Am I being an utter bitch?

[Bigblug]

Dp is incredibly creative. I'm incredibly not. He's been working on a play for months, and was finally shown to the public on Tuesday, with great reception and reviews. I told him my opinion (that I thought it was brilliant) but, because I'm not really creatively minded, I don't really know how to express myself further than that. I know he's been swept away with the success of it, but I've felt rather interrogated since, asked a million questions about how I think it went/what i liked ect and I don't really know what to say. I finally snapped, and asked him to stop asking me questions. I liked it, it was good, it worked really well. He's now really hurt and upset because he's so proud of it, but I openly admit I'm just not the right person to talk to about it. Obviously, being his partner, he wants me to be the right person to talk about it with because he cares about my opinion.

You could adapt the quote"talking about music is like dancing about architecture ". Often attributed to Elvis Costello.

Actually talking about writing is exceptionally important for writers generally.

But you need to do it with other writers usually ( or people in the industry at least).

Are you ok with him not earning?

Actually...

I'm a bit like you and inadvertently upset people. I'd feel a bit like a theatre critic under the circumstances and I don't do enthusiasm well either. It's even worse if I'm pressured to be that way

There's a limited number of times you can say "well done dear", I think he's a bit much expecting so much flattery.

Hey OP I'm one of those 'creative' types and I can never think of saying much beyond it was good/great/excellent. Not everyone can elaborate on why the like or don't like things and they shouldn't really have to either. I'm not a professional critic for that reason (and I'm sure many others).

My brother sounds like your oh. He constantly asks my opinion on works in progress (mostly screenplays) and I'm always honest but equally constructive. He doesn't like it when it's not 'glory to God' type praise but he gets his arse licked by everyone else so doesn't need another sycophant. Why ask if he doesn't want real opinions, right? Then with his final works I can think of anything more to say that I haven't already covered in production other than it's good (and sometimes I even say that when I don't think it is to keep the peace).

I think there are plenty of relationships where situations arise, where one person isn't actively interested in the other.

But it is terribly wearing when the other person doesn't acknowledge your interests. My ex was obsessed with video games and could talk about them for hours. I have absolutely no interest. But part of being a partner is acknowledging that it was important to him. By contrast, the last day of my marriage was when I came home after winning a very big competition in my sport that I'd spent 15 years working towards, and he said 'You know I don't care about you wasting a day on that, what's for dinner?'. Being in a relationship means that sometimes you have to put up with the other person talking about something you aren't interested in, and making all the right noises, because it is important to them.

Asking for and accepting feedback is hard.

No age is too old for diagnosis, especially when it could make a big impact on your life. You'd have support and know what to do in these situations. You could have benefits possibly, which would improve your financial situation. I would propose it to him as a positive thing, as he could get a lot more support too.

I know some have gone how on Earth can you suspect x/y/z. I guess it's from experience, knowing what an obsessive behaviour looks like, also knowing you could reassure the other person beyond all doubt, they'd be so focussed on intricacies, they spot something you don't. Needing the reassurance despite rave reviews.

I honestly didn't mean to offend, it's just characteristics you're aware of if you're immersed with persons who have such issues. Which is why I'd drop anything to be with any of my siblings, as I know how to support them best.

I should add whilst I'm creative, my DH is supportive and complementary over stuff I've done in the past. I don't expect him to understand my interests as they're really different.

I don't think you were being a bitch at all, OP.

As you say, some people just aren't very expressive when it comes to certain things. It's great that we all see the world differently, because if everyone saw it the way your DH does, he wouldn't be special and his work wouldn't be as valuable or popular as it is.

Some people find it incredibly difficult to analyse certain art forms in that granular detail that the creator of those works takes for granted.

I think this requires a bit of understanding on your DH's part, as it seems that he wasn't being sensitive to your insecurities in pressing you to critically analyse his work when it's his forte, not yours.