Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Wine when pregnant

326 replies

patronsaintofglocks · 05/04/2017 12:52

Hi everyone.
I'm nearly 15 weeks pregnant with my first. It's my 24th birthday today.

I'm going out with my DP for dinner this evening, would IBU to have a glass of wine with my meal?

Thank you.

OP posts:
SpreadYourHappiness · 07/04/2017 21:19

So glad you're both here Cherries and Flowers. It is very upsetting to see people trying to justify their actions.

SpreadYourHappiness · 07/04/2017 21:20

makemineadoubleplease Oh, you want me to be quiet? Because you can't handle hearing that you could have harmed your baby? Well, that's okay then. As long as you can bury your head in the sand and silence everyone. Hmm

Flowersinyourhair · 07/04/2017 21:22

Totally. I think there's a need for people to defend the decisions they make/made. I agree that it's upsetting. I've had discussions with people in the past who have entirely defended their decisions to do all sorts while pregnant. Horrible really.

TwoDogs9 · 07/04/2017 21:22

OP, I wouldn't. Surely the guilt would remove any of the enjoyment from the wine anyway? The way I see it is, you've got one chance at making this precious new human being and it's only 9 months out of your life without booze!

Flowersinyourhair · 07/04/2017 21:23

"Of course no one in their heart of hearts thinks there is definitely absolutely no risk involved with a small amount of wine".

So why do it? It's not like it's essential to life is it?

CherriesInTheSnow · 07/04/2017 21:30

Same to your Spread and I totally agree.

I get your point makemine but if that's the case, why are you and so many others absolutely determined to convince OP and everyone else that there is no harm/risk in drinking a "moderate" amount of alcohol? We need to acknowledge the facts that we have and understand what they suggest.

frogsgoladidahdidah · 07/04/2017 21:31

I had a big birthday during one of my pregnancies. My doctor wished me a happy birthday and told me to enjoy a glass of bubbles.
Happy birthday!

Shockedshell · 07/04/2017 21:44

I am raising a child with suspected FAS & it is the most difficult, frustrating & heartbreaking thing I have ever done. His mother is not an alcoholic but drank in the first trimester. I would never, ever take that risk, no matter how small, now that I have seen the damage alcohol in pregbancy can do.

Flowersinyourhair · 07/04/2017 21:48

Gosh Shocked. I really hope people read that post and think about some of their choices and comments on here. It must be very tough for you all.

flamingnoravera · 07/04/2017 21:49

Why bother? Are you avoiding soft cheese and liver and smoke? alcohol related issues are preventable if you don't have alcohol. But your baby, your choice.

poppinz · 07/04/2017 21:49

No one gave their baby FAS from one small glass of wine.

Lweji · 07/04/2017 21:51

It's a sad truth that those who choose to drink in pregnancy will continue to justify their choices and vilify those who put their babies ahead of their pleasures.

Who has vilified anyone who has chosen not to drink at all?

The fact is that one way or another, we all take some risks for our enjoyment.
Nothing is risk free, but we can make it really really small.

Or at some point some of you will be saying they believe in homeopathy. That really small dilutions have any effect, or similar to higher dilutions. Perhaps even more... :)

Lweji · 07/04/2017 21:52

His mother is not an alcoholic but drank in the first trimester.

How much, though? Just a glass?

SpreadYourHappiness · 07/04/2017 21:57

Lweji Why should enjoying a glass of wine trump a human baby's life? To say it should is preposterous.

(And for the record, homeopathy is a load of bollocks.)

CherriesInTheSnow · 07/04/2017 21:58

But the problem, Lweji, is that no one can quantify how much alcohol is required to cause harmful effects. And some studies have shown that some unfortunate women can indeed cause FAS by a small amount of alcohol consumption.

*The fact is that one way or another, we all take some risks for our enjoyment.
Nothing is risk free, but we can make it really really small. *

Hmm but you don't know how much alcohol could cause harm, so you can not make a calculated judgement. TBH I will never look beyond "It can potentially cause serious harm".

Lweji · 07/04/2017 22:02

As pointed out in the thread, the many women who have had just one or two glasses on the odd occasion do show that no harmful effects come from those small amounts.

But perhaps you can find actual examples of one or two glasses of wine during the entire pregnancy that have caused any effect.

And, for the record, I'm not even saying one glass per week. I said earlier that I wouldn't, and that would be a risk too high for me. I really mean just the odd one or two in separate occasions, and small.

CherriesInTheSnow · 07/04/2017 22:02

Lol what has homeopathy got to do with it? Everyone know's that's BS. It doesn't mean that small amounts of alcohol cannot be potentially harmful to a fetus who has no way of filtering out those substances from their body. Ooh that made me sad thinking of it, genuinely don't know how people do it :(

Lweji · 07/04/2017 22:02

Why should enjoying a glass of wine trump a human baby's life?

Find me one instance where one glass led to serious effects.

Edsheeranalbumparty · 07/04/2017 22:04

Can i just remind those who appear to have lost the fucking plot on this thread that what we are talking about is a small handful of units over an entire pregnancy?

Lweji · 07/04/2017 22:04

what has homeopathy got to do with it

Homeopathy dilutes harmful substances to the point they hardly exist in solution.
But it says that diluted harmful substances have an effect.
Yes, it's BS. As saying that very diluted amounts of alcohol cause an effect that can be measurable at all.

SpreadYourHappiness · 07/04/2017 22:05

"There is no known safe amount or safe time to drink during pregnancy.[1][7] While drinking small amounts of alcohol does not cause abnormalities in the face, it may cause behavioral issues.[6] Alcohol crosses the blood brain barrier and both directly and indirectly affects a developing baby."

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetal_alcohol_spectrum_disorder

SpreadYourHappiness · 07/04/2017 22:06

Edsheeranalbumparty Yeah, we've "lost the plot" because we don't want harm to come to babies. Hmm Carry on slinging insults around if it makes you feel better.

Lweji · 07/04/2017 22:08

What is meant by that statement is that it's not known what the threshold is.
And as advice, it's always best to recommend taking nothing. Which doesn't mean that next to nothing will suddenly have an effect.

Edsheeranalbumparty · 07/04/2017 22:08

And some studies have shown that some unfortunate women can indeed cause FAS by a small amount of alcohol consumption.

What studies? Can anyone find a case of FAS caused by a mother drinking one or two glasses of wine during pregnancy?

CherriesInTheSnow · 07/04/2017 22:11

I've tried to explain several times that no one can give you definitive evidence, statistics or accurate anecdotes of how much alcohol a woman consumes vs the effect on her baby. Because presumably the mothers of babies with FAS are not carefully carefully recording each drink the have. And obviously any clinical trials would be crazily unethical. Surely you can understand that?

What we do know is that alcohol is a poison, it is a "teratogen", a substance which can actively impair fetal development. Alcohol can also prevent oxygen and nutrients being absorbed by the fetus. And the fetus has cannot remove the alcohol from its system like a grown person can. So even if we cannot provide solid evidence of just how many children are affected, or say exactly how much alcohol one would need to cause harm, surely it's best, in light of what we do know, to just not bloody drink for a few months?