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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wine when pregnant

326 replies

patronsaintofglocks · 05/04/2017 12:52

Hi everyone.
I'm nearly 15 weeks pregnant with my first. It's my 24th birthday today.

I'm going out with my DP for dinner this evening, would IBU to have a glass of wine with my meal?

Thank you.

OP posts:
ElisavetaFartsonira · 07/04/2017 10:53

Drinking goes directly into your bloodstream and therefore the baby

Are you sure that's how it works? Also could you tell us how it's possible for one off consumption of alcohol to cause immediate damage?

Lweji · 07/04/2017 10:53

We shouldn't go out, even.

The roads are full of toxic gases from cars too.

I vote for staying at home and installing HEPA filters.

Creatureofthenight · 07/04/2017 11:02

Ok, sorry splendide, I would benefit from a sarcasm emoticon!
Surely, if we are going to continue comparing drinking with getting in a car, the difference is certainty. If I'm in a car I may be involved in an accident, I may not. If I drink alcohol when pregnant, some of that alcohol will get to the baby. What I don't know is how much, or how much I can have whilst avoiding harm. Many people my age have mothers who carried on having a drink or two while pregnant, my own included, and we seem fairly unscathed, so I would have to conclude, in the absence of conclusive evidence, that the occasional small drink is not harmful.

Flowersinyourhair · 07/04/2017 11:09

"Well perhaps, if they care more about their job than their baby!"

I cared about my children enough to want to be able to feed, clothe and house them yes.

I agree with pp who have said that driving in itself isn't an issue. It only becomes an issue if there is an accident. Drinking is an entirely different thing. I'm wondering whether those who advocate "just an occasional glass" would also support "just an occasional cigarette"?

CardinalCat · 07/04/2017 11:16

I am not aware of any study showing that there is a benefit in drinking during pregnancy to a baby

There have been studies which show that very light occasional drinking in pregnancy can be beneficial actually. (this may in fact be down to the fact that the type of women who are able to critically evaluate risk and decide that a small drink now and again is fine fall into a certain socio economic category whose children are more likely to have a higher IQ/ less behavioural issues anyway). Still, there are plenty studies of this type to suggest that, at worst, there is no link to harm, and it's not all NOFAS scaremongering out there.

My own consultant told me to have a glass of wine towards the end of my pregnancy when a bunch of stressful stuff happened. I did, and it wasn't the first drink I'd had either. It was my decision and I'm happy with it.

OP, I hope you made a decision one way or another that you are happy with and had a lovely birthday regardless!

ArialAnna · 07/04/2017 11:19

I would and did

One glass of wine drunk slowly with a meal (slowly being quite important here) is fine. Some people think that any alcohol will reach the baby - this is not correct. A small amount of alcohol will be digested normally and cleaned effectively by the liver before those calories reach the baby. It's only when you have too much too quickly, your liver can't cope with it all at once, so the excess alcohol goes into the blood stream - which is then shared with your baby.

TheDowagerCuntess · 07/04/2017 11:21

I agree with pp who have said that driving in itself isn't an issue. It only becomes an issue if there is an accident. Drinking is an entirely different thing.

No, it's not an entirely different thing. It's the same thing.

Do you know if you're going to have an accident before you set off on the car journey?

No, you have the first clue. That's the entire point. It's about risk assessment.

Geekmama · 07/04/2017 11:21

I've not read all of this but........ please don't drink! My DS has Fetal alcohol syndrome because his birth mum thought it was okay to drink while pregnant. 1 drink or 1000 drinks it all ends up with your baby being drunk. Please don't do this!

TheDowagerCuntess · 07/04/2017 11:22
  • haven't
TheDowagerCuntess · 07/04/2017 11:25

With all due respect Geek, you are wrong.

LaurieMarlow · 07/04/2017 11:27

1 drink ... it all ends up with your baby being drunk.

Can you stop spouting hysterical nonsense please, we're trying to have an informed discussion.

NavyandWhite · 07/04/2017 11:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dilapidated · 07/04/2017 11:29

I was out to dinner last night and ordered pasta with mussels.

When it arrived I was told off saying I shouldn't have shellfish.

Cooked mussels are fine.
Glad she didn't see me take a sip of DP's wine or she really would have got a fright GrinWink

MetalMidget · 07/04/2017 11:35

So I also find Mumsnet very unlike real life because almost everyone on here seems to drink during pregnancy

Same here, I don't know anyone who drank while pregnant (I also have vivid memories of my mate staring forlornly at the cheese table at a wedding - mouldy cheeses were her great sacrifice!)

I don't drink, so not drinking during pregnancy was easy. I doubt one glass every now and again would have a huge effect, but why risk it? You don't need alcohol - if you do, you have a problem.

UnbornMortificado · 07/04/2017 11:39

I haven't drank but I've had to stay on AD's for the pregnancy. I wouldn't judge someone for the odd small drink.

I'm sure I've read (probably on here) that the guidelines are only at zero because a lot of people cant judge a safe measure. I could be thinking of something else.

WankingMonkey · 07/04/2017 11:44

I don't know anyone who gave up drinking completely in pregnancy. The occasional drink appears to be fine.

My mother didn't know she was pregnant with my brother until she was 6 months and was caning malibu and cokes to the stage where she was extremely drunk at least once a fortnight and even had a girls holiday during that time where alcohol consumption would be larger. Of course one instance of this happening and the kid being fine doesn't prove anything...but a lot of women don't find out until much later than usual

I know one woman (arsehole) who drank like a fish when knowing she was pregnant though. She wasn't an alcoholic, just liked nights out and didn't modify her drinking at all. She was actually out on the piss the night she went into labour. Yes, I do judge her, as does everyone else I know. As that is just ridiculous.

I had a grand total of 7 blue wkds during my pregnancy with DD. It was an unfortunate craving, as I very very rarely drank at all so suddenly c raving alcohol was quite scary/ other craving was KFC gravy, which I was only too happy to oblige Grin

Beelzebop · 07/04/2017 11:44

Why bother having any?

Beelzebop · 07/04/2017 11:49

... But don't think one glass will be an issue x

Lweji · 07/04/2017 11:50

the guidelines are only at zero because a lot of people cant judge a safe measure

I think you are probably correct.
It's easy for many to think of drinking just one glass, but then make it a large one and move on from there.

greeeen · 07/04/2017 11:55

A small glass is fine IMO.

ifeellikechickentonight · 07/04/2017 12:01

I had a glass of bubbles on Christmas Day, one on NYE and one on my birthday (Feb) with my April born baby. Didn't feel right to drink any earlier on and I definitely avoided in first trimester. Loads of people linking here to NHS guidance that advises abstinence but that was only changed a few years ago because they were worried women wouldn't know what constitutes 1-2 units and end up drinking too much, not because of any evidence about the impact of very moderate alcohol use on foetus. Children I've worked with who have foetal alcohol spectrum disorders usually have birth mothers who were putting away a bottle of vodka a day during pregnancy.

silkpyjamasallday · 07/04/2017 12:52

I think it's pretty sad that people can't go a measly 9 months without an alcoholic drink. Even if it is low risk, why take any risk when it could affect your baby? Not drinking alcohol shouldn't be an issue, you can have soft drinks at social occasions, I don't know anywhere that would serve only alcohol.

It isn't the same as walking outside where it is polluted as a PP said, because not drinking doesn't actually restrict your day to day life whereas not leaving the house obviously would. It's a risk you chose to take not one that has to be done.

ElisavetaFartsonira · 07/04/2017 14:03

I'm wondering whether those who advocate "just an occasional glass" would also support "just an occasional cigarette"?

I'd be interested to hear why you think that's a relevant question flowers. Are you suggesting that there's definitive harm caused by one small glass of alcohol in the same way that there is with one cigarette, and if so what's the evidence for this? If not, I am wondering what the point of the question was.

Even if it is low risk, why take any risk when it could affect your baby?

Could you tell us why you think one small alcoholic drink is necessarily taking a risk silky? Ie what evidence has led you to this conclusion?

poppinz · 07/04/2017 14:26

If I'm honest I do think people who think one tiny glass of wine with a meal is going to do any damage are a bit thick.

jdoe8 · 07/04/2017 14:57

TBH there are reports that saying high sugar foods such as soft drinks can lead to obesity, so a small glass of wine might be less damaging than loads of lemon aid.

I just had kale spinach smoothies Grin