To be pissed with DH for spending £100 on food that might last is 4days?

[Rinkydinkypink]

I gave him a list. He spent £100 on a dont know what! Packed lunches and dinners for 4people. Hes got 1 cucumber, 1 lettuce, 5 tomatoes, 4 carrots. 1 thin crust (bloody expensive) chicken pizza (my kids dont eat chicken pizza and my eldest and dh will eat a whole pizza each). 6 cereal bars, 4 yogurts. Etc etc. Im ill so he did the food shop. Im now going to have to go again as I'm working all next week and weve got enough till probably Wednesday at a push. You can tell he never cooks the bloody tea. Hes cross with me. Says why did he bother. Im not very amused

I vot for bringing him with you for a couple of shops and getting him in the kitchen more. Too many men rely on their partners to do all the domestic labour - not necessarily because they are deliberately trying to get out of it, but because they went from their mothers to their partners and never got to learn. And then women make jokes (not unlike a lot of the comments here) that belittle them and they still don't learn. The patriarchy works us into the ground for free and makes fools of our men. Teach him, so you can take a load off permanently.

*vote oops

Was he shopping in Waitrose or in M&S?!

Hes cross with me. Says why did he bother

Why did he bother?

£100 is more than enough for food for a week, and instead he spunked it on magazines, ice cream and £1 each cereal bars (WTF?!).

I suspect that he is suffering from Fairy Syndrome. The idea that no matter what gets bought at the supermarket its ok because the Fairies will sort it out and magically transform one chicken pizza in 4 pizzas of differing types. I agree that you should leave the cooking to him and see how he fares. Deliberate incompetence only works if you play along by clearing up after his fuck up, so dont. I can pretty much guaranteee that he will make a better job of shopping next time after trying to make a meal for four with 1 chicken pizza!

And then women make jokes (not unlike a lot of the comments here) that belittle them and they still don't learn.
This. Because you do have to learn.
In our house, we have a fridge list, and we all add to the list (including teens) as we use things up. Then DH or I do the shop. He buys different extras from me, but if he's shopping that's his prerogative. And vice versa.

Does anyone else remember the man (or was it woman?) who misread the shopping list they were given, and instead of buying "loo rolls" brought back one hundred bread rolls instead?

I buy Basics loo roll. Everyone here has to learn not to poke their fingers through it while wiping their bum. In case of heavy-handed accidents, I have a limitless supply of hot water and Basics soap.

buying "loo rolls" brought back one hundred bread rolls instead
no, but one issue with the composite shopping list written by the whole family is that some of it is illegible!

I remember the 100 bread rolls, that was so funny!

I seem to recall that most of the discussion was based on trying to find out the logic behind buying them.....I mean WHY? :o

I take care of all food shopping here for this reason. If dp does it the list needs to be very very specific. To be honest, if I can't go out to do it I just order online.

I buy Basics loo roll. Everyone here has to learn not to poke their fingers through it while wiping their bum. In case of heavy-handed accidents, I have a limitless supply of hot water and Basics soap.

My dp is like one mentioned above; will grab stuff without checking the prices and then be absolutely bewildered that his few items cost so much! He's now started going to Lidl though so it's not so bad. I must admit I like him doing the odd top up shop, as he gets lots of treats!

Op I feel your pain. I don't even like dp coming with me as he chucks loads of expensive crap in the trolley and a weeks shop goes from £100 to £140. Plus he wants a load of fancy bread and bakery items which I end up throwing away monday morning as they are stale.

It's an insult really. It takes a lot longer and is a lot less fun shopping for basics and bargains and actual food tha it is shopping for treats and goodies. Plus the dcs will have been thrilled with their magazines so you look like even more of a killjoy. It's annoying when week in week out you stick to a budget then someone does the shop for 1 week and puts absolutely no thought into it. It's as if they are above actually shopping properly and that it's wifework to do it right. And manswork to be a conquering hero returning from Morrisons with 5 naice bread rolls for £1 that actually won't last beyond today and certainly won't make toast in the morning.

I send mine to aldi if he has to go for whatever reason. Less chance of random bottles of smoothies and danish pastries appearing that way. And if they do they haven't cost £3 per 100ml.

I know someone who said on the rare occasions her husband went to Tesco's for her (yes, I know), she wrote out the list in the order of the shop layout.

So fruit first, then vegetables, cereal at the top then left turn down to meat and fish, right turn up past dairy, bakery at the top etc. If she didn't do it that way, he wouldn't turn back.

She regarded this as an amusing personality trait.

Limited- my mum did this for my stepdad! Now he does an online shop and does it with minimal help as he has shopping lists stored online.

A biggish supermarket - eg. Sainsburys, Tescos - is actually quite a confusing place. There are god knows how many choices as to what pack of loo rolls to buy. Maybe 20 different types if you think colours, size of packs - premium brands, own brands, economy brands. These things will also be positioned so that the value brands are not positioned where someone in a hurry can get them. They'll be high up or low down.

I'd agree that if someone doesn't shop regularly and money is tight they do need a bit of guidance. But I have been known to demand non-perishable items eg. loo roll are returned. (Partners who don't shop regularly need to hang onto receipts. This is the key lesson.)

None of this poor man and you just have to do it yourself bollocks. He feeds the family from what he's bought and does the midweek topup. If he doesn't think it fits in with work sign him up for a delivery setup.

she wrote out the list in the order of the shop layout
I thought everyone did that for their own shopping lists! Then you turn over the top as you go round the shop, so you don't forget anything.

Limited I do that for myself

I don't online shop as am rubbish at amounts. I ordered what I thought were little bags of raisins but they were actually massive bags 8 of them. DH took delivery and assumed there was method in my madness so didn't send them back. Wow we had alot of raisins.

I never let my Dh do the weekly shop shakes head he came with me once in Oz when we lived there, he kept moaning the food bill was too big. He kept throwing stuff in the trolley that we don't normally need.
Bearing in mind I used to spend $90, and this shop was $150, he's never been invited since.

He's allowed to get milk, bread, wine and chocolate.

How can he never have done a weekly shop?

Did he never shop for himself?

See the food being put away, cooked?

If he'd got extras as well, that would be something.

But if there's nothing to make meals with-well he'll just find that out when he's cooking, won't he?

Who are these useless men?? What's attractive about a man who can't behave like an adult? All the "bless..." type comments imply that some of you find that endearing.

Sounds as though they think they're helping the little woman out, rather than taking shared responsibility for a task.

Back in the early 50s, my father was lauded for pram-pushing, nappy-changing, doing housework and cooking (he cooked, so he knew what food needed to be bought; he could count, so he knew how many items to buy; he could see dirt, so he cleaned it) - we haven't moved on much, have we?

YANBU

In these circumstances online is the way to go

My DH has does a few supermarket trips, he shops like it's Christmas and comes back with extras like, blue cheese, fancy crackers, antipasti etc, not the run of the mill ham, cheese and a loaf :) Costs a fortune.

He does buy decent wine though, so I forgive him that bit:)

DH would do exactly what the husband in the OP did - spend 100 quid and have nothing to actually cook a meal with. Premium brands are usually stored at eye level with cheaper/ basics items on lower shelf. He would just pick up whatever was in front of his face.

This thread's been a real eye-opener. I thought it was the 21st century.
babyboomer My dad was the same, in the early 1960s. When my DM gave birth, he came to the hospital with a homemade chocolate cake (you stayed in longer in those days!), and the other mothers were still talking about it years later... I thought things would be different now.