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AIBU?

Dp going on about dd eating chocolate then he eats 5 doughnuts!

100 replies

babayjane67 · 04/04/2017 13:21

Been with my dp 10 yrs& our dd is 8& a half.
She loves her chocolate just like her mum!
We all used to eat bit too much of it so have cut it down now to just on a Saturday night.
Dp has been going on about how much dd eats for ages&also goes on about her weight NOT to her i should say but to me.though I did find out bk last yr he was actually weighing her behind my back which I was not happy about at all&told him so!
He doesn't however stop her from eating biscuits or buying her chocolate spread to go on her toast for breakfast or chocolate cereal!
Anyway this last Saturday I bought myself&dd our treats one pack of chocolate each asked if dp wanted any to which he replied no.so I left it at that finished shopping went home.
Fast forward to the evening dd brought our choc in ready.the next thing I knew dp was walking in with a 5pk of jam doughnuts&ate the lot!
I couldn't believe it&told him so!
Aibu that he can't go on about how much chocolate dd eats&then turns round&does that??
To me it's a do as I say not do as I do attitude!
He's a very fussy eater&seems to have a thing about weight somehow.he's very skinny.I'm 5ft& a bit plump but my bmi is within normal range.dd has my family's build but my dps height.he's 6ft.

OP posts:

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WorraLiberty · 04/04/2017 16:37

I don't see the problem with weighing children?

We've had bathroom scales all the kid's lives.

They've never seen hopping on/off the scales as any different to standing in front of the height measure chart, on their bedroom walls.

All this cloak and dagger stuff is weird, considering how obese we've become as a nation.

Left to the kids themselves, the whole subject of weight would just be a completely normal one, I'm sure.

babayjane67 · 04/04/2017 17:36

We don't have a height chart so apart from as a baby or at school she doesn't get measured.
Weve always had scales too but none of us regularly use them.
It wouldn't bother me if she said she wanted to stand on the scales.I'd gladly help her& weigh myself after.its him doing it behind my back is don't like.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 04/04/2017 17:51

Did he specifically tell her not to tell you?

Klaphat · 04/04/2017 17:56

as I say shes a tall girl for her age.taller than most of her classmates&is in age 10/11 clothes.

This is just as likely due to you overfeeding her than anything else.

Klaphat · 04/04/2017 17:56

*as anything else. I seemed to have two sentences running in my head at the same time.

babayjane67 · 04/04/2017 18:12

I don't know worrel.
Maybe,maybe not Klap but shes pretty active does swimming gym brownies&choir through the school week.
She goes swimming with dp on a wkend sometimes.we go to the park the usual stuff.

OP posts:

HelenaDove · 04/04/2017 18:12

He is giving her the message that women and girls should watch what they eat but men dont have to.

A sexist and dangerous example to set.

Teabagtits · 04/04/2017 18:15

While your oh is entitled to be concerned about your dd's food intake he also should be setting an example. He can't say do as I say not as I do, particularly when it comes to eating junk food.

babayjane67 · 04/04/2017 18:18

He also thinks that it's my job to teach her to ride a bike as he 'gets enough exercise at work he doesn't need to do it at wkends!'but that's a whole other thread!
He doesn't eat any veg apart from baked beans or processed peas occasionally.the only fruit he eats is bananas.won't eat my spag bol only a ready made frozen one.I could go on!

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babayjane67 · 04/04/2017 18:19

Exactly Teabag!

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Awwlookatmybabyspider · 04/04/2017 18:20

Of course he can eat what he likes, but. If you're going to dictate what others do. Children included. Then you need to practice what you preach.

BreatheDeep · 04/04/2017 18:20

Eating 5 doughnuts is disgusting.

WorraLiberty · 04/04/2017 18:24

He doesn't eat any veg apart from baked beans or processed peas occasionally.the only fruit he eats is bananas.won't my spag bol only a ready made frozen one.I could go on!

Yes but that's up to him. He can't help what he doesn't like.

However, eating 5 doughnuts in front of his child is very irresponsible and not to mention hypocritical.

Tinkerbec · 04/04/2017 18:45

as I say shes a tall girl for her age.taller than most of her classmates&is in age 10/11 clothes.

This is just as likely due to you overfeeding her than anything else.

Confused? Are you saying height is linked to over feeding ?

ForalltheSaints · 04/04/2017 18:49

I am reminded of a line in one of the Adrian Mole books, on the lines of:

My mum thinks sugar is evil and has banned it from the house. She smoked two cigarettes whilst informing me of this decision.

babayjane67 · 04/04/2017 18:58

I love that analogy Saints

OP posts:

HelenaDove · 04/04/2017 19:06

Yep Klaphat Its why all those catwalk models are so tall

Ummmmgogo · 04/04/2017 19:17

So it seems like your husband is just thinking you should do everything and he does nothing bar weigh her occasionally? Why wouldn't he want to teach her to ride a bike? Or stop buying chocolate spread. I hope your talk with him goes well op, don't put up with any defensiveness. This is your daughter, you both love her, and neither of you want her picking up her dads bad habits! If you can't get through to him get the dentist to speak to him they are very anti junk food generally xx

babayjane67 · 04/04/2017 20:20

Thanks gogo.I don't do everything he does his fair share with her.takes her to swim lessons,pks her up from school most days if he finishes work in time.we take it in turns putting her to bed&listening to her read.we both help her with any homework.
He never seems to want to do anything much at wkends other than food shopping though sometimes he will take her swimming.occasionally we will go to a big park which we have to drive to.
He never comes for a walk with the dog with us or wants to go for a country walk or anything like that. He's not interested but wouldn't stop us from going BUT I don't drive so unless he or someone else takes us we can't go to a lot of them!
Theres a zoo park near us about 20 mins drive away we've never been to.I said the other day about we should go there.dd said yea all up for it dp said yea YOU should.
So I said that means go on yr own babay!

OP posts:

HighwayDragon1 · 04/04/2017 20:24

We don't own weighing scales! If you can't see your DDS ribs she is over weight

Klaphat · 04/04/2017 20:25

Confused? Are you saying height is linked to over feeding ?

Yes, I am. It's been mentioned on enough on the other ten thousand overweight child threads on MN by now.

Yep Klaphat Its why all those catwalk models are so tall

I honestly am not sure what fanciful interpretation you are putting on my post for that response to make any sense whatsoever, so unless you want to reformulate your argument, I don't know what to say to that.

Mysteriouscurle · 04/04/2017 20:45

I'm a fat greedy bastard and I could no more eat 5 doughnuts than fly to the moon. It does sound a fairly sexist message to your dd. the weighing your back would worry me greatly.

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Mysteriouscurle · 04/04/2017 20:46

FFS weighing behind your back

babayjane67 · 04/04/2017 21:19

Indeed Mysterious.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 04/04/2017 21:40

How was it 'behind your back' though?

That's the bit I genuinely don't understand?

You said if she wanted to stand on the scales, you'd gladly 'help' her.

So are you saying she didn't want to and he forced her onto them in secret?

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