to ask what's the worst thing you've ever bought?

[y0rkier0se]

I'm moving house next week, and i'm in the process of -procrastinating- packing. I found some ceramic zebras that I bought at an auction a couple of years back. They're two cream zebras, with grey and blue paint covering them, with crystals around the base. It's truly horrendous, the only possible justification for buying them was that from where I was sat in the large room you couldn't see quite how bad they were. And I really really wanted to use the paddle [grin and they're so bad that no-one else bidded. DP constantly jokes that they're going to get damaged in transit but as terrible as they are, I don't want to get rid as I laugh every time I see them. Anyone else got any 'seemed a good idea at the time' buys?

An eyeliner pen - can't think of the make now but my God it was horrendous. It was sealed, so brand new, but never actually worked. Couldn't get anything out of it at all.

I once bought two little china salt and pepper shakers in the shape of cats but one paw was raised on each one so if you put them next to each other it looked like they were fist bumping! At the time I thought they were amazing and ever so kitch but I have now realised I was so very wrong but still love them.I only got them about 2 years ago but they will be staying with me forever and then they will be handed down to my least favourite family member when I depart this life

A timeshare. Rid of it now thank God.

Mary, what a good idea! The zebras shall be my legacy. Makes me hope DP outlives me because he would be fuming . Oh no Honey!

You made me laugh with your tale of your auction buy OP. My dh loves auctions and some of his purchases have passed into family legend so I'm wary of putting them on here as they could be very identifying, suffice to say one item he came back with provoked a stunned reaction of "What the fuck is that?" followed by a fit of the giggles from everyone who viewed it.

A brand new Vauxhall Corsa in 1997.

A 1.4 engine and 0-60 in three and a half weeks. God only knows how they managed to make a car so sluggish

A house. Sold it 3 months later after realising my ex was truely a tit and came out 10k less through fees etc.

A stupid little hand held hoover for cleaning the stairs. No oomph at all, battery flat in two minutes and picks up sod all fluff. About forty quid it was. Robbed.

My old house. Despite having a survey (not the basic one, I paid for a more in depth one), loads went wrong with the house. Central heating broke down, new boiler was a dud and had constant repairs, leaking roof, bodged extension, horrible neighbours, it was a disaster. I sold it at a loss in the recession and didnt even care, happiest day of my life was leaving that dump.

DH once bought a homemade cross stitched picture of Tutankhamen, complete with gaudy gold plated frame. In his defence, it was a charity auction and we couldn't see the items. He just heard the words 'Ancient Egypt' and started bidding!

To be fair Red, i'm normally a rational sensible person but get me in an auction room and the excitement of holding up the paddle and.. the zebras happened. I also bought three cases of wine that day. Ooh Cary I bought one of those from Sainsbury's, it was a hoover one, about £40 for the car and that was crap too!

My last car. It was £600, a 10 year old automatic Peugeot 206 and I bought it from a dealership. Within weeks it started losing power on hills and five months later it was scrapped for £20 because it needed a whole new gearbox. Looks like the dealership did a patch repair and fobbed it off to the first idiot person who came along.

Total lemon.

A vegetable chopper thing. You put the veg on the chopping board and popped this over then pressed the handle on top a few times.

It was useless. Really bad.

I was going to say a house but someone else got there first - but actually the house wasn't a bad purchase, I should have just about it in my own name rather than in joint....

There's so much competition in my mind for this - I'm an advertiser's dream I have had to stop going to auctions, as I can't be trusted with a paddle, and I've also had to step away from eBay. Definitely up there is a very dodgy knitted cushion (I think it was a heart - I felt sorry for the vendor) a broken wooden camel (no, I don't know what I was thinking either) and more iffy outfits than I care to recall.

Probably for the moment, the beanbag armchair, that's "just like a real armchair, and you'll never know" etc etc. It isn't and you do

I too am the less than proud owner of a hand held vac that has about as much power as an asthmatic mouse sucking on a straw. Holds its charge for all of three seconds.
I thought we'd be rid of it when the charger vanished, but no. DH suddenly had a fit of the tidies and found it in a random box.
Or…
The brand were called Xyron. They sold a machine that you could connect to your computer and it would cut out any shape you wanted out of card or paper.
In theory. I'm lucky I got it reduced but it was utter shite.
DH's bloody Rover.
A 2nd hand Rover 45, looked OK, seemed nice enough and a good price.
DH drove it home, I followed. When we got home I asked 'Is there supposed to be a lot of white vapour coming out the exhaust, is it a Rover thing?'
Blown head gasket.
Well the dealer did fix it for free, but it was a harbinger of things to come. It was never reliable, but it was mostly just the less important stuff that slowly broke. We ended up with a fan that only worked on the highest setting, something went wrong with the CD player, various bits and pieces got loose.
The day we put a deposit down for a better car was a good day. Despite the Rover killing its own clutch in the dealers car park meaning we had to walk home. Bastard thing.

A futon. What a horrible sofa and an even worse bed. Lumpy and yet too soft, but too hard

How does that even happen?

A robot vacuum cleaner - it was supposed to be the perfect answer to my lack of domesticity.

It gets stuck under the furniture or on the edge of rugs - basically I have to either clear rooms of everything on the floor, or supervise it whilst it mootles round.

It is supposed to take itself back to its charging station when the battery is near flat, but it can't.

All manner of lotions and potions that never do what they promise - better off with soap and water.

I have a handheld Hoover that I got with Nectar points and it was reduced but was still £40. Piece of crap (spit the theme here?)

A spa day that was so crowded we couldn't sit, let alone lounge.

My BIL bought us a two foot sculpture of Predator from a holiday in Mexico. It's fucking terrifying and lived in the attic (DH didn't think this through when he let DS have a peep up there).

A wedding ring for exh

My favourite so far is the predator statue Makes me feel almost smug about the zebras! I've always wanted a robotic vacuum cleaner and the robotic lawn mower but I did wonder if they'd be a waste of money

Your zebras sound fab! How big are they? hoping they are at least 3ft high

I've been conned by the handheld vacuum cleaner too - I gave it to my youngest DD when she left home, and I doubt she's even plugged it in, to know how shit it is.

My worst buy was a vegetable spiraliser that spiralised everything including my fingers.

I also bought the hand held Hoover from sainsbury's for £40 and yes, it's shit! Loved the comparison to an asthmatic mouse, couldn't have put it better myself!

Unfortunately not, they're about 60cm high. I predict a sudden influx of Sainsbury's handheld hoovers on eBay

All the cars I have ever bought which sits at a total of 4 including a rover 45 with mahogany dash I hated that thing it was mouldy and only last 2 weeks before the engine seized i was so happy I got my money back from the dealership.

Oh my god CigarsofthePharoahs I had a xyron thing too - it promised so much. I hated it - don't think I used it more than twice. Tried to give it to charity- eventually chucked it.