To think parents with noisy children should take them out

[daffodil10]

Just been to my sons Easter service in church. The children were trying their best to put on a beautiful performance. A sibling in the middle of the church was screaming and driving the noisiest, most clattery truck up and down the stone floor. So noisy that no one could hear the children's play and special Easter prayers that they'd written. When my two were toddlers I would have either stood as far back as possible or stepped outside until they calmed down.

TBH I don't remember having to do either of these things as they both knew how to behave in church. I always took a large bag of snacks and quiet toys. The refusal of other parents to show some respect to the other children is one thing I won't miss about primary school when mine go to secondary.

It's really sad for the children who have practised long and hard to have their performance spoilt because inconsiderate parents won't control their toddlers or remove them.

This is why so many schools now ban toddlers from performances, which is a shame, but it has to be done when parents don't take responsibility.

Sometimes they let toddlers attend the dress rehearsal which seems a fair compromise.

Yes but by you missing the service the happy couple were able to hear their wedding vows and enjoy their wedding

Sure, and I would never have done otherwise. But my point was that sometimes parents have done everything they can to avoid their child making a noise and for reasons beyond their control it happens, and that it isn't just up to parents to be considerate. At weddings if you have kids there then being late for your own wedding so making young children sit still for more than twice as if you had been there on time is not a good idea.

Sorry elkegel I didn't understand that.

elkegel Are you saying that newlyweds should avoid making their small children guests wait too long?

Because if you are, well - I have never used this word before, but here goes- that's a bit entitled.

Yes I am. Not just their small children guests but anyone, including the venue, registrar, etc. It's the height of rudeness and entitlement to be very late to your own wedding.

For a lot of people it's a superstition that the bride should be late

But not by 45 minutes. For some venues they'd be almost on to the next wedding. The vicar asked me to be on time. So I was.

I'm really surprised that the Vicar/Priest didn't take charge and ask for quiet.

I've known 'rowdy' situations in Church and they've always been controlled immediately.

@elkegel if people can't parent their toddler for 45 minutes (or take them out) then in my eyes they've failed as a parent.

I don't have this issue at dd's school thank goodness. All the parents handle their toddlers brilliantly during performances - taking them outside when they scream etc.

I still flabbergasted at a vicar, in a school, calling a small child a "little bugger"...Horrific!

Yanbu OP in normal circumstances a parent should absolutely remove their child if they kick off.

And I agree with elkgel too, being 45 mins late is massively inconsiderate. How many people enjoy sitting on a pew with nothing to do for 45 minutes? How hard is it to respect your guests and the vicar, and be on time?

I still flabbergasted at a vicar, in a school, calling a small child a "little bugger"

Have I totally misread? I thought that poster used "noisy little bugger" in lieu of the kid's name, not that the Vicar called the kid such

Apparently the vicar said could someone take the noisy little bugger out? I thought there were quotation marks, I could be misremembering though.

YANBU regarding taking noisy child out to quieten/calm them down.
YABU with the judgey remark about how your toddlers knew how to behave in a church though.
My DS is 2.6 and whilst he is overall a very good boy, he's still a toddler who sometimes has his moments and I wouldn't expect him to understand at his age, that making loud noises or crying or whatever, is not acceptable in a church in comparison to anywhere else.
If he is going to start he really does not care where he is or how inconvenient it is for anybody else, obviously I do so I would take him out, and understand being judged if I didn't, but not to be judged for the fact he was loud in the first place because he should know

^this.

I drove for 2 hours to a friends wedding when my son was a few months old. We walked into the church, my son started screaming so I walked straight back out again. I missed my friends wedding but at least I didn't ruin it. Whatever the occasion, if your child is being noisy, it's only fair to take them out until they can be quiet.

My grandson goes to pre-school and their Christmas play included the reception year from the school it is attached to. The lovely Head welcomed everyone and said how hard all the children had worked to learn their play, and although it was lovely to see so many little brothers and sisters there too, please take them out if they are crying/making noise so everyone else can still hear. I thought she said it in a very lovely way but you could see some of the parents really weren't happy and more or less slammed out when their kids kicked off. It did make a huge difference though. Sadly I've got quite a few video'ed school plays that you can't hear a word of thanks to some screeching child...........................

Elkegel It's not your a wedding for your kids' amusement. It's your friends' wedding. They can do what they like, including being late. As you are your kids' parent, you get to parent.

It's important to maintain a distinction between performances and church services-especially Eucharists.
Yes, definitely take out noisy children etc for the former (which I have done on numerous occasions...) but for the latter-the point of the Gospel is that it is open to everybody-including tantrummy/noisy children (and adults!)
We fail, badly, as a community if anyone feels that they are being judged/have to leave because of their children's behaviour. The Eucharist is exactly where we should be able to bring our whole selves - with all the messy annoying bits - as loved children of God and as a whole community. We are exhorted not to pretend we're perfect, so why should our children have to? There is something about enabling everyone to be able to worship/say their prayers but that can be helped along enormously with a space provided-at the front so children can see what's going on/feel involved, appropriate toys/activities etc but a huge amount can be done by providing an atmosphere of welcome and hospitality towards small children which can relax the parents and the children. Plus recognising that e.g. Dancing about in the aisles during the service is a perfectly acceptable way to respond to liturgy by small children.
Church should not be where we feel compelled bring our best behaviour and shunned if we fail.

I would disagree TheClaws. Being 45 minutes late is rude and inconsiderate, your wedding or not.