To slip into a deep depression?

[sadzak]

On mat leave 8mo DS, plus 13yo DS DH works away at least one night a week. He has left this morning due back tomorrow night then will be away again Thursday morning until Friday night

Yes I know lots of other people have it much worse than that, yes I knew all this before we married/ had DS2 etc but every time he leaves and I know he isn't coming back that day I just slip into despair and depression that I will be on my own all night with the baby.

justmumnotme

Oh, thank you! I need to stop feeling sorry for myself but I'm not succeeding much.

I have been to a baby group twice but I'm such a mess I can't keep Tina routine ATM xxxx today has been a good day xxxxx

Oh Just

To both of you- and anyone else feeling like this- you're allowed to feel like you do. Never ever feel that you need to justify it. And no one is EVER a knobhead or assface for feeling down- it's the law

Are you going to try to get another appointment for this week Sad?

Wow getting to baby groups can be so difficult - the expectation to get out of the house at set times when all you want to do is hide away? Yeah, it's hard.

Please try not to be too harsh on yourself

My DH was a nurse and worked 'sleeping in' shifts when I had my first baby. Even 20 years later I can remember what I can only describe as a 'desolate wasteland' feeling when he left, especially when he went to work on a Saturday morning and came home on Sunday evening.
Everyone around me (family and friends) acted as though everything was normal which made it particularly lonely, like a private hell.
I didn't think that I was depressed, I thought depression would have made me 'sluggish' when I was actually agitated. But I was depressed and it sounds as if you are too.
Can you get any help? On a temporary basis, would you be able to afford to pay for someone?

We have been discussing putting the baby in a nursery one day a week. Then I can tackle the housework and all the other jobs that I have then may be a bit of a bit of me time. We were thinking about a cleaner to take the pressure off me but it is cheaper to put the baby in a nursery for a full day than have four hours worth of cleaning

Last few days have been okay DH is going back to London again tomorrow so the dread is setting in early

Putting my 2 DC into nursery saved my sanity.

You should do it. Most definitely.

I'm scared!!! Mental health team called and are coming out to the house Friday!!!! I thought was just HV getting involved.

They said i can go into their office if I like but there's no facilities for kids and I don't want to drag DS1 there he doesn't know anything.

Does this mean I'm on the radar now? I'm scared they will think I'm a nut case and take my children away

I promise they aren't going to take anyone away from you- it's just important that you get support and that's all they're going to do. Honestly, you have nothing to worry about. Just be honest and truthful and tell them what you've told us. They will help- there is no reason to be scared xx

No, that's good news. Tell them how you feel and be honest. Your children are loved and cared for, nobody is taking them anywhere....well you can, obviously.

I hope you feel better soon. Your feelings could well be helped with CBT or therapy. In the meantime keep putting strategies in place to deal with the bad days and nights. This will improve.

DH will still be away then tooooo *
*
crying

I hope you're all right!!

I promise, you'll be fine- this is not your first step, you've already talked to us. Take strength from that

Thank you!!! I know I've done the right thing because I've been awful tonight

I've bribed my niece to come over tomorrow she loves helping to look after the baby I'm pathetic