AIBU, gym

9 replies

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 30/03/2017 03:29

I love he has a hobby but every day? I see him for an hour a day as work plus gym then early night. Is this normal?

OP posts:

aibu1983 · 30/03/2017 12:35

my fiance does the same, he goes every evening and sometimes in the morning, he always has since before we met, i love that he has a hobby, it makes him more interesting and i have recently started going a couple of times a week with him. We have had the discussion about when we eventually have a baby together (i have 2 from a previous relationship)that this will have to change and he understands that. We bought a house with a garage so we can build a gym in there for this reason.

He will cancel the gym if there is a special occasion or we have planned something and i would always come first but i find it attractive that he does something and doesnt just slob on the sofa

Doyouwantabrew · 30/03/2017 12:50

This would drive me crazy. We converted our garage into a gym snd excersise together. Cheaper than monthly subscription and the machines are never too busy.

KarmaKit · 30/03/2017 13:02

I wouldn't be happy with seeing my partner for an hour a day. If it was work/commute it would be annoying bit slightly more understandable (though we would be looking at solutions). Something non essential like the gym would really piss me off. Does he have a break at work that he could use for this? How long does he actually spend there in a day?

Summerdaydream · 30/03/2017 15:48

I go every day so I would consider it normal.... I also wouldn't look at my going to the gym as 'non essential' as it is pretty essential to my lifestyle to be honest.

Could he go in the morning? I moved mine to the morning sometimes if I know my DP is finishing around the same time as me so we can get some more quality time in.

Do you have the same days off at all?

Secretariat · 30/03/2017 15:49

Yes, both me and my OH train. Your lucky it's only an hour a day. When OH was training for competition it would be 5 hours a day!

floraeasy · 30/03/2017 15:50

How long is he spending at the gym that your entire evening is gone?

What time is he going to bed?

Seeing someone for an hour a day doesn't seem enough to me. If he is happy with the status quo and you're not though, time to negotiate or end it.

KarmaKit · 30/03/2017 16:08

Essential to your lifestyle and actually essential are different things though aren't they. Working is essential, as is eating, sleeping, hygiene. Reading novels is essential to my lifestyle, but I would survive if I couldn't do it. And if it was infringing dramatically on time with my partner I would look at reducing the time spent on it, or changing the times I do it.

Summerdaydream · 30/03/2017 16:21

For some people that could be the same thing, essential and essential for my life style are one on the same for me. I'm a competitive athlete so training and 'going to the gym' are essential to me.

Obviously to someone else they probably wouldn't be essential at all. And when I'm older my priorities will change, that's why I wondered if the OP's partner was doing/ training for something in particular?

oblada · 30/03/2017 17:19

every day would annoy me too. Pre-kids we both had more time for hobbies, I usually had 2-3 evenings occupied per week and similarly for the OH, with some overlap so it would not be more than 3-4 evenings per week 'occupied' by our hobbies at most and other evenings were just ours. Now with the kids I would say a couple of evenings a week is fine but no more.
I like the gym too and before I got pregnant/started my mat leave I was going twice a week, once in the morning before work and once in the evening after work. I would still get home for 8pm max if going after work so still giving us time as a couple (realistically this meant that he would have just finished dealing with bedtime etc with the kids by the time I get home so perfect :)).

Flip