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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Applying make up in public?

113 replies

Maryhadalittlelambstew · 30/03/2017 17:52

Not really an AIBU but posting for traffic...

I was in a naice department store cafe in Oxford today (not debenhams, think more the one where you buy your knickers or have an emergency poo) and was just grabbing a quick coffee before an appointment I needed to be alert for and given that I had been deprived of sleep the night before due to kids who seemed to be tag teaming to ensure I got as little sleep as possible I decided to whip out my little make up bag and apply some much needed concealer and mascara in an effort to look less like a zombie. I was obliviously faffing away in a corner seat and there was a couple of women (I'm 29, I'd guess they were late 50's early 60's) who were looking over rather distastefully and tutting loudly. I smiled and one of the women asked me if my mother had never told me it was rude to apply make up in public and the other lady chimed in with "its common". Well my mother clearly dragged me up as she has utterly failed to inform me that its uncouth and "common" to apply my make up in public. I could understand it if I'd brushed my hair or sprayed perfume but I thought sitting quietly in a corner with a wee compact was fairly unoffensive but apparently not...I just wondered if its true that it is deemed impolite? Should I have snuck off to the loo's or is it ok to powder ones nose in a naice cafe?

OP posts:
user1489179512 · 30/03/2017 22:30

Applying makeup on a train is uncouth.

bunnylove99 · 30/03/2017 22:36

Yes. Applying make up in public is common. Though not enough to stop me doing it myself from time to time Blush. Your talking about you bodily functions whilst out and about is totally beyond redemption though - yuk. That's truly revolting.

SantasTipsyHelper · 30/03/2017 22:36

Apply make up at home or somewhere with a bit of privacy, as i think it's quite personal. I don't wear it though. I don't like to brush my teeth in public loos if there is anyone else about.

The only thing that irks me is the people applying powder or bronzer when they're on packed public transport as I think that's inconsiderate to the passengers next to them.

Lingotria · 30/03/2017 22:45

On my commute on the tube there are several regulars who apply the full works (including perfect eyeliner) even while crammed in an aisle. It's fascinating

mimishimmi · 30/03/2017 22:46

My mum was the same. To this day I can't do it, even in front of the mirror in a public bathroom. Instead I'm one of those annoying people who take up time in the loo to do it. Which is frankly unhygienic actually but my hangups about it are huge. Don't listen to the judgemental cows or tell them "Oh I've never been in any doubt I'm common, how are you related to the aristocracy?".

SabineUndine · 30/03/2017 23:12

I think it's naff to do any personal grooming in public, but it's beyond vulgar to comment on someone else's behaviour in doing so.

NotCarylChurchill · 31/03/2017 01:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GingerLDN · 31/03/2017 01:50

Applying some concealer or mascara wouldn't bother me but it disgusts me when people brush or play with their hair in a cafe or restaurant.

Singlelady · 31/03/2017 01:59

Maybe I'm very common Blush but can someone explain why you shouldn't do it in public? Like the example of you wouldn't brush your teeth in public is true but that's because you would have bad breath which would be bad hygiene. I get maybe on a train because you could be so close to people and might get powder or something in them or take up space but at a table in a cafe seemingly not close to others? Just doesn't make sense to me. I always touch up in rest rooms but only cause I need a big mirror Grin

Lingotria · 31/03/2017 09:12

When you work long hours like I do anything's fair game. I often brush my hair at my desk before a meeting, might do my make-up and use my perfume too (All the ladies on my bank were kindly bought an expensive hypoallergenic brand from the colleague who sits next to us, as he's allergic but also understands that we are all busy and don't have time to nip to the loo all the time). I don't do my nails or eyebrows at my desk but the CEO who I work for does. She'll often do them while on a telephone meeting.

At the end of the day you need to manage your time as you will. I work in a high pressured corporate environment were frequent disappearences from your desk are noted.

OrraBoralis · 31/03/2017 09:15

I once watched a young, pretty Chinese woman on the train/tube in Hong Kong. She did total full face make-up, curled her eye lashes and her hair then stepped into a skirt and took off her leggings. The journey was only about 45 mins and the transformation was incredible!

She went from pretty, but unremarkable to absolutely stunning and I was just in awe of her skills Grin and no I was not offended or shocked.

watchingthedetectives · 31/03/2017 09:19

Well you say it's common but the queen applies her lipstick in public so I think not!

Laiste · 31/03/2017 09:25

It doesn't bother me to see it being done but i wouldn't do it. But I have no clue why! ConfusedGrin

I think my mum (or nan?) must have told me at some point when i was young that it was rude and it's just gone into my psyche as a sort of law.

I sometimes sneak a bit of lippy on before leaving a restaurant if it's all come off. But i always feel sheepish Grin

IHeartDodo · 31/03/2017 09:34

According to my mum (and a rude old lady at church) the following things are "common" :
-doing your makeup in public (other than a tiny bit of lipstick /powder)
-brushing your hair in public
-going out with wet hair
-eating while walking along

Having said that I'm guilty of all of these, and IMO they were rude to point it out!

ScarlettFreestone · 31/03/2017 13:08

I'm sure it's not what you meant Dodo but Amreading your post I suddenly got a lovely image of you sitting in a church pew with wet hair doing your full face make up with your breakfast beside you.

Grin
iwasbornaunicorn · 31/03/2017 13:43

GeillisTheWitch am i your neighbour? I often do mine in the car cause it gets me away from everyone going Mummmmmmmy & the light is usually better. Another plus with the make up bag being in the car is If I'm running really late i put some on when i get to where ever I'm going.

Not all Oxford people are weird honest some of us are a bit normal.

OP shall we meet & have a make up sit in in said cafe Grin

joystir59 · 31/03/2017 13:54

Full make up is applied on commuter trains into London as routine, even by standing commuters. Once on the train in high summer I sat opposite a bare legged young woman in a short skirt who proceeded to moisturise her legs, ankle to thigh. I thought that was a bit much.

HazelBite · 31/03/2017 14:02

I think putting make up on in public is a bit tacky, but I think its even tackier to comment on someone doing it.

IHeartDodo · 31/03/2017 14:08

Hehe Scarlett I've been in church choirs for years so it's probably happened! (not with congregation present though!)
I once turned up for a rehearsal with wet hair (a good hour before the service so it had time to dry) and got told off by one of the church busybodies!

GeillisTheWitch · 31/03/2017 14:33

GeillisTheWitch am i your neighbour? I often do mine in the car cause it gets me away from everyone going Mummmmmmmy & the light is usually better

My neighbour doesn't have kids so I'm guessing not Grin.

BarbaraofSeville · 31/03/2017 14:38

I don't wear make up or give a fuck what strangers on a train think but I don't see how it is arrogant and entitled or affects anyone else to make the best use of your time in the morning by putting make up on while on the train. I have changed into running gear in the train toilet when it has suited me to do that.

I would also use any toilet available for its intended purpose should the need arise. In fact I am currently in an airport and fully intend to go for a poo before I get on the plane.

I find those marker pen eyebrows quite offensive but I respect that some people choose to make themselves look ridiculous by wearing them.

bsbabas · 31/03/2017 19:05

I brush my hair in public is that uncouth?

Original poster
Maryhadalittlelambstew · 31/03/2017 19:23

Hmm I wonder if people have different opinions on people applying make up on a bus or train than in a cafe as its a place where food is prepped? I can see that as an issue if I was brushing my hair or spraying perfume willy nilly but it was discrete, in offensive smell and in a quiet corner of a cafe.

To the PP who said I was entitled no I'm really not...an entitled post would have been one sided in my own favour, uninterested in other peoples thoughts on the matter and generally along the lines of "I paid just as they did so I'm entitled to do whatever I want blah blah blah" when actually I posted genuinely interested in other peoples thoughts on this.

Haha @iwasbornaunicorn yes lets!

I can honestly say no one had ever told me before it was common to apply make up in public was common but it seems the majority don't have a problem with it. I didn't do it in the loo as a) I'd popped in there before my coffee and they were pretty rank but they were also busy and tight on space that I didn't want to take up as the only standing room was in front of the sinks which meant I would have been in the way for those washing their hands.

OP posts:
Wauden · 31/03/2017 19:28

I know the naice place you mean in Oxford quite well!
I sometimes put a little makeup on, in the bus (double common).
Let's meet up and slap on the full works at not-Debenhams-but-the-knicker-place.

Original poster
Maryhadalittlelambstew · 31/03/2017 19:29

@supermoon100 wow you sound like a delight...gross?! An intimate act?! Christ on a unicycle did you read the post wrong or something? Just to be clear, I was in a quiet corner of a cafe putting on a wee bit of mascara and concealer...I wasn't legs akimbo on a table putting the finishing touches to my vajazzle.

I'm not arrogant or entitled and clearly I did give a fuck what others think as I posted wondering what others thought...

OP posts: