(Following on from yesterday's party food thread) to be irritated by this?

[KTeePee]

Our school discos are on soon and one mother has put a note at the botom of the ticket order form expressing concern that we are selling sweets at this event even though it is during Lent.....

I know it is a church school but I'm a bit about it - surely if she doesn't want her darlings to partake she can just send them without any pocket money?

I grew up with no sweets in Lent, even ahd to wait until Lent was over so i could have my birthday party.

That sounds grim TSAP. How odd to require children to take part in these rituals at such a young age.

Take religion out of schools and then we can stop all this nonsence and people can follow what ever practices suit them at Lent without inflicting them on other people.

Hear hear

i went to a catholic school, there were loads of sweets available at the tuck shop during lent but given that most of your peers weren't eating them it wasn't a problem. i am really surprised at your school's attitude, twinset. it COMPLETELY misses the point.
it's not about insisting that you can't eat sweets, it's about resolve and making a decision and sticking to it. it was great fun, i always thought, whether i resolved to read more books and watch less tv, or to get my homework done early or whatever.

My dds have both given up biting their fingernails for lent. Oh well, it's better than last year when one of them said she was giving up picking her nose! Try telling that to Granny and keeping a straight face.

When our children went to a church school there was a contingent of God Squaddies who came to a parents/governors meeting expressly to complain that the school disco had a Hallowe'en theme and they didn't want any ghosties, ghoulies & witches etc as it offended their Christian susceptibilities.
The PTA meekly caved in and re-named the disco as Fancy Dress. The children wore whatever they wanted anyway.

That Christianity is a broad church doesn't stop many narrow-minded people being in it.

But no body is being inflicted upon, TBH nobody is allowed sweets in school anayway so Lent only affects people bringing in party bags.

I don't think the school is missing the point, dd class have discussed lent and when they spoke about whatthey were going to give up they chose sweets, we discussed this also at a home school meeting and the parents asked the school to support the children in this decision. It has been made clear that as well as giving something up the children should be doing something extra and thatLent is a time for prayer so parents have been making an effort to come into school when mass is on so we can pray with our children and to join prayer meetings at school as well as keeping a prayer journal at home. The giving up sweets thing is a very minor part of Lent TBH and I see it more as a way of visually and very simply making easter day very exciting for very young children as they will be allowed chocolate!

From what I have observed dd is not finding lent grim but is finding it to be a very special time that has bought us closer togther as a family.

If its anything like my school discos, she wont have to worry about the sweets, its the sneaking in of alcohol!! (yes that was even in my primary school!! what i nice area i grew up in!!)

but twinset, if your child's whole class has voted to give up sweets en masse then that is completely different to the OP's situation.

Aitch I read the op that the mother was expressing concern about the selling of sweets not insisting that they should not be sold.

I dont know a lot about religion but from what I have read lent is about fasting from foods and no festivities and a period of reflection. DItching sweeties may be the most unimaginative but I imagine for most children it is probably one of the hardest to do, so they should be supported as much as possible.

AitchTwoOh perhaps, but I can understand why a complaint or query has been made, I would do the same.

I do think it is an odd time for a church school to be having a discco TBH.

it's not that hard, honestly. as twinset said it's quite good fun. i suppose it depends how many sweets you usually get but if your pals are all doing it then it's fine, you get to swan around the playground wafting apples around and feeling virtuous. it's only sweeties they're giving up, it's not like they are required to starve.

i think that you'd be quite within your rights to enquire about the timing of the event, that does seem a bit odd to me. but to limit the amount of 'fun' for children who may be observing some other 'fast' is OTT imo.

I just know I would be annoyed if my five year old came home upset if she had eaten sweets at the school disco.

1- she probably eat sweets as she loves them and her will power is not great- she is five!
2- she would be upset about breaking lent.

but if her entire class had voted to do it then it presumably wouldn't be a problem at a class disco.
using the example of this woman, if she thinks her child can't handle the temptation because her child is too young, then i really think that she shouldn't have given up sweets. like you, i don't think there's much good in setting a child up to fail.

No but even if the whole class had't decided this I woudl expect the school to be sensitive to the fact that many children do give up sweets at Lent and therefore would be disapointed if I found out the school was selling them sweets. But as I said I don;t think the school would do a disco at this time of year.

But to be honest my dd would probably give in to tempatation as she is little and loves sweets and that is why we are supporting her rather than trying to trip her up.

i do agree with you about the timing, but i think that one child simply doesn't have the right to dictate how an entire school disco is run. especially as the tuck money presumably is part of the fundraising. (which is just another reason why the timing is )

But I would be suprised if it only affects one child.

okay, so you and i aren't going to agree. i think that you shouldn't set children up to fail, and during lent they will be faced with sweeties at the school tuck shop etc so if that's too hard for them then another abstinence should be chosen. if it's not too hard, and if the school has (weirdly, imo) decided to hold a disco during lent then one or more children cannot expect the festivities to be made less pleasant in order not to tempt them. i was five once, i loved sweeties and yet i didn't find it too difficult. lord knows i probably slipped off the wagon a couple of times, but if i was the type of child who would be heartbroken over such a thing then i think it would be irresponsible of my parents to encourage me to do it in the first place.

I don't see why anyone would inflict this crap on children in the first place, but can you not, if you must make them pay attention to superstituon, emphasise the positive and get them to make resolutions to do nice things such as helping round the house, raising money for charities, etc? Rather than enforcing some sort of irrational misery time on them, which is going to be difficult for them to understand and simply make them resentful ("well dear, we're having no fun today and hitting ourselves with sticks because of other people's sins" - but mummy, you said it's not fair to blame other people for my mistakes, why should I suffer for theirs?), why not just encourage them to enjoy life?

well, as i way if you are off sweets with all your pals there is a perverse sort of a pleasure in it. (nothign to do with religion, io, everything to do with being the biggest sook with teh teacher etc etc). the things i most remember doing were things like your usual chores but without whinging about it , going to mass with the whole family before school, getting homework completed before teatime etc etc. bear in mind that this was thirty years ago.

i'm kind of surprised that people still go in for it, but then i'm also surprised that children eat sweeties at school (they're pretty much banned by popular parental consent from my local school) so what do i know?

sorry, my keyboard is all wonky... you'll have to decipher that last post.

by the way madamez, i do think your use of the word superstition is pretty rude. and i think you knew that when you wrote it.

ditto aitch.

madamez simply wishes to make a name for herslf, one that is already well-established.