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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you if this person drinks too much

68 replies

Applebite · 01/04/2017 22:20

Not me, but someone v close to me, hence the concern. Amazing generous lovely kind bloke but turns into a bit of a repetitive whingebag after booze!

Average consumption:

4 cans of beer or 1-2 cans and a whole bottle of red wine per night
7-10 pints on fri/sat nights
Nights out with friends - unlimited pints - no real off switch. However this hardly ever happens, so it's the slow steady daily consumption that concerns me. However, any attempt to raise it is met with sulking or "well I never get to go out, this is all I've got" (he has a young DC, so is naturally home a lot at night).

It sounds a lot to me, but I hardly drink, so might be over reacting. What do you think?

OP posts:
maybeshesawomble · 01/04/2017 22:21

Yes. That is an awful lot.

hahahaIdontgetit · 01/04/2017 22:22

That's not a healthy amount. Do they have any booze free days?

JamesDelaneysHat · 01/04/2017 22:22

Yes that's a lot.

ImperialBlether · 01/04/2017 22:23

That's an awful lot, OP. He won't be safe to drive the next morning, either.

Calvinlookingforhobbs · 01/04/2017 22:24

That's really not good for his health

VestalVirgin · 01/04/2017 22:26

A whole bottle of red wine every night? That alone would be too much.

Any amount that is enough to get him drunk in the child's presence is too much, anyway, but long-term, this amount of alcohol will damage his health.

Don't think you can do anything about that as long as he doesn't want to change, though.

foxyloxy78 · 01/04/2017 22:28

That's a crazy amount of alcohol to be consuming on a daily basis.

AddToBasket · 01/04/2017 22:31

Yes, it is a lot. But this is very normal to a high number of people so the danger is that it is normalised for the drinker.

I think the young children thing is not really relevant. Plus, drinking like that is expensive!

Original poster
Applebite · 01/04/2017 22:32

Ah bollocks I thought so. I know you're all right. It makes me v Sad and I'm going to have to say something.

OP posts:
Smeaton · 01/04/2017 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Swirlingasong · 01/04/2017 22:35

Nhs guidelines are 14 units per week. This man is drinking roughly between 8 and 13 units each day plus even more at the weekends.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 01/04/2017 22:37

That's definitely excessive and really bad for you. It could lead to liver damage as well as other serious health problems.

Violetcharlotte · 01/04/2017 22:40

It is far too much. It's very difficult to get though to people when they don't really believe it's affecting them. I've got a close male friend who drinks 2 bottles of wine every single night and has done for the past 6-7 years. He gets up every morning at 7 and goes to work. Most people he knows would never believe how much he drinks. It's going to kill him, but he won't listen then me.

ScarlettFreestone · 01/04/2017 22:42

Yes, it's too much.

The first line on its own is too much.

Ollivander84 · 01/04/2017 22:44

I ended it with someone over a similar amount Sad when the sound of wine opening began to make me feel annoyed I knew it was time to end it
I drink v v little though

EC22 · 01/04/2017 22:48

It's a lot.
I drank almost a bottle of wine per night for almost approx 6 months when my relationship broke down. Once I started to feel better it got less and less.

Travelledtheworld · 01/04/2017 22:55

Does he have a partner at home with him while all this is going on ?
Do they share the childcare?

I more or less stopped drinking when I had my kids you never know when you might need to dash to A&E and you need to be sober for that...

ImperialBlether · 01/04/2017 22:56

I think it's the no 'off switch' that is most concerning. He will resist giving up, but you know that.

Iamastonished · 01/04/2017 22:56

That is a huge amount of alcohol. SIL's husband used to drink too much. He is in permanent residential care now because he has destroyed most of his liver, and the toxins his liver can't process have affected his brain. He is like a zombie now.

OreoDream · 01/04/2017 22:57

Sorry but that's far too much OP Confused

greenworm · 01/04/2017 23:07

Woah, that is definitely too much.

And I say that as someone with fairly laid back standards when it comes to drinking.

A whole bottle of red wine EVERY NIGHT is really quite bad.

ImperialBlether · 01/04/2017 23:11

There are plenty here who do that, greenworm.

HelenaGWells · 01/04/2017 23:21

A bottle of wine is about 10 units and a pint is 2 units. Current guidelines are 14 units a week. So basically he is drinking a weeks worth of alcohol most nights. It also sounds like there are no booze free nights.

This is incredibly bad for him and if it's a long term thing I suspect it's already an addiction.

Help is definitely needed but getting them to realise it is the hardest job.

LuxuryWoman2017 · 01/04/2017 23:22

Ok will admit I used to drink at least this much, nobody could have told me it was too much.
I had to come to my own realisation and now I barely drink.
I know now it is far, far too much but with our boozy culture it felt quite normal, it is normal for so many.

I hope your friend/relative turns it around, it is an awful lot.

I will say also that although I drank so much, if you class alcoholism as an addiction then I wasn't an alcoholic as I stopped pretty much overnight. It is though problem drinking or will become so.

HelenaGWells · 01/04/2017 23:23

There are plenty here who do that, greenworm.

It doesn't make it a good idea. Drinking alcohol every single night is not a good idea anyway, drinking a weeks worth of units in 1-2 days really isn't.