To set this car on fire (parking with pics and diagram)

[BillyButtfuck]

We have been out all day working, I left at 8 and have just picked my boys up to take them home to bed. We came home at the same time (2 cars) and someone has parked across our drive blocking one of our parking spaces. We've managed to get one car on but sort of in the middle of our two spaces and the other car is a few roads away. I don't mind parking and walking but we pay a lot in rent for a property with a driveway with two spaces. I feel I should be able to use it!!!
I've had a bad day anyway so probably seeing red and over reacting but come on, why do people fucking do this

On the photo the red star marks where the dropped kerb to allow access to our driveway begins.
On the diagram the pink cunt is the car. Our houses are link detached. The green is the only bit if verge on the whole road. The rest is all dropped kerb for the parking spaces on people's drives. The verge bit has a proper kerb but is no way long enough to have a car on without blocking either me or ND2.

If you are sure that the people who have parked the car are at home, sound the horn loudly until whoever owns it confesses and moves the car.

Your bright pink cunt is beautiful.

Yes I agree op. I am always very careful when parking but I think that mainly comes from all these parking threads 😀

Great diagrams and pics!

I think you should add a photo of the note on the car 😆

Fantastic diagrams OP! While setting the car on fire may be a bit extreme, Pink cunt Parker is definitely an inconsiderate dick.

I will get a photo of the note in the morning, I've exceeding my photo uploads for the day I'm not going to sound my horn at this time of night, my boys nursery is at the front of my house and I don't fancy waking up teething babies! Who do I call about towing if it is not gone by the morning?

I've never been a curtain twitcher but I'm sat like a crazy person at my window, I would suit a rocking chair and a shot gun.

Set it on fire, shoot owner with crossbow, then leave note for grieving relatives about parking in front of dropped curbs

^^This is genius!!

You could call 101, when our drive was blocked the police used the reg plate and contacted the owner to get it moved.

Difficult to tell from the photos but why couldn't you reverse the silver car in at an angle then park it correctly then park your other car in its space?

Also your dropped kerb doesn't start where you have put the star. It is only the flat bit.

Rainbow we could have if ND1 weren't parked in their spaces but with their cars there too it was a really tricky angle. Also if it isn't gone in the morning that would be really hard to get back out from, can't really tell in the photos but our drive is on a slope which doesn't help either. The star is where the kerb slopes off to the flat, and the flat is in line with the gravel. either way they are parked half a car over the dropped kerb.

I would move Heaven'n'Earth to get car 1 into the space that the car is blocking, get car 2 alongside then phone 101 to tell them that Blue Car has blocked you in.

Obviously the Fly in the Ointment of this plan is:
a:- you'll look bonkers and have all your NDN twitching their nets. You'll need to Kill Them All
b:- your car/drive/other car have already appeared in the photo on the worldwideweb/Mumsnet , so you'll need to Kill Us All.

I can see a slight problem there

Could be friends of ND2, who you don't get on with ... they chose to block your dropped kerb and not theirs...

Interesting to see if the owners apologize tomorrow

Does the car have a vanity plate? Like N0 3L3 or R1 CH...

I think if you set fire to the car then no court in the land would find you guilty.

Judge So you admit that you set the car on fire?
Billy yes I do your honour, you see he was parked over my drive.
Judge oh fair enough then. Pub?*

Ivy ** MN is a good enough judge, jury and executioner in my book. But I promise I won't set anything on fire, that was a jokeish.

No movement I'm afraid. I'm going to bed soon. DP is sleeping in the lounge for unrelated reasons, and has promised to wake me if he hears anything which could be them trying to make a night time escape.

There's been a few posters on the side of the parked car and I take those on board, so will give them the benefit of the doubt and hope it is an honest mistake. Thanks for the perspective. It's really easy to see red and assume the worst in people I guess.

I'm with ivy. I reckon judge would tell the parked car owner to stop parking like a cunt or things like fire happens to cars...

ivyleague 😂😂

Go out in the dead of night and gouge parkedlikeacunt.com down the side of it.

Eggs are a bugger to get off a car
They get right into the rubber windscreen seal and even after a very ££ carwash , there was still a residue.

You know how clumsy you can be Billy taking an open tray of eggs to the woman across the road and you'll trip because you're used to the car being 'There' and now its 'There'. ........

What Target said. I would get your car moved over inch by inch so you can park your second one in, then 101 to get it towed.
Someone did this exact thing to me this week, and I gave them the angriest look I could as the passenger was in the car. I had to nip out for the school run but they had moved forward when I got back.

Check its not a diesel first, they don't burn so good (so I'm told, I've never actually tried to torch one)

Put a potato up the exhaust pipe.

Excellent diagram and pictures.

I would seriously consider a bit of midnight road painting for that kerbed area