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AIBU?

Dp going on about dd eating chocolate then he eats 5 doughnuts!

100 replies

babayjane67 · 04/04/2017 13:21

Been with my dp 10 yrs& our dd is 8& a half.
She loves her chocolate just like her mum!
We all used to eat bit too much of it so have cut it down now to just on a Saturday night.
Dp has been going on about how much dd eats for ages&also goes on about her weight NOT to her i should say but to me.though I did find out bk last yr he was actually weighing her behind my back which I was not happy about at all&told him so!
He doesn't however stop her from eating biscuits or buying her chocolate spread to go on her toast for breakfast or chocolate cereal!
Anyway this last Saturday I bought myself&dd our treats one pack of chocolate each asked if dp wanted any to which he replied no.so I left it at that finished shopping went home.
Fast forward to the evening dd brought our choc in ready.the next thing I knew dp was walking in with a 5pk of jam doughnuts&ate the lot!
I couldn't believe it&told him so!
Aibu that he can't go on about how much chocolate dd eats&then turns round&does that??
To me it's a do as I say not do as I do attitude!
He's a very fussy eater&seems to have a thing about weight somehow.he's very skinny.I'm 5ft& a bit plump but my bmi is within normal range.dd has my family's build but my dps height.he's 6ft.

OP posts:

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babayjane67 · 07/04/2017 08:12

As I've already said previously Isetan,we have cut it down to Saturday only(other than this reward if course!)
Plus I am trying to get her to eat more healthy meals such as stews,casseroles etc that i love but she won't eat them!
She will eat meat& veg soup though so she has that.I've even tried doing a stew the same as the soup.cutting the veg exactly the same etc&putting it in a bowl instead of on a plate but she still wont touch it!I've made fruit crumbles etc another thing I love& got her to help me as she likes cooking&helping but she still won't actually eat it!imy swiftly running out of ideas!

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Isetan · 07/04/2017 08:02

There are two separate issues here. There's your H's unhealthy eating and poor example setting and there's your DD's poor diet. Her older siblings had a more balanced diet and therefore the regular consumption of chocolate wasn't as big of a deal as it is with your youngest. Given her poor overall diet, the regular consumption of chocolate is harmful as it further imbalances an already in balanced diet.

Yes your H is a being a hypocrite but annoyingly as it is, it doesn't make his concerns wrong.

Forget about family genetics and what might possibly happen in the future and concentrate on the here and now. Cut down on the chocolate and focus on improving her diet, your H is not your DD's only example.

babayjane67 · 07/04/2017 07:17

Yeah my dp smokes too.outside not in the house but he smokes.but then i have a drink now&again so I can't really say much about that!
Silly thing is too now that dd has a test today& dp has told her if she does well she can have the very small box(size you would put in a Christmas stocking)of Quality Street as a reward!

OP posts:

Klaphat · 06/04/2017 23:44

Plus op's child is not obese.

Sorry, forgot to include this in the last post. Did you not read what I said regarding this? You certainly didn't seem to answer my question, and nor did OP. I really don't need an answer - but it would be nice if you could think about it rather than repeating the same thing as if you haven't.

Klaphat · 06/04/2017 23:39

It would be interesting to know how much of these ' taller' kids actually ended up taller than their peers as adults.

Yes, I suppose it would be interesting. As I stated, the answer seems to be not many. But that is completely irrelevant to the point being made, which you seem to have missed, and I apologise if I didn't make it clear enough.

The point was that many adults of overfed children claim their children are tall and growing ever taller, as some sort of justification of them just needing bigger portions and clothing sizes than their peers. When it is as likely the bigger portions that has caused these things.

Tinkerbec · 06/04/2017 21:58

He was both. He smoked, drank , ate loads of cookies but would moan at her for asking for a chocolate.

babayjane67 · 06/04/2017 07:36

Bless you Tink thanks for the support
Do u mean yr ex is the same as my dp in eating the way he does& not having a problem with it or the double standards/being hypocritical about what do eats?
Yes it can be a right pain!his whole thing with food can be.gets on my nerves!

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Tinkerbec · 06/04/2017 06:36

It would be interesting to know how much of these ' taller' kids actually ended up taller than their peers as adults.

The healthier was based on anecdotal evidence I had read. The puberty makes sense as hormones can be affected. Clearly growth is limited it was the actual growth spurt that I found intriguing based on eating more.

I still don't think there is enough evidence.

Plus op ' s child is not obese. Op my ex was like your husband. It can be draining. Fortunately now he has gone on a health kick and seems much better for it.

Klaphat · 05/04/2017 22:16

I read the link Klap.it was about obese kids!

Thanks . However it is still very slight and still as babay said its obsese kids.

What, you think calorie supply just magically kicks in as an influence on height when a kid gets to a BMI of 30? Why would that be the case?

Genetics must play a 99 percent part. Surely.

Why surely? The article (or possibly the article that linked to that one, I forget, cba checking) suggested the adult heights aren't particularly different. So an overfed child would be more likely to reach their final height (and also go through puberty) earlier.

So then if healthier kids are observed as taller does that mean snalkwr peers are in deficit?

What do you mean if healthier kids are observed as taller? Who said anything about healthier? And an undernourished child might be more likely to be shorter - I assume it would be described as failure to thrive, or something. Why does anyone check that babies are eating and growing enough if they're just going to grow the same regardless due to genetics? That doesn't mean Kid A, shorter than Kid B, necessarily is less well-nourished than Kid B.

babayjane67 · 05/04/2017 21:05

Yea& to look at dp Just you wouldn't think he'd had one!

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Boooooom · 05/04/2017 20:47

NinkyNonky
Amazing. Pm me if you want info x

JustSpeakSense · 05/04/2017 20:44

5 jam donuts = 1125 calories

Tinkerbec · 05/04/2017 20:39

Thanks . However it is still very slight and still as babay said its obsese kids.

Genetics must play a 99 percent part. Surely.

Obviously not with deficiency but thats a whole other story.

So then if healthier kids are observed as taller does that mean snalkwr peers are in deficit?

This is fastenating and not something I have thought of before as its seems crazy.

onesupplied · 05/04/2017 20:38

A sharing bag has about 3 portions of maltesers in it. It's really easy to keep eating until the bag is gone but that's 3 times a usual chocolate bar. Treats are fine but portion control is still important. E.g. 1 donut not 5!!

babayjane67 · 05/04/2017 20:35

So do u mean sharing the one bag between all of you?

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babayjane67 · 05/04/2017 20:34

That's a good idea Cornflake I will try give it a try.

OP posts:

cornflakegirl · 05/04/2017 20:19

I was thinking the same as onesupplied. A sharing bag of maltesers is 600kcal - that's a meal. I'm overweight because of portion control issues, among other things. Trying to improve my eating habits and help my children develop good ones, and one thing that I've started doing is helping them work out a portion size of sharing bags of crisps and sweets. Then we don't accidentally keep eating till the whole bag is gone.

babayjane67 · 05/04/2017 20:11

I read the link Klap.it was about obese kids!
Yes I know holey is still sugar but have always thought it's a lot healthier than the choc spread.

OP posts:

NinkyNonky · 05/04/2017 20:01

How are you finding the hypnotherapy Boooooom? I have a sugar addiction i really need to get a hold on. I've always had a sweet tooth but breastfeeding seems to have sent it into overdrive

onesupplied · 05/04/2017 19:44

The next size up from a small bag? Do you mean a 121g share bag? In this case, yes I do think that's a lot for a Saturday night.

Your dd and dp both sound like they need an education in healthy eating.

Klaphat · 05/04/2017 19:40

Honey is still sugar...

Yes, that always gets me. Like when a poster said they'd switched the sugar in their porridge for golden syrup. I mean, what?

Honey has 82g of sugar per 100g, chocolate spread has 54g...

Klaphat · 05/04/2017 19:37

I'm not sure anyone said she was obese, OP. I'll allow any more doubters to google their own information.

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Boooooom · 05/04/2017 19:32

"SuperPug

Chocolate spread, cereal and other chocolate related stuff sounds a lot to be honest. I've had issues with sugar, to the point of this significantly affecting my health.
Your husband needs to set a better example to your daughter as well and you can inherit a certain body type without being overweight and/ or unhealthy.
It's bloody difficult to get out of these habits later on and sadly kids are cruel at school when it comes to comments about weight. I'm in no way on the side of people like this but it's a sad fact in schools unfortunately."

This

I'm currently having hypnotherapy because
of sugar addiction. I'm not fate but it affects my mood. It can get out of control. That is a lot of sugar, even for an adult.
Honey is still sugar...

amusedbush · 05/04/2017 19:31

Thank you, OP. I know I'm massively projecting here, I always do on these threads

Sorry to hear your older daughter struggled too, eating disorders are bastards

babayjane67 · 05/04/2017 19:24

She is not obese!!

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