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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Upset about critiscm of unborn child name.

529 replies

patronsaintofglocks · 05/04/2017 13:22

To cut a long story short,

I am pregnant with my first child and DP and I have chosen two names.

For a girl: Noah
(I understand that many people prefer the spelling Noa for a female but we don't.)

For a boy: Ezra

I am sick and tired of my family telling us to change our minds/names. It's getting me down and making me second guess myself.

Does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:
SparklyUnicornPoo · 05/04/2017 15:03

If you call a girl Noah you are going to have to get used to it, and so will your baby, because it is far more common as a boys name.

I have a male friend called Stacey and even now in his 50s he gets 'hahaha, how long ago was your op mate?' or 'bit manly for a stacey aint ya?' he doesn't get too bothered by it now but says he really struggled as a teenager and has been attacked before because people thought he was trans. Even without that, having an unusual name or spelling can be quite annoying, I have to spell mine out every time and people still get it wrong.

Ezra can easily be either though and is a really nice name, not unusual enough to cause all the issues my unusual name has but uncommon enough to not have 6 in their class and easy to spell.

ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 05/04/2017 15:05

'After the angel, God love her... Did she not know angels are male?'

They don't actually have a gender. They are pure spirit, have never been human, but can take on human form, presumably in either gender.

Exactly Expat - this is how she feels about it.

RestlessTraveller · 05/04/2017 15:08

Got to love all the posters saying "this is exactly why we didn't tell anyone the name before hand" then go on to say "Noah is ridiculous though"!

Cantstopeatingchocolate · 05/04/2017 15:09

Hmm
I only know boy Noah's but you can name your child what you want.
Love Ezra though.

JessicaEccles · 05/04/2017 15:15

'I have a male friend called Stacey and even now in his 50s he gets 'hahaha, how long ago was your op mate?' or 'bit manly for a stacey aint ya?' '

I used to work with a bloke called Stacey, from Yorkshire. I am not sure he was ever too happy about 'embracing diversity' Wink

WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup · 05/04/2017 15:16

I learned with my first ever to tell people what you've chosen until the baby is there in front of them. One nasty bastard bought me to tears telling me it was a 'bloody stupid name and she'd hate me forever for it'.

ArcheryAnnie · 05/04/2017 15:17

The radio drama aired in 1938 "Call for Paul Temple" had a female lead called Steve, and people managed to cope with that.

Bit depressing to see people on this thread, nearly 80 years later, having conniptions about the presence of an "h" on the chosen name making it "too boyish".

They are lovely names, OP. You call your daughter what you like, and shove anyone else.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 05/04/2017 15:17

What was the name Waitrose?

PrivatePike · 05/04/2017 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crunchymum · 05/04/2017 15:20

If you are going to go down the "traditional" route of using a name related to your religion / culture then maybe you should consider going down the "traditional" route of picking a girls name?

Being traditional and unconventional, justhe doesn't work for me.

floraeasy · 05/04/2017 15:21

Well, if all the criticism is upsetting you now, OP - just spare a thought for your little girl having to cope with it!

I have an unusual name and it's really not fun at all.

allegretto · 05/04/2017 15:22

I know a female Noa. I like it.

fkds · 05/04/2017 15:23

Noa is a really common name in Jewish/Israeli families for baby girls. It is one of the most popular baby girl's names in Israel.

ArcheryAnnie · 05/04/2017 15:23

I just went into the living room and asked my DS, without giving context, "hey, kid, is Noah a boy's name or a girl's name?" He knows that Noah is one of his friend's middle names, so I was expecting him to say "boy's name".

He looked up and said "it's a unisex name". I asked how he'd come to that conclusion. He said "because any name is a unisex name if you want it to be."

Kids'll cope with a girl called Noah, even if the people here can't.

Also I doubt that any of them would know there's a difference between "Noa" and "Noah".

Phalenopsisgirl · 05/04/2017 15:28

Ask yourself would you like to be called Noah ? Also remember how much kids like to pick on anything they can to single someone out for ridicule, why would you want your child subjected to what will obviously become something to tease her about?

Floggingmolly · 05/04/2017 15:28

Try him with Mary. Or Sandra.

SailAwayWithMeHoney · 05/04/2017 15:29

My son is called Noah (like Noah's Ark) so obviously I love the name, so much so that had he been a girl I wanted to call him Chenoa and Noa for short Grin

Where I live Noah is used a boys name, and Ezra (or Essra / Essrah) is used a girls name. But I do think people would cope with whatever you want to call your baby, whatever sex they are. With some of the kids at my sons nursery, a girl called Noah or a boy called Ezra would be among the more "normal" names!

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 05/04/2017 15:30

I don't necessarily think that children get bullied these days for having an unusual name, especially if they go to schools with a very diverse intake. However, there is no doubt at all that if someone has an unusual name it will attract attention, it will get commented on and there will at times be confusion over spelling/pronunciation/sex. Some people with unusual names don't care about any of that and think it's all worth it to stand out from the crowd. It's pretty clear from the millions of threads like these I've read on MN over the years, though, that a great many adults with unusual names don't think it's worth it at all and wish they were called something that stood out less. Isn't that worth thinking about?

Boppity · 05/04/2017 15:33

Why not Nia or Niya? Sound almost identical and are girls names

Buck3t · 05/04/2017 15:33

ArcheryAnnie I just think you made my day.
This isn't even my dilemma, but I was shocked by so many responses (and by how many didn't know the female version of the name Noah). But your DS nailed it. I think his word should be the final word on the subject.

Though I know it won't be.

ArcheryAnnie · 05/04/2017 15:34

Floggingmolly I just yelled "so, is Mary a boy's or a girl's name?" into the other room, and my kid yelled back "it's whatever you want".

BuntyFigglesworthSpiffington · 05/04/2017 15:34

He said "because any name is a unisex name if you want it to be."

Yeah right. Boys' names seem to be described as being unisex. Girls' names don't.

Tisbollocks · 05/04/2017 15:35

See to me, not living in the UK. Noa, is a girls name I know UK people spell it with an H and us it for boys, but to my ears it's definitely a girls name.

BuntyFigglesworthSpiffington · 05/04/2017 15:36

and my kid yelled back "it's whatever you want".

Because he's watching TV and thought it was the easiest way to get his mum to stop asking him questions about something she'd just read on the internet?

ArcheryAnnie · 05/04/2017 15:37

Buck3t I thought so, too! He goes to a big city school, so is used to all kinds of names being normal, and he doesn't appear to think it's a big deal at all.