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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wine when pregnant

326 replies

patronsaintofglocks · 05/04/2017 12:52

Hi everyone.
I'm nearly 15 weeks pregnant with my first. It's my 24th birthday today.

I'm going out with my DP for dinner this evening, would IBU to have a glass of wine with my meal?

Thank you.

OP posts:
supermoon100 · 06/04/2017 21:21

Driving unavoidable? What tosh! You choose to drive

Keepingupwiththejonesys · 06/04/2017 21:41

I wouldn't. There's no evidence to show it will do harm but also no evidence to show it won't. I've never touched a drop in my three pregnancies, just not worth the risk IMO. I was pregnant on my 21st birthday, I also got married on my birthday. Still didn't drink, had j20 instead

Spam88 · 06/04/2017 21:48

Elisaveta the idea of requiring proof that there's no harm may not apply to all foods etc during pregnancy, but I'm not sure that's a reasonable comparison. It does apply to other things though. For example, there's no convincing evidence that low doses of radiation (such as those from having medical procedures or that you might be exposed to if you work with radiation) cause any harm. However, there is solid evidence that high doses of radiation do cause harm, and even higher doses cause more harm. So we make the assumption, in the absence of evidence to suggest otherwise, that that relationship holds true at all doses, i.e. at low doses it can do small amounts of harm. Seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to do to me. So I also think it's reasonable to assume that if we know large amounts of alcohol can cause harm, that small amounts of alcohol may cause small amounts of harm.

Flowersinyourhair · 06/04/2017 21:51

Most women in 2017 have a job. They need to get to said job. If you don't live in a city where public transport is an option then yes, the need to drive is unavoidable.

Spam88 · 06/04/2017 21:51

I have found mumsnet very unlike real life OP. In reality I don't think I know ANYONE who abstained from alcohol completely when pregnant!

I only know one person who did drink during pregnancy (and I know plenty of people who've been pregnant!). So I also find Mumsnet very unlike real life because almost everyone on here seems to drink during pregnancy.

Laurah1979 · 06/04/2017 21:53

If you have ever seen the video of a fetus and how it reacts to even a very small amount of alcohol, trust me you wouldn't drink a drop in pregnancy ever again.

Orangebird69 · 06/04/2017 22:28

Any links to the video Laura?

HardcoreLadyType · 06/04/2017 22:36

The foetus wouldn't get to react to alcohol, though, Laura. One glass of wine would be easily dealt with by the liver, and no alcohol would pass through the umbilical cord to the foetus.

I heard a doctor explaining this on Radio 4 some time ago, when the new alcohol guidelines were brought in.

elkegel · 07/04/2017 05:44

The video sounds like a lot of women's behaviour-policing bollocks to me.

picklemepopcorn · 07/04/2017 06:41

Maybe some people's livers are less effective than others, so the alcohol isn't immediately screened out. That would explain why some people seem to drink with little outward effect on the baby, whereas others drink a little and the baby has problems.

TaliDiNozzo · 07/04/2017 06:42

I didn't and wouldn't. Not worth the risk imo. But it's very much personal choice really and some people think differently on this.

Laurah1979 · 07/04/2017 07:29

I attending a study day for professionals as part of my job run by NOFAS and they showed the video. Cannot find it but here is a link to their advice about light drinking in pregnancy. As many have said it is defintely up to the individual whether they drink or not in pregnancy. I do actually drink a good few glasses of wine a week normally but abstained in all my pregnancies as i just couldn't take that risk.

Laurah1979 · 07/04/2017 07:35

Would help if I included the link Blush
www.nofas.org/light-drinking/

ElisavetaFartsonira · 07/04/2017 07:37

Elisaveta the idea of requiring proof that there's no harm may not apply to all foods etc during pregnancy, but I'm not sure that's a reasonable comparison. It does apply to other things though. For example, there's no convincing evidence that low doses of radiation (such as those from having medical procedures or that you might be exposed to if you work with radiation) cause any harm. However, there is solid evidence that high doses of radiation do cause harm, and even higher doses cause more harm. So we make the assumption, in the absence of evidence to suggest otherwise, that that relationship holds true at all doses, i.e. at low doses it can do small amounts of harm. Seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to do to me. So I also think it's reasonable to assume that if we know large amounts of alcohol can cause harm, that small amounts of alcohol may cause small amounts of harm.

Again though, why? All you've told us here spam is that you think it's reasonable not to compare alcohol to other things that women eat and drink, but it is reasonable to compare it to radiation, something quite different. You haven't given us any reason why.

TheDowagerCuntess · 07/04/2017 08:54

f you have ever seen the video of a fetus and how it reacts to even a very small amount of alcohol, trust me you wouldn't drink a drop in pregnancy ever again.

And yet both my DC are just fine Smile #anecdotebutwhocares

You take way more of a risk as a pregnant women, every time you close the car door, and head off down the road.

splendide · 07/04/2017 08:59

Most women in 2017 have a job. They need to get to said job. If you don't live in a city where public transport is an option then yes, the need to drive is unavoidable.

Well perhaps, if they care more about their job than their baby!

CatTheMouse · 07/04/2017 09:18

I didn't in my previous 3 pregnancies, haven't in this one and probably wouldn't at all personally. That's just me. I'm someone who if she's going to have a drink I'd rather have a few, so I just don't have any.

But I certainly wouldn't condemn anyone for a small glass on an occasion that happens to fall during their pregnancy. Smoking bothers me more as I doubt many people who continue throughout the pregnancy stick to one a week or a similar minute amount. Pregnancy in itself is a risk, things go wrong all the time for absolutely no reason, my son has DS, I was 21, came out of nowhere. Even if I had had a drink or two I'd never have blamed his DS on myself. It was a thing of chance, one glass of anything wouldn't have changed that. It's not for anyone to decide for someone else what is 'a risk'. So OP, I'd say if you would like to celebrate with a small glass of wine, then enjoy it and wake up the next day and move on.

Creatureofthenight · 07/04/2017 09:19

Congratulations splendide you've won the prize for today's most ridiculous post.
Do you know many women who refused to get in a car for the duration of their pregnancy?

MiniMaxi · 07/04/2017 09:26

One glass of wine is not going to cause any problems at all. Happy birthday!

splendide · 07/04/2017 10:17

I was being sarcastic Creature - my point is that we all do things that add risks to pregnancy but for some reason having a small drink is demonised in a way that lots of other things we do are not.

SpreadYourHappiness · 07/04/2017 10:28

YWBVVVU. If you're not responsible enough to consider your baby's safety over alcohol, you shouldn't be having a baby.

splendide · 07/04/2017 10:29

Demonstrated nicely by Spread's point there.

If you are not responsible enough to consider your baby's safety over driving, you shouldn't be having a baby.

That would actually make more sense.

SpreadYourHappiness · 07/04/2017 10:38

splendide I haven't RTFT, but, there is a world of difference between driving and drinking.

Driving in and of itself causes no harm to the baby; only an accident would (and they're rare). Drinking goes directly into your bloodstream and therefore the baby and can cause immediate damage.

The two aren't comparable and to suggest they are is ridiculous.

splendide · 07/04/2017 10:40

Drinking a small amount of alcohol does not cause immediate damage.

TheDowagerCuntess · 07/04/2017 10:45

Spread - many, many, many, many, many women, throughout history have consumed small amounts of alcohol, and gone on to have fully functioning, well-adjusted children.

Every time you get into a car, or any other mode of transport, you put yourself and your baby at risk.

They're both about assessing the risk, and doing what you, as an individual, are comfortable with.

To me, getting in a car is riskier. I still did it, though.