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AIBU?

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Original poster

Held to ransom by a cat and a 4yr old...

108 replies

MrsMac74 · 31/03/2017 23:42

We pay 3k a month to live in a beautiful, beautiful, house and the bloody cat is ruining it. She follows us everywhere, all day long. She walks beside us, walks across in front of us, stands so close to our feet we don't realise she's there and so constantly trip over her. Constantly nee-owing too - just so annoying.
She is well-fed but under-loved - we have a baby and a 4yr old, so life is busy. When carrying the baby, we have to deploy a strange knee-lifting prance-walk, just to be sure she's not under our feet and about to send us hurtling towards the floor.
She invariably stands right in our way when dashing between baby in the living room and grabbing something in another room. It's dangerous. I think she's been accidentally kicked in the head so many times, she's gone mad.
Tried explaining to our 4yr old that the cat would better off living with someone else as she's obvs not happy, that it would be better for everyone etc etc. He came back into the room sobbing, after losing our other (adored) cat in the summer, he feels it would be too much to lose this one too. And she's his friend (despite never showing any interest in the blasted thing).
Question is, do we persevere and re-home the cat? I thought we could maybe offer him a goldfish as a replacement (a bit crap, I know). Would our son get over the heartbreak? He is still cut-up about the other cat dying in the summer. I don't want to cause him any more pain but I am at the end of my tether with this cat. Idea please.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 01/04/2017 00:30

To offer perspective on your 4 year old.

Our old boy died when youngest DC was 4. The DC still mourn him and remember him despite having 2 new furry fuckers to fawn overnight. He was mostly elderly and spent little time hanging out around them. I agree that selling the "Cat would be happier elsewhere" line to your DC is a bit poor - your responsibility, for a lifetime ideally. Most cat situations are fixable. Try harder, get your DP on board too (assuming you have DP in the picture).

Thingvellir · 01/04/2017 00:32

Oh is it a mortgage? Then OP is paying down the principle to herself not paying 3k into the ether of rent. It's such a weird way to start a thread that's really about how to help an unhappy cat...

The cat is demonstrating that it is stressed, as pp said, a trip to the vet to see how you can help it be more settled is the way forward

My cats do the walking in front of me thing when they are hungry, often just after they've eaten...

ACatCalledFang · 01/04/2017 00:34

We have a cat who is a git. See my username for further details. Also a biter (prefers legs to feet). So I feel your pain.

We've had ours for over four years, she's actually better than she used to be but since we acquired a baby (now a toddler), she gets less attention than she'd like. Basically, she only gets fusses and food on demand, unlimited access to the outdoors during daylight hours, at least half an hour of play each evening if she's in the mood, and a choice of bed/sofa/armchair to sleep on. And lots of places to hide out of reach of our toddler. Life's a bitch. We are the worst owners.

Not sure that's helpful but wanted to let you know someone has heard you. My view at the moment is that some cats, like humans, are glass-half-empty types. The question is, can you do anything to make them happier, or would it be fairer to rehome them?

Ours is very difficult to manage in a flat with a cat-obsessed toddler but I'm not convinced she'd be much happier elsewhere nor that many people would want her and I don't think there's much we could do for her care-wise to improve things. And she may be a git but she's our git. So she stays. But she is no worse than she used to be, it's just that I have less patience (sleep-deprived).

See what the vet says. But ultimately you, as the adult, get to decide whether you and she would be happier for her to be living elsewhere and whether rehoming may be the responsible thing.

mirime · 01/04/2017 00:41

Our cats ruined our house by scratching chunks out of the carpets, living room door, the wall by the window and also stripped a fair bit of wallpaper off the walls. One of the boys is black and seems to love lying about in the dark waiting to get tripped over. He also likes scrabbling at stuff, which is painful when it's your legs.

When we moved again they started stripping the wallpaper again. The girl also started crapping everywhere, which was a worry with a baby that was rapidly getting more mobile.

Still have the three of them. They've come round to ds thanks to feliway and because now he keeps feeding them chicken (off my plate, but that's a different issue Hmm).

OttoChocoLab · 01/04/2017 01:37

Can you just put the cat outside most of the time? Let it in to feed and then put it out again?

Janey50 · 01/04/2017 02:54

Why bother getting a cat if you so obviously have no interest in it? The best thing would be to re-home asap before you make her life any more miserable.

ZaraW · 01/04/2017 06:23

Hard to tell if your comment about the cat that died was adored was sarcasm yet you barely tolerate the remaining one.

Cats need love and attention and as you see it as a massive inconvenience in your dream home (seriously why would you even put that)?! The cat deserves better than you and would hopefully be happier in a new home.

ZaraW · 01/04/2017 06:27

Cheby that's what cats do! Mine is ten and she still does it totally normal behavior.

SabineUndine · 01/04/2017 06:32

Your cat is missing the other one that has died, and also, I'd guess, getting less attention than before you had children. The getting under your feet thing is normal from a cat that wants attention. Mine does it to the point where I have to shut him in the sitting room to get ready for work in the morning without breaking my neck.

I haven't got any solutions though,other than more attention and reassurance for your cat.

triskele · 01/04/2017 06:45

Maybe your family should give you away for being annoying.

You shouldn't be allowed to have a pet if this is what you want to do when it's. it the perfect lap cap cat!

HemanOrSheRa · 01/04/2017 06:55

Good grief. Is this an April Fool's prank thread? I hope so.

MrsELM21 · 01/04/2017 07:02

Would you be less annoyed by the cat if you lived in a cheaper house? Hmm

Guitargirl · 01/04/2017 07:03

Rehome the cat.

Tell your 4-year-old that the cat was poorly and had to be put to sleep.

Please - for the love of God - make that cat the last pet you ever have.

SillyMoomin · 01/04/2017 07:07

Is this a poor April fools???!

No one can be this obtuse about a pet surely?

BipBippadotta · 01/04/2017 07:09

Jesus, I'll take your fucking cat if it's so much of a burden to have it walking around your £3k/month dream house and wanting some attention. Just don't ever get a pet again.

ColouringMandalas · 01/04/2017 07:53

Top tip- homes are happier if you ditch the whiny bitch and stroke the meowing cat. HTH.

ohtheshameshameshame · 01/04/2017 08:16

Can we have some pictures of the house and the cat and we'll compare?

Hmm poor cat 🐱

LadyPW · 01/04/2017 08:25

You have a cat that is behaving like a cat and you want to get rid?! My dog & one of my cats do the same thing (the dog especially) - they're both getting on a bit now (not that you'd guess) and I'm struggling to cope with the thought that some time in the next few years I'll be losing them. I just don't see how you could actually want to get rid of a pet that was doing exactly what you'd expect it to. I really hate people like you.
Maybe you should get rid of the kids too. After all, they'll be following you and wanting your attention when you could be admiring your £3k a month wonderhome.
Angry

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 01/04/2017 08:31

So she has already been rescued by you but now you want to send her to yet another home just because you have your family now and you can't really be arsed to give the cat any attention? Nice.

The cat sounds unhappy.

What about the kids? If they irritate you, will you send them away too?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 01/04/2017 08:33

A goldfish as a replacement? Dear God.

coldcanary · 01/04/2017 08:34

Oh ffs even the best cats on the planet can get on people's nerves and act like knobs at time! Did you miss the part where she says the cat gets petted and cuddled and that she likes cats?
You've had some good advice among the hand wringing, a check up with the vet and advice from them should help you and the cat out. Having had to do that prancing, walking in hot coals walk myself I get you, I'm still shocked none of us broke our bloody necks for about 3 months..
I'm just surprised nobody has suggested you rehome the kids, that's what usually happens 🙄

coldcanary · 01/04/2017 08:34

Cross post Grin

Universitychallenging · 01/04/2017 08:37

I pay a lot less than 3k and my cat is still a pain in the ass and I nearly tip over her. The dog is a pain too. And so are my kids.

Can I give them all away and live in a beautiful 3k house?

(Really no idea why the 3k is relevant it makes you sound like a money orientated snob)

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 01/04/2017 08:38

How is the cat ruining the £3k home though? Confused

Hassled · 01/04/2017 08:39

We had a cat who was on a mission from God to kill us everytime we went up or down the stairs - whatever step you thought she was on, she'd be on the one your foot was about to come down on. She'd weave in and out - it was perilous and stressy and also bloody infuriating. It made her hard to like, tbh. So I do have a lot of sympathy. Try Feliway for a bit - see if that helps.

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