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AIBU?

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Original poster

Held to ransom by a cat and a 4yr old...

108 replies

MrsMac74 · 31/03/2017 23:42

We pay 3k a month to live in a beautiful, beautiful, house and the bloody cat is ruining it. She follows us everywhere, all day long. She walks beside us, walks across in front of us, stands so close to our feet we don't realise she's there and so constantly trip over her. Constantly nee-owing too - just so annoying.
She is well-fed but under-loved - we have a baby and a 4yr old, so life is busy. When carrying the baby, we have to deploy a strange knee-lifting prance-walk, just to be sure she's not under our feet and about to send us hurtling towards the floor.
She invariably stands right in our way when dashing between baby in the living room and grabbing something in another room. It's dangerous. I think she's been accidentally kicked in the head so many times, she's gone mad.
Tried explaining to our 4yr old that the cat would better off living with someone else as she's obvs not happy, that it would be better for everyone etc etc. He came back into the room sobbing, after losing our other (adored) cat in the summer, he feels it would be too much to lose this one too. And she's his friend (despite never showing any interest in the blasted thing).
Question is, do we persevere and re-home the cat? I thought we could maybe offer him a goldfish as a replacement (a bit crap, I know). Would our son get over the heartbreak? He is still cut-up about the other cat dying in the summer. I don't want to cause him any more pain but I am at the end of my tether with this cat. Idea please.

OP posts:
Headofthehive55 · 01/04/2017 08:40

Goodness. The first time the cat bit me would have been the last. Why on earth would you put up with it?

StarryIllusion · 01/04/2017 08:42

Has it occurred to you that this dream house of yours presumably has doors that can be closed to keep her out of the way? If not then perhaps you've had one too many kicks to the head.

pilates · 01/04/2017 08:50

Mrsmac74 what a depressing thread this. Yes rehome immediately. Not sure the relevance of how expensive and beautiful your house is and don't get another animal. You sound callous and horrible.😡

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 01/04/2017 09:00

Goodness. The first time the cat bit me would have been the last. Why on earth would you put up with it?

You know it's not the same as being bitten by a dog, right?

My cats don't bite in anger but we have one in the family who bites to show he loves you - it's a 'thing' with that breed

JeNeSuisPasVotreMiel · 01/04/2017 09:02

It's a long winded way to go about a stealth boast, that's for sure.

MrsEvadneCake · 01/04/2017 09:07

The cat sounds like it needs more attention. Does it play? Will it chase a ball you could try improving its environment with toys.

If it cuddles and likes a fuss it's clearly in need of more love and stimulation.

If you can't give it that then do rehome it. But I think you actually owe it to that pet you chose to try.

Oh and I say this as someone who has a total terror of a cat and three others, plus a mortgage to pay on my not dream but bloody needed home , a job, a DH that works away and two children with additional needs so am totally aware of time issues etc.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 01/04/2017 09:08

Totally agree with Evadne

HermioneJeanGranger · 01/04/2017 09:11

Goodness. The first time the cat bit me would have been the last. Why on earth would you put up with it?

You do realise it's perfectly normal for cats to bite in play, yes? It's a bit like rehoming a dog for licking you!

MrsEvadneCake · 01/04/2017 09:11

Thanks Liv

The fact you say it's always been a pain in the neck OP and add that the one that died was adored is really telling. Made me quite sad. Think you got them both because they came as a pair to be rehomed and only wanted the one actually.

Poor cat.

TupperwareTat · 01/04/2017 09:15

What are you feeding her?

TupperwareTat · 01/04/2017 09:16

Has she got a cat tower/scratch post thing or igloo bed as her own space?

LynetteScavo · 01/04/2017 09:18

I think you loves the cat really.

Your DS definitely does.

And the cat obviously loves you.

You need to persevere for the sake of your DS and the cat.

Chippednailvarnishing · 01/04/2017 09:19

Send the cat on holiday to Maui.

VeryButchyRestingFace · 01/04/2017 09:22

I fucking hate 🐱. But by God, your OP sounded cold.

And what the relevance of a £3k pm house has to do with a distressed cat is beyond me. Hmm

Do you think because you're rich you should get to escape even the teeniest challenges that life throws up?

motherinferior · 01/04/2017 09:24

You sound exhausted. Small child, baby and a maddening cat.

I'd start asking your friends if any of them would like her. Even if it's only for a bit.

Cats are maddening. It's part of what they are. Small babies and small children ditto. It's quite a hard combination.

I might add, for the benefit of the YOU EVIL CAT HATERs, that I am very fond of cats - we had three till very recently and I miss the filthy-tempered one who died. The two we still have were taken in from over the road (asthma, not evil cat-haters, before anyone piles in, and asthma developed in pregnancy so the owner wasn't to know). I also think the OP sounds at the end of her tether. Five minutes to play with a cat can feel like just one more damn thing.

AliceKlar · 01/04/2017 09:40

The cat sounds like it's being a cat. Some need/like more human attention than others. My friend's cat is more like a dog in that he will seek out whoever is in the house and choose to be with them. Unless he is having a nap he will follow you about and weave in and out of your legs, tripping you up along the way unless you keep stopping. He likes company when he eats and has a lot to say for himself. Other cats will hang about till you feed them and then bugger off but others, like yours and my friend's won't.

is your cat scatching furniture, ripping fabrics etc or just wanting more attention? It seems v unfair to boot him out for being attention seeking if a) he's suffering the loss of the other cat and b) just wanting a bit more TLC

Oliversmumsarmy · 01/04/2017 09:41

Maybe your general attitude is what the cat is picking up on.

I had a dog that needed walking everyday and 2 cats and 2 virtually under 2s, a tiny house that needed major renovations, think floorboards up and it never once crossed my mind that I should get rid of cats or dog they were family. Your dc are only young what happens when they annoy you or worse. Will you get rid of them.

I think you are trying to make everything perfect and it doesn't matter what you are paying for your mortgage life isn't perfect

HazelBite · 01/04/2017 09:42

The cat is missing its former housemate. Even if two cats never get on if one dies the other does mourn.
The OP needs to give the poor thing extra attention, or re-home it to somewhere/someone who will care.

motherinferior · 01/04/2017 09:45

It's a cat. It will be perfectly happy if it is rehomed. Most of ours have taken a look round, thought 'ah, so this is who feeds me now' and had a little nap. They don't do 'family'. They have servants.

BernardsBum · 01/04/2017 09:50

Such a sensible post from Motherinferior. The rest of you need to rein it in. I know the £3k-house thing was a twattish way to start a thread, but cut MrsMac some slack - a 6m, a 4yo and an annoying cat, you need Wine & Gin & Cake

SlothMama · 01/04/2017 09:52

Rehome the cat to someone who will actually love it and won't be a nuisance to them. And then never take on a pet ever again so you won't be inconvenienced by it.

SlothMama · 01/04/2017 09:53

Also what has the cost of your house got to do with anything? You come across as a bit of a nob to be perfectly honest.

ClaryBeanHorshAndMe · 01/04/2017 09:54

Cats are sometimes evil little critters, that's just how they are.

Ours meowed for about 3 months ever summer at the top of her little lungs, loudly. No amount of food, scratching or cuddles could fix anything.

I'm so gosh darn happy the neighbours seem to have forgiven us...

Anyhow, is the cat bored?

Because if she's an indoor cat and now without DCat2? I think her live may have become boring and lonely.

Obvious solution? RESCUE AN OTHER CAT!! ;)

motherinferior · 01/04/2017 09:57

Thank you BBSmile.

Of course the OP can have a cat at another point. It's all just too much at the moment. It's a cat. Not a child. They are self-centred evil bastards. It will be fine.

MargaretCavendish · 01/04/2017 09:59

Sorry, did you think that your cat would know when you were busy and leave you alone?

Rehoming this cat to get it away from you might not be the worst idea, but don't kid yourself that, as motherinferior claims it will be of no bother at all to her. Our cat was rehomed to us (for actual reasons) and he's happy as Larry now, but he's a nervous little thing and it took him weeks to get used to it. For the first week or so he was visibly scared and anxious. It had to be done, but it wasn't nice for him. And that's going straight from one loving home to another. If OP is thinking of taking the cat to a shelter then she should know that this is a distressing period for them, and that for some cats (older ones, ones with ongoing health problems) finding a new home for them can take a significant length of time. Sometimes it's not possible at all. Sometimes cats need rehoming and it's best for everyone, but don't kid yourself that it's consequence free for them.