To be pissed with DH for spending £100 on food that might last is 4days?

[Rinkydinkypink]

I gave him a list. He spent £100 on a dont know what! Packed lunches and dinners for 4people. Hes got 1 cucumber, 1 lettuce, 5 tomatoes, 4 carrots. 1 thin crust (bloody expensive) chicken pizza (my kids dont eat chicken pizza and my eldest and dh will eat a whole pizza each). 6 cereal bars, 4 yogurts. Etc etc. Im ill so he did the food shop. Im now going to have to go again as I'm working all next week and weve got enough till probably Wednesday at a push. You can tell he never cooks the bloody tea. Hes cross with me. Says why did he bother. Im not very amused

Brutus I suppose we all have our skills and blindspots. My husband can tell how much fabric you'd need to make a skirt, a pair of trousers or some curtains without a tape measure. He can do it just by looking.

He's not that good with food. He came back from the fishmongers yesterday with Moby Dick. I cut off two bits for a cod thing I'm doing us and about 10oz of it has gone in the freezer in two portions. He honestly thought he was just buying something a little on the generous side.

the stores are designed for you to pick the premium, expensive products. It's actually not really his fault . he was probably having a nice time with the kids.

internet all the way or be VERY specific.

my dh has learned, but only after a bit of coaching... think how long you've been shopping/optimising what you buy. it's quite a skill.

But Stealthand QuiteUnfitABit, surely you would go back if something wasn't in the right order on your list? You wouldn't come back and smugly say you hadn't got it because the shop had done a rearrangment since the last visit?

I'm no stranger to being anal, btw. I have a sheaf of itemised receipts showing the things I've bought reduced and stashed in the freezer. I carefully cross them off as I go so I know what's in there.

Today was two Cumberland sausages for breakfast sandwiches and two portions of the enormous cod landed by my husband yesterday for dinner tonight. Tomorrow will be about 8oz of pork fillet for a sweet and sour thing. And so on.

Ticking them off gives me immense satisfaction. The hours just fly by in this house

Yeah, he needs snapping out of this right now. That is appalling. You can't even be ill because he can't run the house if you're out of action without bankrupting you?? Christ no. He needs to learn, and damn fast, how to do the shopping. If you have to teach him the way you'd teach a teen, then you need to get it done. God forbid you end up sick again and this time for months. With incredibly limited exceptions (e.g. breastfeeding) there is literally no excuse for either adult in a functioning house to be unable to pick up the slack of the other adult, especially in basic duties like cooking, cleaning, admin, etc. Otherwise that's not a partnership of equals. You might be better at some stuff, and him at other stuff, but ultimately you each need to be able to stand in for the other for as much stuff as possible.

my dh has learned, but only after a bit of coaching... think how long you've been shopping/optimising what you buy. it's quite a skill.

I agree readthethread. The typical man thing is to laugh about food and the typical woman thing is to be beguiled by 3 for 2 offers on make up. I found myself caught out in Superdrug when I just went in for some own brand hand lotion. The assistant talked about how if I bought two hand lotions and used some of my points I could get 5ml of Versace Bright Crystal Eau de Toilette.

In a confused moment I agreed. On the way home I remembered that I don't wear perfume. At home I sniffed it and realised I would not be breaking that rule. I'll give it to my friend's little girl.

Sometimes I'm glad I'm single if there are adults out there who can't manage a shop for a week with £100. Couple of treats fine (say the ice cream) but spending £100 on enough to last a few days is acquired helplessness.

I managed to "learn" to shop without anyone teaching me - no-one wrote me a list and explained to me what my child would or wouldn't eat. Make him shop when it runs out mid-week. Then take it in turns to shop every other week.

limited No obviously not - I do the list order purely for me, and luckily my DH has the same system I do feel a bit irritated when the teens add things willy-nilly to the list, in the wrong aisle order!

typical woman thing is to be beguiled by 3 for 2 offers on make up

Seriously?!

I've never done that in my life and I doubt any of my friends have either.

I mean I get that it works or they wouldn't do it, but unless you were going to buy it anyway then why... just why!

My DF has always done the shopping, and a lot of the cooking. But my DM has to write the list in great detail.and then they go over it together to make sure he understands her handwriting.

He is good at getting a bargain and can cope with items like 'dinner for 3 days',

BUT, he can't/doesn't/won't read labels. He often buys 'light' 'diet' or 'reduced fat' stuff by mistake, even when it's his own items he is buying. He hates this. We can't understand why he just doesn't Read The Bloody Label.
DM finds it hilarious as she doesn't mind healthy eating. He gets so annoyed with himself.
(He is colour-blind so we understand that he can't just grab (for example) the red packet. But I'm sure that would make me more careful to read everything)

the typical woman thing is to be beguiled by 3 for 2 offers on make up

I'd love to see research on that. The first thing "offers" trigger in my brain is a klaxon of dark suspicions. I will happily stand with my phone out, calculating to the pence how much stuff costs in smaller/larger containers/amounts, individually or as multi-buys. Inevitably, the results reaffirm my notion that far too many "special offers" are special purely for the supermarket, and not at all for the consumer.

OH dear I would not be impressed, but its not worth falling out about.

Do an online top up shop

I sent my husband in similar circumstnces once, and we ended up wth no dinners, but lots of snacks!

"What's attractive about a man who can't behave like an adult?"

I don't get this either.

I'm calming down. He does know how but is out of practice. I've been a sahp for the last 4 years and as such all the cooking shopping etc i did. It was just easier. I'm now working full time. Only started 4 weeks ago so it's all very new to everyone. Dh does help cook stuff but it's usually at the weekend and he can be very wasteful simply because he's not done it as much as me. The tables are turning. If he gets in first he starts tea but he still needs to be told what to cook. I'm a good cook a d can make stuff up as i go along. Dh needs instructions. He's clearly paid no attention to what the kids eat and what we buy. He's usually good with money but obviously doesn't realise how much things these days cost. I'm alot tighter with our budget just because ive had to be while not working.

However he's still an adult man and it's still just a food shop. Its not rocket science!

You're going to be far too poorly for the next few days to be doing any food-prep or cooking. He'll need to make meals for the family out of his precious one chicken pizza and ice-cream all on his ownsome.

As a safety back-up plan I'd do an online shop on about Tuesday for delivery on Weds. Sod going out yourself today! Those bloody £1 cereal bars can be his lunches.

"I was just trying to help. I don't know why I bothered!"

"I can't for the life of me figure out why either. Sabotage or pure and utter idiocy? I haven't decided yet. I'll let you know when I've seen further evidence. Like when you come back from the shops with exactly what was on the list that you didn't get the first time round. I'm going for a little lie-down now. Laters."

Ha! I sent my DH shopping once -never again! OP give the kids the chicken pizza, plus some sides and let them know in no uncertain terms, they either eat it or go without.

I'm gobsmacked at this. Utterly gobsmacked.

Yes, I'll give DP a list, especially if he's going to the large Tesco 100 miles away (only small Co-Ops nearby). But generally it will only include things I've run out of, such as specific herbs, chick peas or cat food, or ingredients I need for a specific dish (such as tahini). I do most of the cooking (because I enjoy it, he does the washing and cleaning up so, in my opinion, I get the best part of the deal) so I know what's needed. (Plus I tend to know more what's in stock for the animals, hence putting cat food on the list.)

That's as far as it goes. He can do a £150* shop on the back of a list of three things. Because he knows what we eat. He'll notice if we're short of things such as butter or cheese and buy them. He'll get me meats (such as salami) for me to have for my lunch despite not liking them himself. He'll pick up enough fruit and veg to last us (and the animals - he knows exactly what they like) the week.

It's not difficult.

(* Weekly amount's usually about £60, but we stock up well if we're at a large supermarket.)

A pound per fucking cereal bar is unforgiveable.

Kewcumber I should have said stereotypical instead of typical.

I agree Elisaveta. A box of cornflakes is less that £1 if you buy own brand but not as easy to put in your pocket.

I will happily stand with my phone out, calculating to the pence how much stuff costs in smaller/larger containers/amounts, individually or as multi-buys. Inevitably, the results reaffirm my notion that far too many "special offers" are special purely for the supermarket, and not at all for the consumer.

I agree ForTheSakeOfFuck except for the phone bit. I can do it in my head.

Am shocked he spent £100 on so little. But unless you'd specified specific meals : Monday chilli
Tuesday pie and veg etc,

What meal does he think you are going to eat tomorrow?

I spent £75 yesterday on two days' dinners, snacks because dd is on holiday now, milk, tea bags, bit of veg, salad, magazine, fold-up shopping bag, bottle of wine, pack of beers.

Use it to your advantage and ask for a bigger contribution towards food.

Why didn't you just do the shop yourself online? Much easier :)

Yes, why not do it yourself when you're ill instead of expecting the other responsible adult in the house to be able to perform a simple task.

I actually don't think it's that bad unless the money is a problem for you. He'll just have to go out again in a couple of days with a very specific list. I think if you aren't in the habit of planning meals, you can look at a pile of food and think yes, that's enough! When it's mostly snacks.

I do the meal plans, shopping list and cooking and dh does the shopping. He does go off piste and buy extra, but so would I! But we can afford it.