To be upset over my son's birthday party?

[LongLiveTheChief]

So I sent invitations out to everyone in my son's class for his 5th birthday party. 11-2pm with superhero fancy dress. Obviously there will be food etc and I wrote on there that parents were welcome to leave their child and collect later if they wanted too.

Invitations went to the whole class as we've hired a big hall and bouncy castle so thought it was easier than trying to ask a 5 year old who his friends are as they seems to change every day.

Today in the playground I hear 3/4 mothers having a bit of a moan about the party. It's too long for their age, 3 hours, it's a Sunday and over lunch time.

AIBU to think maybe it would have been nice for them to have talked about this away from the school playground? They don't know who I am as I tend to keep myself to myself, I'm not in any cliques so overhearing this was a little hurtful. After all, my son would probably love their child to come and it would be costing us a couple of £ per child to feed and entertain for 3 hours.

I felt like saying something but I felt quite upset so didn't want it to come out wrong. I'm very sensitive person who suffers very badly with social anxiety but I just can't stop thinking about what they said and now I feel quite sad.

None of them have now text to say their child can't come but I'm pretty sure they won't be turning up!

AIBU to be upset?

Thank you for all your replies, I just wish I was a little more thick skinned sometimes.

Invitations are out so no changing it now :-(. We've hosted 2 birthday parties now and they've been 2 hours each and they just didn't seem long enough, hence going for 3 hours. Maybe it's just my son, but a bouncy castle and his friends would probably keep him entertained for 12 hours!

The reason behind the superhero idea was more because they have a superhero day at school this Friday so most will have outfits I thought? We have put that fancy dress is optional so it's totally up to them, but it will have a superhero theme with the cake etc.

I just assumed if people didn't want to stay the full 3 hours, they wouldn't? I'm going to do food for something past 12 and then they can leave early if they want to.

I'll arrange some activities, I don't like the idea of games as it always makes kids cry!!

Eurgh! If it wasn't what my son had asked for, I really don't think I'd bother x

My 18 mo could cope with that so am sure 5yo can. Party sounds great way to break up a Sunday. I'd leave kids at 5yo and go off for Sunday lunch with DH.

I prefer late afternoon because you can do stuff earlier in the day. 11-2 does scupper any family activities for the whole day, especially if a divorced parent who lives out of town so has to hang around for a few hours. I don't see the duration as a problem as we often had 3 hour party as 30 min car journey either side of bowling or go-carts etc.

They were being very thoughtless. If their child can't cope with that long, then they can come a bit later, or leave a bit earlier.

Most parents won't leave their five year old at the party.
Are you providing lunch for the parents? Otherwise when do they get lunch if the party is 11-2? Three hours is too long. I can see it's fun for the kids but sitting in a hall for three hours in a Sunday and missing lunch is something is a raw deal for parents, I would privately complain about too.
We'd probably arrive late or leave early. They will bounce in the castle for half an hour, cake and food half an hour, what will you do the other two hours?

A superhero theme a few days after a superhero themed day at school is an excellent plan. I'd take along some old clothes that can be used as capes for kids who don't have any. Any other fancy dress you have as Barbie, pirates & mermaids can all have secret identities as superheroes.

A table with some crayons and paper for 'design your own superhero symbol' is a cheap and good way for any children who get anxious with loud children. Lay out some food & drinks for parents: simple things like a tray of veg or hummus and chips. 3 hours is absolutely fine.

There's a subsection of posters on MN who think anyone who does so much as brush their teeth in a different manner is a complete freak who should be insulted and harassed into being a carbon copy of them. The thought of someone having a different idea about the exact pattern of a children's party brings them out in hives. They simply cannot conceive of a situation in which someone has a different idea from them. It is utterly tedious. Just ignore the 'how dare you do something I don't do' crowd. It is perfectly acceptable to host a children's party for three hours over 'lunch' on a Sunday - just as it is for Saturday from 3-5.

OP has said, parents have the option of leaving. Yes it might be a good idea to cater for parents too in that time frame. As I said the can come later of leave earlier.

Why would you not leave a 5 year old at a party?

You were just unlucky to overhear those mums and not the ones that were looking forward to the 3 hours child free time.

As above, you will never please everyone. It will all be fine.

Your party sounds lovely; you sound really kind, you've laid on food and entertainment for a whole class so no-one is left out. You've chosen a theme that most people will already have something prepared for and an option of not dressing up if they don't want to. If there are some parents who can't go for three hours without eating, or manage to get their kids there, then that really is too bad - you'll never please everyone. I hope your son has a fantastic time x.

I agree that it was rude of them to complain in the playground when you could have heard.

However, for me 3 hours for a party for reception age is very long. I think 1 1/2 - 2 hours is reasonable.

All the parties DD1 (reception) has been to this year, including her own, the parents have stayed. Spending 3 hours at a kid's party sounds like hell unless I was extremely friendly with the host / another parent and didn't have to make awkward small talk.

Plenty of parents dropped and ran for ds's 5th birthday party.
Your party sounds fine. I'm not good enough at parties for a 3 hour one but that's not to say you are wrong!

I think nothing wrong with 3 hours. If the parents thought it's too long, they can came/drop off later, or leave/ pick up early.
I actually think you are very generous. Don't be upset, OP.

I have often had my kids parties on a Friday after school so it doesn't cut into the weekend & family time. For lots of families the weekend days are the only time they can relax together. Probably either morning or afternoon would have worked better. I wouldn't fancy spending 3 hours in the middle of the day at a kids party.
However, it is up to you how you plan your party & 3 hours is a loooong time to entertain little ones. One and a half hrs would probably be enough at that age.

Your party sounds lovely; you sound really kind, you've laid on food and entertainment for a whole class so no-one is left out. You've chosen a theme that most people will already have something prepared for and an option of not dressing up if they don't want to. If there are some parents who can't go for three hours without eating, or manage to get their kids there, then that really is too bad - you'll never please everyone. I hope your son has a fantastic time x
This is also true - so stick to what you want and try to ignore the moaners. You will never keep everyone happy!

OP please do not worry! 2 hours would not be enough for a party in my experience - surely to god they can just come for the hours they want! also - I have a 5 year old and it sounds like the sort of party he would absolutely LOVE.

I agree with someone who said that there are some people who will always moan. It says something about them - not about you and your kids party. If they don't like it / if it impinges on their sunday - they don't have to come do they?

they may have been having a bad day/ bad moment/ bad life - please try and put it out of your head.

I really have never in normal life complain about a party being too long at three hours so don't think about it anymore.

I'd stick to 2 hrs in future. Kids get overhyped, overstimulated and overheated at parties and usually reach their limit around 2 hrs.

I would not leave my 5 year old. At that age, I still accompanied her to the toilet (I still do usually, she's 7 now), and she sometimes used to get overwhelmed by the party activities and have a mini-whinge.
I like to keep an eye on what she's had to eat too. If it's a help-yourself job, she's gonna be choosing 10 party rings and 15 choc fingers and leaving the sandwiches well alone, I'm damn sure of that!

Why would you not leave a 5 year old at a party?

Because when it comes to tea time, my five year old would rather water than squash but doesn't necessarily know who to ask for it, can't open her crisps herself. First time she was left, another Mum (whom I know quite well helped her) but I felt a bit bad that someone else had to help care for my kid so the next time, I stayed.

No drama - it was in a hall and I was welcome too. Not the most useful two hours of my life but not the worst either.

Family time Bleugh!

You're worried that your 5 year old won't be able to open her crisps if you drop and run, 1bighappyfamily
I don't know whether that's funny or insane