Stag parties

[loveithateitmum]

I have no problem with DH going on stag parties. I'm always encouraging him to catch up with friends, go for drinks etc. In recent years he has been involved in a few weddings (best man, usher etc) and they all have had numerous stag parties (one abroad, one for special friends and one in close town for everyone else). I think it's a bit excessive but if he wants to go fine. However since we've had children I think spending a lot of money and holiday time away from us isn't really fair.

Anyway he's just told me he's away on business all next week and will fly back and go straight to the stag that's in town for everyone else. He is going to Spain in 3 weeks for the abroad stag. I've asked him not to have a big one, stay for a few hours (starts at 1pm) and come home as I won't have seen him all week. Am I being unreasonable? I haven't told him what to do just what I'd like him to do and it's up to him.

No I don't think yabu, if it was DH I'd hope he'd want to see me too!

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all, and I would hope that after being away all week he will choose to spend some time with you and the DC.
Not really sure why anyone would want three stag parties, or why anyone other than the stag should go to all of them.

So, you want him to go to a Stag do that starts at 1pm, and leave at 3pm? That's never going to happen, and it's a big ask, given that things won't really get lively until the evening. He's on business next week, so that's not a jolly. Do you get time out? If so, that's good, if not, there is an imbalance that needs addressing.

I didn't say stay till 3pm I meant come home before I go to sleep so we can have a catch up after a week apart. Also he's going on the abroad stag 3 weeks later for 5 days

YABU. Like you'd get much sense out of him anyway.

I don't think you're being unreasonable in wanting to spend some time with him. You are probably being unrealistic to think you'll have a worthwhile conversation after he's been in the pub (or wherever) all afternoon. I'd leave him to it and take the next Sunday for myself.

Good idea Moany. I might go out all day on Saturday and leave him with DCs and hangover or is that me just being a b**ch

Did he have a stag do when you got married? Because I see where you're coming from, but if everyone turned out for his stag do it's a bit crap for him to not bother with theirs in return.

Is he going on 2 stag dos for the same groom?
If so i think he is being unreasonable especially since he works away and won't see you or the DC's.

Yes he did have a stag party. I'm not saying not to go but just not a massive one, walking in at 4am, then hungover and tired/grumpy the next day. If it was the only stag party I would not say anything and would fully expect him to stay out till the last man standing but he is going to the 2nd stag in 3 weeks

YANBU to want to see him, but perhaps it would be better to ask him to see you before the stag and ask him to join in the evening? Drunk DH isn't really quality time.

Good point smallbee. Maybe I'll suggest he come home for a bit then go out for the night.