To expect my rich brother to buy me a decent birthday gift?

[Sheila]

OK - he may not be rich exactly, but he earns a lot of money, his wife also works full time, they live in a massive house, have an au-pair, annual skiing hols etc etc, and what I got from him today on my birthday was a cheap as chips bracelet that probably cost no more than £10.00 (if that) and is already starting to make my wrist go green.

In fact the card is in his wife's handwriting so I suspect that she was roped in to buy the gift and send it, and she's not my biggest fan.

I know I shouldn't care, but I do. I don't have a DP/DH so family presents are more important, and I feel so let down and sad about my life.

I dont expect my brother to buy me a present at all ,never mind an expensive one. Men only really buy for their wives dont they ?

I don't expect presents at all.

Well atleast you get something,I have three db's and get diddlysquat from them.
You do sound a bit like an ungrateful teenager.

My sister is the same-tight as the proverbial duck's arse.
I now expect nothing and am never disappointed.
It is sad but we cannot choose our families or indeed how they spend their money.

Happy birthday though

Well I always buy him one, and although I don't have much money I take some trouble to think what he might like (ask him if I'm not sure). Not sure he'll be getting much this year!

maybe look at it as an advantage-
never spend any more than £10 on him

I don't think it matters how much the gift costs, but I would expect my close family to take time to buy something they think I would like.

It is my birthday today and no presents from my sisters.

Yes you are being unreasonable. My siblings and I don't buy each other birthday presents; we have enough on our plates trying to remember the birthdays of all our children, let alone their parents as well.

As they both work full-time, you're lucky to get a card, let alone a present, and I would consider a £10 bracelet generous, not cheap as chips.

Only one of my bro's ever buy to me for my b'day & that is because I buy to him, as our b'day is in the same month. Last yr I bought him an expensive aftershave, he bought me a £4.50 CD holder & some perfume. The cost never came into it for me really, I know his fave aftershave, he knows my fave perfume.... that's all there was to it

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday!

If it makes you feel any better, my Brother didn't even give me a card last year & I always buy him lovely gifts...Men, get used to it!

I think you are expecting too much - especially from a man tbh! I know he's your brother, and you buy him presents, but women do generally tend to think things like birthdays are more important than men do.
My DH is useless and if I didn't remember birthdays for his family members they would get nothing!
At least you got something, even if it was via your SIL.

it depends. did your brother buy a present for 10 pounds that had a meaning? because that should lift your spirits more than the worth of the gift would.

I guess what bugs me about it is the complete lack of thought on his behalf, the contrast between what he could afford to spend and what he actually does spend (why are those with the most money often the most mean, incidentally?), and (the bit that isn't his fault) that no-one else is making a fuss of me either. I'm sure it wouldn't bother me half as much if I had a DP/DH who was showering me with gifts.

I guess birthdays are a bit like Xmas - they show up the holes in your life.

happy birthday sheila-you sound really down.
Why not go and treat yourself today,meet up with a friend and do something nice.

It is probably left for his wife to buy and organise. Men aren't the great at this stuff.

I have to buy my DHs mums and dads stuff, else they wouldn't get anything.

I normally buy my own Mothers Day flowers and homemade get cards from my DDs (which are the best kind).

If you don't get him anything for his Birthday he probably wouldn't even notice. Not because he has lots, but because, men aren't as sentimental over trinkets.

What did you expect (£££) for them to spend on you? Not the same as a DH/DP would spend on you.

Hope you have a nice Birthday. Cheer up.

Thanks for birthday wishes. I'm going to leave work early and take DS out for cake, then out tonight for a drink with a couple of friends, so it could be worse.

My sympathies to those of you who get nothing at all from your siblings - I hope you have somebody who does take some trouble.

Happy birthday to you Twinset! What are you doing today?

"the contrast between what he could afford to spend and what he actually does spend". What a materialistic view. Maybe if you learned to show some gratitude you'd realize that it's not actually the cost of the present but the thought that counts.

I had no card or present from my sister on my birthday, I had a card but no present from my mum, but so what, it's only a birthday and it really isn't that big a deal.

if you were my sister I probably wouldn't buy you anything at all.

my dh is relatively "rich" compared to his siblings.
most of them always buy decent/thoughtful pressies. dh is useless and i refuse to end up buying lots of pressies for his family (well except his mum) as i have a big enough family of my own to remember.

anyway, they have cottoned on and just say to him "oh, some cash would be great so i can buy something special for me"... he is thrilled - just bungs some £ in a card.

a bit materialistic/unthoughtful imo but seems to work well all round!

and it's not because he doesn't care for them, he is just totally maxed with work and can't remember what day of the week it is, never mind that it is x or y's birthday next week! he does usually phone them on their birthday though... card usually follows!

We are reasonably well off. But when it comes to shopping for DH's sister, it really is my job. And I don't know her taste that well. I do my best, and I think she was reasonably pleased last year (nice bracelet from a trip - silver etc), but I know she doesn't expect much from us and knows we are disorganised and rubbish.

You have said he & his wife both work full time. You just have to read on here, how many people find time for nothing as they work full time...... so he may have remembered at the last minute.. I'd be greatful I think

I think if you feel the issue is that he hasn't put any thought into it then tell him how you feel. He would probably be quite upset to know that you feel birthdays are so significant he's let you down.

I remember being really gutted when my DH didn't remember my first Mothers Day. He just didn't see the relevance as DS1 was only a few months old so couldn't 'buy' mummy a present (Men!). After told him I felt let down because it was the gesture that mattered he never forgot again.

If the issue is the amount that he's spent I think you need to let it go and just be thankful that they remembered it was your birthday - we all know money's not everything.

And happy birthday

Happy birthday fellow pisceans! It's my birthday tomorrow and I will be very surprised if I even get a card from my brother.

Hope your db comes through for you bubblerock, and if he doesn't that somebody else does XX