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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Upset about critiscm of unborn child name.

529 replies

patronsaintofglocks · 05/04/2017 13:22

To cut a long story short,

I am pregnant with my first child and DP and I have chosen two names.

For a girl: Noah
(I understand that many people prefer the spelling Noa for a female but we don't.)

For a boy: Ezra

I am sick and tired of my family telling us to change our minds/names. It's getting me down and making me second guess myself.

Does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:
Buck3t · 05/04/2017 15:40

"so many negative responses" that should have read

user1489261248 · 05/04/2017 15:40

"because any name is a unisex name if you want it to be."

Sounds very noble of your son Annie, but unfortunately, most people will not agree, no matter how much you think they will, (or hope they will..) However much you think others will be the same; most children won't think 'hey any name is a unisex name if you want it to be' ...

They will take the piss. Very few will be 'accepting,' and think like your boy does.

LadyPW · 05/04/2017 15:41

Why would you give a girl a name that will ensure she'll be bullied at school?

WritingHome · 05/04/2017 15:42

Why do people always trot out the 'other kids will bully them if you give your kid a name that's not Emily or Adam etc .

Our dd has a very unusual name, related to her cultural heritage and she attends a rural school in a small non-diverse community and has never once had anything negative said about her name. It's just her name and the other kids accept it as such.

Name your baby whatever suits you and feck everyone else.

Don't discuss with friends or family until it is a done deal

Fennecfoxmummy · 05/04/2017 15:42

We told people we planned Bettsie or Maggie fo a girl and Fennic for a boy. Prole loved them people hated them I couldnt have cared less. We have a Fennic and we love it and most if our friends and family do now too. They'll get used to it its a case of having to its not their child is it Smile I also think a girl names Noah is lovely

ArcheryAnnie · 05/04/2017 15:42

Bunty no, I don't think so. He came into my room to talk to me about something else straight after. He genuinely doesn't seem to think it's a big deal.

farangatang · 05/04/2017 15:43

Unisex names that are more popular for boys in one country, can be equally as popular for girls in another. The world is a big place and society is increasingly global.
Once the name is attached to a human being, it becomes part of who they are and few will bat an eyelid. And if some do, do you honestly care?
That said, the NHS sent a medical card for a 'Male' baby when my DD had her birth registered because of her name. It was fun trying to get that sorted out!
That said, she has also met another girl with her name YEARS before I ever met another girl who shared my (unusual) 'female' first name.
Choose the names you love for your children and honestly, it doesn't matter what other people think!

Buck3t · 05/04/2017 15:43

Can I ask what kind of areas people live in and your position on noa (and possibly Ezra, which I love, but I love old bible/torah/koran names).

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 05/04/2017 15:44

I've just been reminded of girl I once knew who wanted to call her son "Pashley"

BuntyFigglesworthSpiffington · 05/04/2017 15:44

But with the greatest of respect so what? Most men who are called Mary or women who are called David will find it a big old pain in the arse. One teen's opinions doesn't alter that.

ThePiglet59 · 05/04/2017 15:44

Poor bloody girl.
She's going to have a fun life

SingingSilver · 05/04/2017 15:45

ANY name is a 'girl' name. Any name is a 'boy' name. If I named my son Clara, people would get used to it. The daft thing to do would be to settle for something you don't like as much, to pacify people who will not be your child's parents!

Stick with the names you love. You are the ones who will be using them most. Your relatives will get used to them, any child's name just becomes them after a couple of years. One of my best friends (this may be a little bit outing...) is a woman called Finn, another one is named Rowan. They don't have men's names, they have their names!

MakeItStopNeville · 05/04/2017 15:45

I like it and like a pp said up thread, it sounds more feminine the more you think about it.

Fennecfoxmummy · 05/04/2017 15:46

I just can't understand how it would be detrimental to the girls life of she's named Noah Confused

floraeasy · 05/04/2017 15:46

A Boy Named Sue

Well my daddy left home when I was three
And he didn't leave much to Ma and me
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze
Now, I don't blame him 'cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me "Sue"

Well, he must o' thought that is quite a joke
And it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk
It seems I had to fight my whole life through
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red
And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named "Sue"

Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean
My fist got hard and my wits got keen
Roam from town to town to hide my shame
But I made me a vow to the moon and stars
I'd search the honky-tonks and bars
And kill that man who gave me that awful name

Well, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July
And I just hit town and my throat was dry
I thought I'd stop and have myself a brew
At an old saloon on a street of mud
There at a table, dealing stud
Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me "Sue"

Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out picture that my mother'd had
And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye
He was big and bent and gray and old
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said: "My name is 'Sue!' How do you do!?
Now you gonna die!"
Yeah that's what I told 'em

Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down, but to my surprise
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer

I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile

And he said, "Son, this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
And I know I wouldn't be there to help ya along
So I give ya that name and I said goodbye
I knew you'd have to get tough or die
And it's the name that helped to make you strong"

Yeah he said, "Now you just fought one hell of a fight
And I know you hate me, and you got the right
To kill me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you do
But ya ought to thank me, before I die
For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye
'Cause I'm the son-of-a-bitch that named you "Sue"
Yeah what could I do, what could I do

I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
Called him my Pa, and he called me his son
And I come away with a different point of view
And I think about him, now and then
Every time I try and every time I win
And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him
Bill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name! Yeah

user1489261248 · 05/04/2017 15:46

Why do people always trot out the 'other kids will bully them if you give your kid a name that's not Emily or Adam etc .

Because this is more than likely what will happen.

Does your daughter have a boy's name?

If she does, and she does not have people/kids taking the piss, then she is very fortunate. Things won't be this way for most.

flownthecoopkiwi · 05/04/2017 15:46

Tabitha is a nice old testament name too...

ArcheryAnnie · 05/04/2017 15:46

Bunty because this thread is full of adults saying "OMG she will be bullied at school!"

She might be bullied, lots of kids are bullied, but probably not for her name.

TheJiminyConjecture · 05/04/2017 15:47

South coast here (for Buck3t) and know loads of Ezras and (male) Noahs.

MessiIsTheBest · 05/04/2017 15:47

Don't have time to RTFT but I've come across a few female Noahs including two who are actresses so it's no big deal, pick which ever names you like

SingingSilver · 05/04/2017 15:48

Plus career-wise, people mistakenly thinking she's a man may benefit her. I'm sure we all heard that story a few weeks ago about the man who found he was being treated with less respect at work because he had a woman's name on his email signature...

SoulAccount · 05/04/2017 15:48

HiIlary, Evelyn and Vivian are all boys names...except that culturally, in this country, and this day and age, they are very much seen as girls names.

Noah clearly is a biblical name for a girl, and it does seem to be gaining, slowly and a teeny bit, in popularity for a girl here. This is about the third time I have seen it mooted for a girl on MN. So there WILL be endless 'but it's a boy's name' to begin with, but if the trend continues it might die down.
Noa has a different pronunciation, I think?

Ezra is great.

Rebekah and Yael are nice. Yael is a good strong girls name.

I echo everyone else - don't share names with friends and relatives before the birth! We told no-one our chosen names, and we didn't discuss shortlists.

BuntyFigglesworthSpiffington · 05/04/2017 15:48

If I named my son Clara, people would get used to it.

Would little Clara get used to it though?

Mulledwine1 · 05/04/2017 15:50

I don't have time to RTFT either but disagree with the post above mine. You have a duty to give your child a name that they can live with. Not one that will make people wonder what the heck their parents were thinking or take the mickey all the time.

Yes Noah Cyrus is an actress but she comes from a very well-off background where you might get away with having a weird name.

You could always give it as a second name and see if your dd-to-be wants to be called it later on.

Mulledwine1 · 05/04/2017 15:51

Oh the thread moved on a bit. Anyway, I think Noah is a bad idea for a girl (don't really like it for a boy, either). Sorry.