as well. Good point 👍🏼

user1489261248 · 07/04/2017 11:27

Yes I know you can change your name, but you can't 'accidentally' do it. As I said, I don't care anyway, and it wasn't even me that mentioned it!!!

SapphireStrange · 07/04/2017 11:27

If you don't know yep is yes then it will take longer to adapt and ultimately blend in and make the best of the social you're in.

But the DD does know that yep is yes, otherwise she wouldn't be using it in contexts where the meaning is 'yes'. Confused Grin

NotMyPenguin · 07/04/2017 11:29

From my experience (I grew up in another country but have a British mother) your child's accent will largely be shaped by their social circle at school. So this may be a source of increasing frustration to you as you may find you are unable to have much impact!

The best advice I can give if you think this is important - and I'm not saying it isn't - is to think about where you enrol your child at school and talk to some of the older children and see if they pronounce words correctly.

I really hate this, but it's true that people do judge others based on their accents. I actually feel very lucky to have a gentle North American accent as it means that people find it hard to 'place' me socially, but I'm conscious of it happening to other friends.

glitteryjellybean · 07/04/2017 11:30

@tinytemper66 I had previously talked about the "ta" thing and got ripped a new one by posters. So, as you can imagine I had a feeling I was going to end up being labelled as a snobby elitist twat by asking this question and would rather keep that separate from my other posts where people are a bit nicer to me. Plus I've had a few friendship issues I've posted about under my normal username and I'd like to keep anonymous. There's is quite a bit of identifying info in this thread if people know me irl.

TheProblemOfSusan · 07/04/2017 11:30

I grew up with a slight northern accent, went to a school where that was not keen on that sort of thing, went to London uni and now my accent is all over the place - it changes depending on who I'm speaking to,within a range of northern to London university accent. I can't keep the bloody thing straight, I would think if I moved to the states I'd be drawling within three weeks.

Being able to speak with a "posher" accent has been an advantage but so can the other way - I don't alienate people and can fit in a bit better, though I'll never be really broad.

Your child will probably be able to do the same as they'll be able to learn from both parents' accents.

But teaching that one is better than the other is dreadful and made me really resent my school for doing it. What is genuinely useful is being able to speak clearly and without using slang - you can usefully model this for your child.

Still working on not fucking swearing mind.

Stripeymug · 07/04/2017 11:32

I have a posh accent, I am not from a posh family, by no means but I had (really) delayed speech and had a Speech Therapist who taught me to speak, I sound different from my family and at times I was picked on at school, mimicked etc for it, I tried doing another accent but I am woefully bad it, could never be an actor.

However I wouldn't have it any other way now, it has helped me hold my own in very senior business dealings and when working for Canadian and American companies I am sure that the interviewers noted my accent before recommending me for the role, when I am nervous I get posher, I don't mean to. I am not suggesting that everyone tries to talk posh but I would recommend teaching children a good command of our language from a young age, school will bring in slang etc but you can ask for this not to be used at home.

My Mum also taught me that manners were important and didn't cost anything, this is a value that has served me well too.

glitteryjellybean · 07/04/2017 11:32

Sorry @user1489261248 I misunderstood your previous post. I wasn't meant to be patronising I just inferred that I would have to sign up with a new email address etc from what was said. I was just changing to and from in a hurry and dropped the letter by accident. Nothing shady about it.

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