Is this victim blaming...?

[MissGoggins]

I noticed this article and it made me think about the now infamous judge's closing remarks on her last trial (regarding drunken women and increased vulnerability).

Is this different? Or by using the same logic, is issuing this warning 'victim blaming' those who have already been victims of this crime?

If the former, then how is it different?
If the latter, then what is the alternative?

www.familiesonline.co.uk/local/solihull/in-the-know/students-warned-not-to-use-local-solihull-park

roundaboutthetown I have seen that before.

I said I used to think that. And I assume if they made a campaign about it I wasn't the only person who was confused about some of the issues surrounding consent.

As I said up thread I didn't have the greatest education surrounding sex and consent growing up. There certainly was no YouTube or mumsnet. It is ridiculous once you realise it, but I was a teen and twenty something who didn't have this information and consent at this point was still very much seen as 'implied' if you didn't refuse.

If I had of had this knowledge I might have been more assertive/less easily convinced I was unreasonable if I wanted to stop.

The reason consent was not a priority was of course because sex outside marriage was considered sinful so never discussed.

Abstinence was assumed.

Oh is that what you meant about washing your socks the other day

Opps i am so slow

As others have said i am sorry for the experiences you have had , it is difficult with daughters finding the words to explain sometimes

Well all the time in my case, she tends to scream, shut her eyes and put her fingers in her ears if i mention the words sex, penis or vagina

Even if we are taught about sex and consent, the reality is we are also brought up to be polite, not to be "too assertive," not to want to be seen as "frigid," not to want to be seen as too "easy." And unlike Golilocks, we can't try out different personas to work out what feels right without being judged and putting ourselves at risk from predators. It's impossible not to be confused. We have sexual imagery thrown in our faces all the time, one minute being told it is glamorous, the next that it is sordid and disgusting.

Actually, I have found that it's much harder to talk about consent to boys. The messages that they get are even more confused.

Can you say more about that Bertrand?

Depends rather. Are you going to call me a prick or a sock puppet?

I have made an attempt with the boys

They do feel rather picked on and poor ds2 was completely confused about drunken sex

But at least i can say all those words to them without complete hysterics ensuing

Fair enough Bertrand. Silly me for thinking you would enter into some sort of meaningful conversation instead of taking a cheap shot. As you were.

Excuse me? I'm making a cheap shot?????? Blimey!

You have gone very quickly from accusations of political correctness and calling people hypocritical pricks and sock puppets to wanting reasonable discussion. I don't think it works quite like that.....

I'm puzzled. I went to a very strict Catholic school. They were very clear no always means no
What type of school did you go to ?
Why is your self esteem so bad that you keep taking shots at Trifle ?

Thank god you are here redshoeblueshoe to vouch for the experience of every child at every religious school in Ireland. Fuck, that was a close one, but you've explained it all beautifully.

Thread is over guys, redshoeblueshoe has nailed it. Brilliant conclusion.

There is an actual flouncer's corner, maybe you should try that

An actual flouncers corner you say... well I never.

My my my.