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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sexist security guards?

26 replies

LittleG69 · 31/03/2017 10:11

I work for a Government department and part of my job involves going out to see businesses for which I use a pool car.

The last couple of times I've been to get the car keys from our security guards (who are employed by an outside contractor) one of them (not the same one) has remarked 'are you going shopping?'. AIBU to report them on the grounds that they wouldn't have said this to a man and I shouldn't be dealing with this sexist 'joke' in 2017?

OP posts:
Crispbutty · 31/03/2017 10:13

Really wouldn't bother me.. you have to work with these people. Do you want them thinking you are a humourless misery who gets offended so easily.

ThePiglet59 · 31/03/2017 10:13

I'm stunned that somebody who works as a security guard has dated and un-PC attitudes.

Did he learn nothing at university?

Goldfishjane · 31/03/2017 10:20

I'm with you OP.

Piglet, what a lovely attitude you have.

Homemadeapplepie · 31/03/2017 10:21

I would assumed he was being ironic and would have replied something like "yeah if I have time after I've finished at the hairdressers"

Original poster
LittleG69 · 31/03/2017 10:25

Homemadeapplepie I wish I'd have thought of a suitable comment like that tbh!

OP posts:
ThePiglet59 · 31/03/2017 10:27

"Piglet, what a lovely attitude you have."

Thank you.

KC225 · 31/03/2017 10:27

Hahaha The Piglet.

Goldfishjane · 31/03/2017 10:34

Piglet, you're most welcome.

Ooh the hair comment is good....but it's rarely worth engaging with those comments tbh.

boolifooli · 31/03/2017 10:36

I'd be more inclined to pull them up on it there and then. Challenge it and name it as sexist. Make a note of the date and time and what was said. And then report if it happens again.

CheWasABitOfAHomophobe · 31/03/2017 10:56

Tell them to fuck off. If they look surprised suggest "you should report me for that. Make sure to tell them why I said it though".

I couldn't be arsed to report it.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 31/03/2017 10:57

I would say be sarky and laugh it off with something like "yeah I'm going to buy loads of shoes now. Will you just be stood here making sexist comments?"

abbsisspartacus · 31/03/2017 11:03

Maybe he is a clumsy guy trying to chat you up

BagittoGo · 31/03/2017 11:11

It was a joke! Am I missing something here? He probably tells the blokes are they off to play golf.

feathermucker · 31/03/2017 11:35

Piglet , wtf?!

Patronising much!

kissmethere · 31/03/2017 11:41

Piglet, not as charming as one are you?

BorpBorpBorp · 31/03/2017 11:45

It was sexist, you should report it if you have the energy. I personally wouldn't bother as it's such a low level thing that happens all. the. time. A guy I work with says similar things about "you ladies with your shopping all the time" whenever a woman has a parcel delivered.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 31/03/2017 11:48

I wouldn't report it but I would challenge it. Firmly, and without the merest crack of a smile, say 'No I am going to visit a client (or whatever) because that is my job.' And do it every time.

abbis so is it OK to be sexist if he's trying to chat her up? Irony, much?

ZaraW · 31/03/2017 13:18

Yes you are BU it was only a bit of banter and you could easily have come back with something to put him in his place. I can't believe anyone would be reported for this.

BarbaraofSeville · 31/03/2017 13:34

So it's OK to tolerate sexism as just a bit of fun or banter on a way that would never be ok if it was racism or homophobia?

Because all us wimmin are any good for is spending our partners money on looking pretty? Hmm

BarbaraofSeville · 31/03/2017 13:39

ha che I had my arse slapped on the tube once while I was a bit pissed and without thinking I spun round and slapped the guy across the face.

He seriously said that he would report me for assault. I said that was fine as I could report him for sexual assault while the police were here. He shuffled away a bit sheepish like.

Some people here need to read Everyday Sexism.

ZaraW · 31/03/2017 14:03

It amazes me what people got offended on here.

Onthecouchagain · 31/03/2017 14:24

Yabu. Get a grip.

PebbleInTheMoonlight · 31/03/2017 14:42

What he said was sexist...but definitely low level. He could even be trying to be friendly in a rather stupid way by making small talk.

Next time just ask "Would you honestly say that to a male colleague?"

Then just take it from there. Just by making him think about why he shouldn't say it to you if he wouldn't say it to a man might make him more conscious of how he speaks.

Alternatively he's a neanderthal and will just rib you about something else 'girly' disguised as banter, in which case feel free to report him for unconscious bias based on sex and suggest he needs to revisit his diversity training.

DorisMcSweeney · 31/03/2017 17:37

Sexy security guard you say.....

Sexist security guards?
Birdsgottaf1y · 31/03/2017 18:43

""Do you want them thinking you are a humourless misery who gets offended so easily.""
""It was a joke! Am I missing something here?""

I'm missing what the joke is.

Is it too much to ask that a Woman at work is treated as a professional? And that sexist stereotypes aren't reinforced in a work environment.
As said, if it was racist or cultural, then no-one would be saying that "its banter".

OP, I'd challenge it, rather than report.

Keep it objective and professional.